I've lived my life with complications from Hydrocephalus-an excessive accumulation of cerebrospinal fluid in the brain-and a malfunctioning VP shunt.
My shunt was supposed to help me be able to have more stability in my life by circulating excessive CSF from my brain. However, it's malfunctioning lead to many problems that were incredibly overwhelming and seemed to reach their culmination when I had the worst seizures to date at the age of 18.
That occurrence seemed to result from excessive CSF draining through my previously-blocked shunt. Unfortunately, once I was taken away from where I had that experience, I didn't have help or receive medical treatment.
Although I don't really know what could have been done, I know that being taken back to my house and left alone was wrong.
The seizures seemed to continue throughout the night, followed by a lack of recognition of my own existence and blackouts,
Like how i lived when my shunt had worse blockage, these "blackouts" overwhelmed my body while I continued to move and speak unknowingly.
Before much time had passed, the world changed from me standing in my house to my body walking toward my locker at school.
After another blackout, I continued living as usual.
Although there was less pressure in my head from my shunt seeming to no longer having blockage, existing was still immensely stressful.
Everything I did had an impact on my bodily functions, awareness and consciousness.
The intracranial pressure that I lived with wasn't something I ever adapted to, not that anyone really could.
Even though I wasn't aware of what was wrong with me after the worst seizures I'd had, I still remained suspicious of my existence, as usual.
Without a way to receive help due to a lack of understanding from many people, my state of mind and the condition of my body remained "invisible".
For reasons unclear to me, the "normal" headache I lived with increased to unbearable levels and the aching in my body increased with time.
This seemed to worsen my existence by creating more obstacles with every waking moment and minute during sleep.
My only guess as to why my daily living worsened about a year after the excessive CSF drainage and seizures is because my body became somewhat numb to what it was trying to handle.
Eventually, it may have become too much to handle.
I've lived with a lot of struggling over the past few years, which seems to be somewhat better now.
However, there are times when my body's stability will plummet suddenly.
For example, I will experience sudden paralysis for hours, deal with insomnia and/or sleep paralysis, have apparent symptoms of VP shunt malfunctions, have worsened heart issues (which seem to be linked to the aforementioned issues), and have increased numb pain as well as a change in gait and physical stability.
On a couple of occasions, I seem to have possibly experienced symptoms of minor strokes.
On top of that, I have a VP shunt that is way too tight as a result of shunt migration when I was 18.
Unfortunately, it just seems to continue to tighten, causing various problems.
in some ways, living is much better than it has been over the past few years and is certainly better than it was throughout adolescence and my childhood.
However, these problems are still quite alarming!
There may have been some issues I've forgotten to mention-as well as many problems I've lived with that I haven't named due to the fact that they would just be far too extensive for a post.
While each of them affect my body in fluctuation, they seem to be linked to what my body has endured.
Sometimes, I wonder if what I'm going through is changing for the better until sudden and intense issues arise.
It's clear to me that my body has taken too much damage to not receive whatever help possible, especially with considering that each of the issues that complicate my life are probably permanent and further affecting me.
I wish I could figure out what has been wrong, but I'm not able to at this time because I don't have health insurance and I'm not able to afford any right now.
Because I express my concerns online, countless people tell me to visit a doctor.
However, that's not exactly easy as an American resident without health insurance.
Even with it, there will probably be an unbelievable amount of expenses!
If any of you can make any sense of this summary, please try to share whatever you can.
For those of you who have read this, thank you. <3
Please make the most of your days.