A (petty?) vanity wail

Short and sweet and I hope that this is not offensive to other members.

Had my first chemo session yesterday and entered another world. One full of kindness and boundless patience from the staff at my local centre. All the powers that be, hope that they are always Blessed.

My 'wail' : Nowhere on the wigs catalogue was any provision made for women of African or Caribbean origin. I have shoulder length corkscrew curls and since I would only need a wig for a short while I wanted to go as close to my natural curl as possible. Even the short hair wigs will not come close and though I am willing to go 'alternative' i.e. short and not so curly, I am slightly miffed at the state of things.

Perhaps someone here might know of an online group or support for us 'Heinz specials'?

Ha! That was not as short and sweet as I thought it would be but I wanted to air my 'wail' Of course I will carry on looking and if I find something useful I will blog it. One never knows; there might be another mixed race woman with the same vanity lament.

Now before I get scolded for my vanity, I will say this: I am going to shave and wear scarves when it all comes out but in my very public position at work I would prefer not to be the recipient of a major pity-party. Not going to work for the length of the treatment is sadly not an option.

Anyone?

ps Thanks for having me :)

10 Replies

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  • Hi not petty at all... I am the opposite to you as I have a straight white wig lol

    I wanted to match my hair colour and style too, no one notices I have a wig on...( result) I think it a good idea to match the colour and style.. the first time I lost my hair I couldn't do that .. so hated my wig .. now the second time around I don't mind wearing it ..I am so sorry you are going through this.. a synthetic wig is better as it stays pemanently in the style so don't have to restyle it. If you are living in or near Liverpool they have a lot of Affro Caribbean wig shops there. I have found this :- Malik stores Online. (hope this helps)

    best wishes x G x

    malikstores.co.uk

  • Try the Natural Image Collection.

    The Tannah wig is close to your requirements.

    "One of our most beautiful premium styles, the Tannah wig features cascades of thick and glossy ringlet curls which tumble down to the shoulders, creating lots of natural movement and bounce".

    I used this firm when I needed a wig and found that they were very good.

    You may have to adopt an open mind with your new appearance as no wig is going to make you look like your original self.

    A new look is quite liberating in an odd sort of way. It is something that most of us would not consider but for the dilemma of hair loss.

    It took me by surprise when my son-in-law blurted out that he preferred me in my modern wig with subtle highlights although it was a rather different style to the old me!

    Good luck in your search

    Isabelle

  • Hi

    Try looking at this website:

    wigshow.co.uk/wigs/browse/a...

    and I wish you all the very best whilst undergoing your chemo.

    Becky

  • Hi

    Not petty at all - very major! I am also mixed race (White/Asian) and when I had Breast Cancer in the UK 2 yrs ago could not find a wig that looked right - not sure why as they had many colours. It had something to do with hair texture I think. I ended up buying a synthetic wig which looked very glamorous when I tried it on but was just not me. I never wore it. Relocated to Singapore, diagnosed with OC in Feb, bought a human hair wig which is not my colour but the right texture, feel totally happy with it and can go out and forget it is on, except when it gets hot!

    Found another link you might look at pakcosmetics.com who do afro-caribbean wigs both human hair and synthetic. Good luck! Glad yr chemo went well.

    All the best

    Monique

  • Hi

    Welcome to the site.I have lost my hair twice.

    The 1st time was in winter, and I loved wearing my wig.

    The 2nd time was in summer and I found the wig unbearably hot.I never thought I would wear a headscarf, because I thought it would mark me out as a cancer victim. However, I got so hot that I had sweat pouring down my face with the wig on. So I started to wear scarves.And it was fine!

    I used to live in South London and there were lots of African wig shops there.

    But maybe the NHS needs to widen its range.

    Hope you are feeling OK after your chemo.

    Best wishes

    Juliex

  • Hope you find what you are looking for. Know the feeling, I could not find a wig that matched my rather wild curly hair and was suprised at how unlike myself I felt in the wrong wig!! I had always moaned about my hair, I do not do that anymore.

  • Dear Vanitywail

    You're quite entitled to make a fuss if there aren't afro-caribbean wigs on offer in your catalogue. It's actually a disgrace and it's worth emailing them and asking politely where they are.

    You seem to have a few suggestions for finding a suitable wigger. Is that the term for people who sell wigs? I really hope you do say something about the lack of wigs for you .... and you have my support for one if you do.

    I like your style - shaving it all off and wearing hats or scarves. I didn't know we had a choice - Taxol or not Taxol. Nobody explained that, but I have heard since that some women do very well with just carbo-platin only. I arrived at this treatment quite by accident so didn't have to worry straight away about losing my hair. Another plus is there are less side-effects.

    It might even be worth asking about this. I didn't want to lose my hair for the first month and it was no problem at all for the hospital to arrange for me to add Taxol to the dose after 2 infusions. It's just that there was a bit of an admin error and there were no Taxol places. I had just the carbo-platin, my CA125 count plummeted from the first session, and at the end of 6 the little beasties left in my lymphs had shrivelled up and disappeared.

    I wish you luck with the treatment and hope it works for you. I'd love to hear how you get on. It's a tough call having chemotherapy if you've just had to cope with surgery too. Perhaps the carbo-platin only option is worth considering. I don't mind if you tell me to mind my own business.

    Whatever the choice ..... good luck and love. You have one good attitude to beat this disease. xxxx Annie

  • Dearest Fellow bloggers

    So wonderful to read all the support! I will try and answer all your posts and will have a good gander at all the suggestions ... just got in after spending most of the day with friends out and about on doggie/coffee/foodie walks - I'm POOPED - so lovelies... I'm off to shower and bed. Thanx for the welcome xxxx

  • Splendid response Vanitywail. Really glad you've had such a good weekend. xxx Annie

  • Hi Everyone! Sigh...so much for the good intentions to blog more. I'm sorry but when Monday came around I started to feel really yukkie. Thank you once again for positive responses to what now seems so very banal.

    The team at my local centre called me on Monday night and reassured me that what I was going through was normal for the first week. My family is being wonderful and I have to get over myself not to feel guilty about not being able to do half the things I usually do.

    It's a beautiful morning here on the South coast and I took a long amble with my dog at about 6 this morning. Got in at 8:45 and here I am collapsed on the bed with my window to the world!

    Thanks Gwyn xxx checked them out. Good ones on there.

    Lol Isabelle ... I suppose this is when I can really go wild!

    Thanks Becky xxx

    Thanks Monique and Julie xxx I think I will go synthetic too...much lighter. I am also looking at scarves. Don't want to disgust customers with a sweaty face!

    Annie xxx I'm on Pac/carbo combo; had the option of cooling cap. Till the machine stopped working half way through the treatment ... :/ I'm truly not too bothered about the hair anymore... It's the least of things anyway. I will endeavour to make a fuss when I'm more focused, feeling a bit fuzzy about many issues now. That must be normal, huh.

    Ha Ha Nandi... when I saw your name, I thought: Now how did she know I was on this forum? My daughter is called Nandi! I used to complain about my wild hair too... no more I tell you!

    Much love to you all

    Debbie xxx

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