Cant sleep because ugh just Life...

[slippingintochaos]

Hello,

So I have spent the past 10 minutes just trying to decide which community to write a post in. I'm really struggling to sleep for several different reasons right now and I am growing beyond frustrated with my life.

So I always think it's best to mention my conditions before launching into my rant! I have aspergers, emotionally unstable personality disorder, Ehlers Danlos syndrome (type 3) aka HEds, fibromyalgia and a few other conditions.

Today I got a phone call from a charity I applied to receive counselling from after being rejected from nhs services for the past 2 and a half years... the charity then also rejected me because according to them they weren't qualified to support me and I needed to see a psychologist on the nhs... the same psychology team that has turn me down at least 4 times?.. yeah great why didn't I think of that?

So I'm just feeling a bit like I'm asking for help and being brushed aside as always. I then rather impulsively applied for a job went to the interview, and oh my the pain the tiredness the headache, I walked there which was approx 1.5miles and in hindsight I should have seen it coming but I now feel horrible. I'm really struggling to regulate my body temperature and I really just want to sleep...

I also have an OT assessment in 6 hours which I'm sure is not helping with the whole sleep thing right now... if it goes well I may finally get a bed if it goes badly I have to deal with the huge front door step in front of my "accessible" bungalow... I know I seem ungrateful and I feel it too, especially having friends who have suffered from kidney failure, cancer and other life threatening/life limiting conditions but I was thinking fibromyalgia isn't a death sentence it's a life sentence. It's not that I don't appreciate my life it's that I don't feel able to love it because I am always trying to save energy just so I can shower the next morning.

That's what I struggle with! Knowing I may live to 80 and never go further from my bungalow than Tesco and back because I'm too anxious too tired in too much pain, and despite diets meds physio yoga and the hundreds of other things I've tried I just don't seem able to get a handle on it...

I just don't seem able to cope in this body, this wreck of a body, this weak chronically fatigued constantly stiff and painful body of mine or the foggy brain that can barely remember it's own birthday. It's just becoming too much I think I'm going backwards I was a happy healthy 19 year old first year paeds nursing student in London, I'm now a 22 year old unemployed drop out who does nothing all the time... and feels like nothing too I just don't see how it's fair and I don't see how I'm meant to cope.

[Bananas5]

I think if you post on the fibbro forum they will be able to help and advise you better than we can here.

Good Luck

x

[Madlegs1]

Horrible situation to find yourself in.

Completely off the wall- but has anyone checked you for Lyme disease? Were you ever bitten by a tick- bulls eye rash.

If you have the energy, Google it and see if it sounds any way familiar?

The problem is there is no reputable test for it- but the rash is very definite.

Course of antibiotics is the treatment.

I apologise if this is not relevant to you.

Just that my daughter experienced it and suffered hugely.

My heart goes out to you. Good luck with OT assessment.