Pain Concern
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Friendships and how chronic pain effects them 😬

Hi all

I have been thinking today about how pain and bad health has affected my life. I no longer work full time as not well enough I thought I had amazing friends at work. I soon found out work friends was a bit optimistic and maybe colleagues was a more realistic way of viewing them.

I now do not hear off any of them on a regular basis, one comments on my fb that is it. I invested a lot of time socially, on nights out I was the joker.

I had another l person who I was a close friend with for over seven years going out a couple of times a week, or for coffee.

Alas once party me became poorly me she slowly found a new drinking buddy. Someone who could/does do all the things I no longer can. I write this for anyone who has experience of this !? I want to say what I have learnt that is a true friend is there regardless. A true friend does not doubt your pain is life limiting or doubt the effect it has on every part of our life's.

Wealth for me isn't £££ in the bank our asset's are the people who are there for us when at our worst. People who help us have better days give us space for our pain management. People who are willing to stick around for the few good days I get.

I hope you all have friends because a real friend to me is worth more than 30 drinking buddies. It really is quality rather than quantity.

16 Replies
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Hi there, I know exactly what you mean about work , I can no longer work and thought I had made some really good friends at my work but you soon find out the true ones , only two of them have bothered to keep in touch . But I wld rather have a handful of true friends than lots of so called friends . Hugs to you x

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Hi,

Same here. Those ‘close’ friends I thought I had at work are nowhere to be seen 2 years after having to leave my job. Fortunately I have a couple of true friends who have been around through thick and thin for 30 years so I am very fortunate. And ‘wealthy’ 🙂

Sending love,

Will 😃

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Sorry you feel the way you do but obviously they weren’t friends. True friends would still be by your side. Big hugs x

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Hi

sorry to hear this about work colleagues obviously they do not understand the the things you are going through I still have good friends so I'm lucky there but I joined fibromyalgia sites local ones are good as they have people who know what you are going through in your area and you can meet up with them and make new friends who know and understand you I met my new friend whom also suffers with fibromyalgia who understands every thing from the pain to cancelling days out. Also just talking to people on the web sites you can join can help with the frustration and the days you feel bad. I hope this helps you a little but there are people out there who make excellent friends both on line and in the flesh

Take care

Jo

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Hi Winniepooh1976

I have always had a realistic view of friends/work colleagues/neighbours

Friends are the people who stick by you no matter what and you stick by them

Work colleagues are just that, no matter how well you get on

Neighbours can be good or bad but they are just neighbours

I have always stuck by that, never had a reason to make me feel this way, I suppose it's just inbuilt

I hope you and everyone else are lucky enough to have some real friends, no matter how few. I had colleagues I got on with before retiring, I have had good neighbours in the past and have them now I have moved, my old neighbours don't keep in touch but my friends do

I don't see them that often as I live around 220 miles away from them, I go back once a year and meet all of them, some of them, the retirees, come to me for a week....they are my real friends

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Hi,

Your not on your own, I think most of us have suffered with this and it can be very lonely. I lost nearly all my so called friends, even my own family, but I have got my children (but they do live far away), but I do get daily telephone calls. On this site, we are all here to help each other as much as we can.

Take care, and a Happy New year for 2018

Teanna

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It’s sich a shame how true this is for so many of us, however chronic pain is good for one thing it shows you who truly is your friend and who truest loves you for you no matter what and when you know that your smallcircle is full of amazing loving caring people.

2017 was a year of getting rid of all of those “friends” and truly learning what family meant to me

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Winniepoo what you said about friends is true. I have one friend and i,m not so sure about that. Soon as i got sick they disappeared. What you wrote is the truth. i wish i knew how to change things those so called friends. i,m so sorry for what your going through. I,ll be your internet friend. you can talk to me anytime if you want to rant or just talk. susiejo1948

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Hi Susiejo 1948

Sorry your friends disappeared when you got sick been poorly doesn't make us any less of a person. I love talking to people so the more internet friends I can get the better.

I would like to offer you the same please feel free to rant or talk to me. I might not have an answer but I am a great listener.

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Similar experience here. Disheartening how quickly everyone vanishes.

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Hi

I know exactly how you feel, I had what I thought was a really good friend we used to go on family holidays, weekends away, regular outings with the kids, then I became ill and she was nowhere to be seen. It certainly makes you see who your real friends are.

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Hi all , I read these posts about friendship and I truly understand and have experienced a lot of sadness and lonliness because of friends and family withdrawing when you need them the most ! I have I friend who has stuck by me for 26yrs and he has helped me and looked after me all this time . We have gone through a lot together, and I am still housebound after 10 yrs ! I am hoping to get better and am on the road to getting there , but when you have set backs its frightening !!! My friend is 72 now and I am 56 , his health and energy is suffering but he , like myself is a keeping on keeping on kind of person ! I pray all the time that I will not be left alone and will find some other people (or person) to be my best friend if something should happen to his health but its a scary place to think about . Can anyone understand how Im feeling ?, anyone any thoughts on t his ?

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I honestly could not cope on my own with my health it is my family children that keep me going. My husband is amazing I keep telling him I am not worth staying with but he says he loves me regardless . I know how lucky I am to have this support.

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I am so sorry, I have a few true friends from all three of my jobs. But I understand how you feel. I have a lot of pain also and cannot get around good, but I just keep going that is all we can do. Take Care and keep in touch.

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Thank you cindy1957 I hope you have better days I just sometimes feel like chronic pain has chipped away at me to the point I have little to offer prospective friends. Going back to pain clinic see if they have a plan B x

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Hi I have not heard from my work friends since my arthritis have got worse.A good friend or family member is priceless

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