I feel helpless

[Beaver54]

Hi everyone,

I read the posts on here every day, and feel helpless that I can’t offer words of advice to those of you reaching out. I am staggering my way through my first year since diagnosis and don’t feel anywhere near qualified to contribute in that way. All I will say is to allow friends and family to help and support you. They really do want to. I struggled with that to start with as I am extremely independent, and having to rely on others didn’t come easy. They have kept me going. Thank you to all of you on here who have responded to me and given me hope. I hope and pray for all of us that there is light at the end of this dark tunnel.

wishing you all a happy Christmas and a brighter 2024. Take care.

Bev x

[Lyndy]

Hello Bev

Well you have just contributed! We can only offer our own experience of treatment, of the impact of cancer on our lives and mental health.

Like you I was sooo independent and hated accepting that I needed help. But it’s all learning.. and sometimes when you accept help it deepens your relationship with your helper.

Wishing you a great Christmas and us all a bit of luck in 2024! xx

[lesleysage]

Thank you, Beaver.

It sounds as if you will really treasure your family and friends over this coming festive season and into 2024. I found it so amazing at the number who turned out to be real 'Stars' and 'Radiators' with only a few showing themselves as 'Drains' and they faded as my energy and stamina lowered. The Radiators were then as I regained energy and there for the recurrence...in 2013 and since. Warmest wishes. x

[Fluffyjumper]

Hi Beaver54

Recognising that we need to ask for support from family and friends is a big step for many of us who have always valued our independence. I also struggled with that and with the requirement to slow down for a while. You’ve got through this first year and should congratulate yourself for that as OC drains you physically and mentally.

Wishing you a happy Christmas and hope 2024 is a good year for you, your family and friends.

[Newbery3]

Merry Christmas bev, and a Happy Healthy NewYear xxx

[SopSinger]

Have a lovely Christmas, Bev. Sending hugs!

[Tulips66]

Hi Bev, thank you for your lovely Christmas wishes. When we are first diagnosed its just a whirlwind of hospital appointments, chemo & ops. It all seems surreal & we don't really get a chance to process all thats happening to us, so I can totally understand how you are feeling. While family are brilliant they thankfully don't really know what we are going through, so Ovacome is a place where we can all support & encourage each other. You don't necessarily have to contribute, but by reading other women's posts & knowing you are not the only one going through this can help in some small way. If you are feeling down, there is always someone on here to support you. I don't contribute too often myself but definitely find reading everyone else's posts can help. I was diagnosed Jan 2019 & I am still here. Even though I have been continuously on treatment of some sort I feel good & have got my life back to normal. I hope this will give you the strength you need to get through this difficult time in your life & there is light at the end of this dark tunnel. I wish you a lovely Christmas, good health & happiness for 2024 X

[Beaver54 in reply to Tulips66]

Thank you Tulips66 for putting everything into context . It’s great to hear that you are feeling good, despite everything you have been through. long may it continue. xx

[delia2]

Happy Christmas. This was a lovely post!

[Emcee71]

Please don't feel helpless Bev, as you've helped me by voicing and sharing your difficulties with losing your independence, which is exactly what I'm facing right now. And you're so right about friends and family, who have all been brilliant.

I'm new to this too, myself just 4 weeks post op (had 'the lot' out) and since I got my Clear Cell diagnosis. I got Covid a week after I came out of hospital and though it was mild, I wonder if I might have a residual slight chest infection,,, definitely suffering from extreme fatigue. Not being able to work, drive, jump on a train, walk far down the road even, not even any energy to do anything constructive like cooking or sewing I am driving myself utterly insane! And worse, being really mean to my boyfriend who lives in another town. I am angry, angry at anyone who mentions a Christmas party or a meetup or moans about shopping or a slight health issue (and yes, I know, just like I'd have done before 'this'!) . I'd kill to go bloody shopping or sit in a cafe watching the world go by!! So thank you for reaching out and I send you lots of good wishes, we are here for you XX

[Beaver54 in reply to Emcee71]

Hi Emcee 71. I’m pleased that I have helped in some small way, but I am so sorry that you are going through such a hard time. I had open and shut surgery( inoperable) 6 weeks ago and am only just getting some energy back. (Still not able to go to Christmas functions though or join family in annual theatre trip to London) . You have been through so much more, it’s hardly surprising you feel the way you do. Hopefully you will soon begin to feel more energised and able to enjoy life once more. I hope your boyfriend is understanding and supportive in the meantime. Sending you hugs and warm wishes 🤗 xx