Pain's revenge

Just tried to post something and pressed the wrong button and it all disappeared - just about sums up my luck this week.

To cut a long story short, I had my pain clinic follow up this week, after a 6 month break because things were going so well. I'd had this little daydream where I was going to walk in and ask to be discharged because I felt I just didn't need the help anymore.

Then things started going pear-shaped.

I was resigned to having more botox, in fact I was just keen for them to get on with it in the end. I'm not bothered about injections these days, it doesn't even hurt that much.

Only this time it REALLY HURT - I'm not exaggerating, if you'd asked me to rate it on a pain chart I'd have said 10/10 and then some. The doctor said it was probably because I'd got stiff. I was so shaken up they wouldn't let me leave the clinic for a while - not that I felt up to going anywhere.

That'll teach me to be optimistic.

I told them about the daydream, and then the tears finally came. I have to say they were wonderful - tissues and hugs came out of nowhere. It's that kindness that makes all the difference (I gave them top marks on the patient satisfaction questionnaire).

So back to the usual. As well as the post-botox fatigue and aching, and a few other little problems that life is chucking in my direction, I am feeling worn down again.

I'm clinging to what one of the nurses said when I asked if patients ever did get discharged : "some people do get better. You never know..."

5 Replies

  • It sounds like an eye watering experience. I agree it is the kindness of others that keep us afloat. And there is plenty of it sloshing around the universe I find.

    We will all feel a bit better with a bit if warm weather and bright sunny days to wrap around us. It's on it's way honest.

    Good luck with your day dream.

    You never know.



  • stranger things have happened never know. good luck xxx

  • It is that little rays of hope we all live for. Having people that understand and really empathise with your pain and related depression makes it possible to live through the darker days. I hope things settle down again for you and that you feel more in control of your pain.

    nutty x

  • Thank you all.

    I have taken a big jump with both feet and started to tackle some of the problems again.

    The pain is with me, it is not all of me.

    I'm like a weeble - didn't they wobble but not fall down?

    (Do kids still have weebles? My two never had them, a shame, they were great, we had a bus for them and everything...)

  • I too lament the loss of the Weeble. They did indeed have an amazing ability to regain the upright position even after the bouncy boys had done there worst.

    I myself am a champaign cork. Push me down and my bubbles push me to the surfice.


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