Strange Feeling!

I've known ever since my surgery that like so many of you my cancer can't be cured but can be treated and I am in fact now on 3rd line chemo. Like many of you too I have loads of paperwork on my condition, treatment etc.

I received a letter about attending for jury service and had to get an excusal letter from my doctor for this. The letter stated quite correctly that "as this patient has a terminal disease it would not be appropriate for her to be called for jury service again".

I know it's terminal but seeing it in black and white for the first time really gave me such a funny feeling for a little while - I'm totally about okay it now - and just wondered if anyone else had had the same and if they had the same reaction.

Cathy xx

9 Replies

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  • Hi Cathy ,

    It is a bit of a shock seeing this written down...seems to have a bigger impact somehow.. I am glad you are ok about it....because when you think about it nothing has changed lots of love x G x :-)

  • I prefer the use of the word chronic to the word terminal. Lots of ladies with ovarian cancer can live for longer than 5 yrs with treatment

  • Hi Cathy, I had the same experience when I saw CA Ovaries written for the 1st time on my blood form in clinic. Although I'd had the diagnosis, seeing in in the written form was a shock.

    Best wishes

    Chris xx

  • I had to get a medical report when I was applying to get my pension releases and it made quite gloomy reading, although my chances are actually very good, but it is a shock to see these things in print and about YOU. But as Gwyn says, nothing has actually changed.

    Linda x

  • Dear Cathy

    I agree with you - it is a huge shock to read things in black and white. I had an hour-long appointment with my oncologist yesterday. She commented that we shouldn't talk about cancer in terms of being 'terminal' but as Lorraine says in terms of a 'chronic' condition. I think your GP was rather lacking in tact to have used the term he did.

    Interesting you don't want to do Jury Service. I've never been asked and it was one of the things I said to my husband I'd like to have done. My husband was on jury service last year and found it fascinating - a rape case where the accused (man) was found to be innocent.

    My life assurance cuts in if I have letter from my GP to say I have a year left to live. I can't imagine plucking up the courage to go and ask my GP for that letter. Lucky for me I'm not in that place yet!!

    Take heart. I agree with Gwyn's wise words. Nothing's changed.

    love Annie xx

  • Thanks everyone for your comments and I agree nothing has changed it's just the first time the terminal word has ever been used even though I know I am! The letter I got to send seemed to be a sort of legal document so it's probably the wording which has to be used to make things clear and binding. I've gone for jury duty three times before and picked twice but the chemo I'm having at the moment doesn't finish until the end of January/February depending on how often it's cancelled because of low white blood cells - hopefully not too often as I want to get on and get it finished so I can go on holiday!! I've also got a suspicion that I'll be back on something else before too long when this chemo finishes as I haven't had much of a remission between chemos at all so it's probably best that they don't send for me again for jury duty.

    Cheers everyone.

    Cathy xx

    .

  • Hi Cathy, I found it a bit of a shock when I saw my last letter from the oncology Doc saying I had been treated "palliatively" with Gemzar. I knew I wouldn't be cured but like you say when you see the words it gives you another wake up call. I'm on 4th line now, day 8 of oral and hating it. Just going through a miserable woe is me time this week. I can do this though. Need another holiday. I have never done jury duty. Have always been working which suited me fine. My husband is also a Prison Warden which was a good out for me.

    Regards Chris.

  • Dear Cafhy,

    I have also felt similar especially after reading a story about myself in the media, when I was described as having terminal cancer. It sounded very final to me, I am secondl line chemo at the moment and like to think of my cancer as non-curative.

    Wendy x

  • Hi

    I had a bit of a melt down when I was sent for a 'palliative' surgery refferal. I suppose I did not know what that term meant and so to me it was what people who are dying were given. I am now perfectly happy to accept that this means it is treating symptoms, rather than being curative.

    Cathy, I would really like to think that your onc used the word terminal for impact and ease of understanding, just to get you off the jury service. Otherwise it could have been a rather long description about when you would or would not be free, which the jury service would not understand or care about so better to just say 'she can't do it.'

    I don't agree that incurable is the same thing as terminal. I certainly don't think it is suitable word to describe any of us who are living our lives and getting on with things, whether having treatment or not, albeit knowing that someday our conditions will deteriorate. In my mind terminal is literally the end of the road and should only be used when the inevitable is imminent.

    This is a really interesting topic as having said my piece, I realise I WOULD NOT want to be classified as terminal and it could be that I am, but have mis-interpreted its true meaning again. But, like Gwyn says, it would not change anything.

    Take care lovely ladies. :) :)

    Vx

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