I've been going thru a tough time lately ,as I become a slow life moving person slowly at snails pace but I am up & moving at last. It's taken since my treatment began in 2014 to get back on my feet & iam getting there..
But I want to ask u lot what u think about going to see a clinical psychologist, I've done a pain management clinic 1:1 for approx 8 sessions & a 7wk group course, sadly none of us stayed in touch, but I can't seem to get back into life , my husband takes me shopping at the weekend - I rush around as fast as possible, refuse to go shopping saying iam in too much pain, I have the issue if crowds, I become very anxious inside, sweat , but dam say get over it ,I think iam embarased by the fact I have to walk with a stick now,I don't want ppl to see me..when u go to hosp for app it's common to have a stick or aids , u fit in, but out its ppl & how I feel ..
What has been said is the pain clinic felt that it would be good to talk to a pro- she thought I may have ptsd ( post trauma stress disorder) & s/a ( social anxiety) .geeze it souds awful, but can I over come this..
Has anyone else been like this - a long rd to recovery then the social side has issues!!
Iam a happy person who desperately needs friends I have no one except these groups , a husband who knows but is in denial! I don't know how to get back into the real world..it's easy to chat here but I'd never have the balls (excuse me ) to say this to a Dr. X
Love to u all..look forward to ur reply.x
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Tash1971
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I know how lonely it can be not having any friends , I don't have any myself . My husband is very supportive but I do miss having contact with others . My sister in law is about the closest I have to a friend. I found it very difficult at first and used to cry , I have excepted it now and it dosnt bother me anymore.
Bless u ..I have 1 sister in law but when we moved house 17 yr ago she didn't like it & stopped speaking to us very much bec it's like hers, so that's her!!
I lost all me friends from work bec if the accident they may of sent a card occasionally but no one came...
I've accepted it but I wish I could have friends..to do things with.
Its easy to become anti social, and sometimes feel okay to chat with someone on the checkout (when you do manage to go out for supplies) as if all is fine, but when it comes to having a proper social life or make friendships, its another ball game, like me. I slowly am losing my abilties, and even my wanting, to go out and engage, because its so much easier to just deal with yourself depending on how bad the pain or fatigue is, but it means isloation and loneliness. I have dogs who are my main pals, but I have a loving hubby too, but he goes to work, and doesn't really get the need for socialising, as hes happy for me just to be at home. Yes sites like these are good, but they are no substitite for the real things and humans. Talk to your psychologist and be honest. Even going to the sessions is a big step so well done for going and hope things improve. Take is slowly. Slow steps can be big and meaningful ones in life ...
I may of learnt to stand in my own 2 feet again after going thru 5 spine ops , hip ops & take a whole host of meds to keep me going ; sadly tho i know I will end up in that wheelchair soon!but iam determined nowto go b4 my time.
Thanks DISC ..
I think seen a sinuses to work with pPl & see ppl everyday I miss it.xx
Hello Tash, I'm so sorry to hear about your reluctance to go out. Have you ever thought you might be depressed or nervously ill and that this is causing the anxiety? There's a wonderful book by Dr Clare Weekes called "Peace From Nervous Suffering". She was a doctor who suffered a nervous breakdown and her instructions are marvellous, having been there herself. I don't know if you are a Christian, but, even if you're not, churches sometimes provide a link to the community. They may be glad to be of some support. Also, what about a hobby group. I'm not sure if you are able to do much, with your medical problems. However, it sounds like you're very lonely and that this could be the biggest problem.
I would definitely tell the doc about you're problems. Believe me, they hear these things everyday.
I'll look out for this book,.iam a spiritualist; but I don't have a spiritual church near me, I run 2 fb groups with nearly 5k in members, I chat all day long, I have np with holding a convo-just don't see a human!.xx
good info, i was the same way, as an retired nurse nobody can understand the things that come with RA, i see a psychologist and went back to work doing home heath care as sn aid, its been so good for me to be around others who just want company and some help, the big plus is i han work at my own pace, my husband left me the day after i told him I had RA, he was all ready feed up with my constance sleep and bad mood due to pain, it hit me so hard at fist but now i love having not to fack bad days just so he wouldn't nag, this chronic illness has made big changes in my life and not are have been bad, im just glad i got the home i have worked so hard on.
Seeing a clinical psychologist may or may not be useful. Many are into making a diagnosis according to their previous education. What you need is education into how to investigate your condition and doing what ever needs to be done to get the best quality of life possible.
You have been given a possible diagnosis because your symptoms match symptoms listed in the DSM. Symptoms can have many different causes. You can spend hours talking about causes with a clinical psychologist and be totally wasting your time.
The best road to making friends is to join a group attached to the various religious traditions. Find a religious tradition that suits you. There are the means of developing skills in the religious traditions that help with pain, depression, anxiety to name just a few mental health conditions.
See an Alexander Teacher. They will help you with body language and various muscle and posture difficulties that help towards causing certain mental conditions.
Join a yoga group. This will help you change the body language that you give out to other people. It will enable you to begin to network with other people.
I have a diagnosis that's been declared by a a surgeon on the NHS & also a private spinal surgeon, I know I will not get better, iam just learning to walk again ,after been nearly paralysed, so just starting to venture out , but it's doing it all alone that's the hard part.
Like I said above been at home for 3 yr getting better is lonely, just starting to go out is terrifying!!.xx
Thanks for the reply. Your experience is outside my range of knowledge. "Born to walk" by James Earls may be useful reading. It may be able to give you some useful ideas. You can get the book from amazon for about £16. It is one of my reference books which I use to study making my walking more efficient.
Terror and breathing are related. Think how you breathe when you are happy and relaxed. Notice how you breathe before going out.
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