While in a period of NED I have been giving thought to how cancer has changed my life (it's better than wondering when it will recur or whether or not that little pain in my abdomen is a new tumor...those thoughts will drive you batty!!)
Certainly, much has changed. Some things for the better and some, for the worse. While dwelling on the "better," I realized that cancer has given me many gifts for which I am grateful. I could say, "Dear Cancer, Thank you for motivating me to slow down and take pleasure in the everyday experiences of life." or perhaps, "Dear Cancer, Thank you for helping me to prioritize what is important in my life and to free me to spend time with family and friends." and I would mean it. I am grateful for all the ways cancer has helped me see things more clearly.
On the other hand (that's why we have two!) cancer is a beast that has already taken too much from me and all those who have had the misfortune to experience it as patients or as caregivers. Thanking it seems ridiculous and improper. However, I have the need to face my challenges and doing so with humor helps me go forward.
Being the often sarcastic humorist in the family, I tend to dance with thoughts like, "Dear Cancer, Thank you for improving my vocabulary. Prior to last year I did not know the definition of words like ascites or cystadenoma. I am much better at Scrabble now." Or perhaps, "Dear Cancer, Thank you for giving me a new, very long and very red scar running from my belly button to my "nether region. At least it's vertical and thus slimming!"
And then there are the blended "thank you" notes such as, "Dear Cancer, Thank you for scaring the beejeebers out of my family and friends, so much so that they end every conversation, phone call and visit - which are all much more frequent now - with a sincere, "I love you." We all need to be reminded that we are loved.
So, while I have it on my mind, I'm wondering, my lovely teal sisters, how would you finish the sentence, "Dear Cancer...Thank you for...."?
P.S. I am hopeful that everyone takes this note as intended and that no one is offended by the idea that one can "thank" cancer.
You are so right! Right now post surgery im feeling a 'dear cancer thank you for adding a further five scars to my stomach this swimsuit season...I now look like a dot to dot'. But actually, once this stage is over, I'm more determined to travel to every where on my list. Previously I always found excuses...too expensive ...too far away..I hate flying. Well, whilst I can still travel safely I shall be, with no more exuses! So, dear cancer, thank you for kicking me up the arse and making sure I take every opportunity I'm presented with.
Absolutely travel when you are feeling well! I’ve been doing the same and am enjoying it immensely. Recover well and get back to this exciting and adventurous life!
Yes, I could say “thanks for messing up my life, thanks for nothing, etc” but I do know where you are coming from e.g. the true friends and unexpectedly supportive family members who have given so much love. Especially the ones who have stayed with me and fed me when I couldn’t be bothered. With cancer you know who your friends truly are!
Thank you Cancer, for leading me to a love of art! Having had to give up gardening I started to sketch and paint as I could do it sitting down - it has given me so much pleasure! I never had the time before cancer. I can recommend it as a distraction!
Thank you for making me slow down and appreciate the small joys of life. I find joy in sunlight filtering through the trees, the smell of an early morning if I can’t sleep. Just sitting and studying nature if I can’t rush about doing things.
Thank you for making me realise how lucky I am to have Steve, a truly loving and supportive partner. I love him to bits! He has stepped up and done what’s needed so many times and never complains.
I’m a great believer in silver linings and that is as true of cancer as anything else- but you have to look for it to find it. Sometimes you have to look very hard.
Hmmm. Cancer & chemo, the gift that keeps giving!!!
Don’t really share yr sentiments hon, but trying to see. I am grateful for my NED time at present & praying it lasts till I gently fade in my sleep one day into old age.
Love your post. There are always positive and negative factors with what happens to us. Truthfully, for me, I am not comfortable thanking the cancer for anything even though it has brought many gifts to me and all the 'wake up' calls it has given me about life, death, impermanence etc. I would give those all away to turn back time and not have an incurable, terminal prognosis. At the same time, given this has happened to many of us, if I could, I would thank cancer if no-one would ever get cancer again!
For me- the most elegant fingernails I have had for some time ( not toenails though). Mainly due to doing no housework, gardening and any other jobs where they get trashed. However, I could have lived without them......
Having cancer has allowed me a number of experiences that I wouldn’t have had otherwise (never mind all that valuing family and friends stuff too!). So in no particular order:
- speaking about ovarian cancer at a ‘society lunch’ at Fortnum and Mason, hosted by Tamara Beckwith and attended by the Duchess of York.
- getting my photo in Tatler as a result 😎
- modelling in a fashion show.
- VIP backstage passes to Celebrity Juice and meeting/having a chat and photos with the celebs.
- completing Gung Ho (giant obstacle course) and Pretty Muddy.
- not being afraid of having fun, looking silly, singing etc. in public. If I want to go on the inflatable helter skelter at the school summer fayre to ‘make sure it is safe for the kids’ then I’m going to do it. If I hear a tune I want to dance to, then I’m gonna dance. If I want to sing my head off in my car whilst stuck in a traffic jam, then what the heck!
- finding a way of having a good experience even if I feel a bit crap.
Love the "not being afraid" of having fun...I too find that I now do what I feel like doing in little ways - like singing in the car, even when the gal in the next car is looking at me like I'm bonkers, or telling the naked truth to a stranger who asks while shopping, "Does this hat look good on me?" (It didn't) and so on. Can't even remember why I held myself back from fully participating in life anymore - just sure I won't be doing it anymore. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for making me realise I am not immortal, for encouraging me to clean out my chest of drawers, for making me grab every moment, for going wild river swimming in t shirt and knickers and not giving a f**k what people think, for standing under a waterfall and getting drenched and squealing like a kid, for making me so close to my brother again. Xxx
Dear Cancer, thank you for slowing me down and getting me the time off from work that I really needed. Thank you for slowlimg my life down long enough to appreciate sights, sounds and smells. I.e..I now really do smell the flowers. Thank you for making my son hurry up and give me a grand child. That was the best gift ever!
Lyndy - you moved me with "that I am still me and this is still my life, whatever you throw at me..." It really sums it all up. Thank you for sharing (and the sister-in-law comment was brilliant!)
Thank you for helping me realize what is truly important in life - my family especially my daughter and my grandchildren.
Thank you for my new short hairstyle. After years of long hair I really like it short, courtesy of Taxol.
Thank you for directing me to my spiritual community where I have found support, friendship, and comfort.
Thank you for a deeper relationship with my brothers.
Thank you for all of the Earth Angels who have shown up on this journey including nurses, doctors, strangers, neighbors, old friends, just random acts of kindness.
Thank you for helping to release me from my judgmental nature. I have learned that just as no one can know what this is like for me, so to I have no idea of the pain and path that other people walk.
To stay positive I have to focus on the gifts....I'm human....I have my days and my fears and my anger etc. and my bewilderment, but I try not to let those feelings be in charge.
What a lovely note, Kathy. I especially like the deeper relationship with your brothers, the Earth Angels you have found and the release of judgment...that one has been a big one for me too in so many ways. Thank You for sharing.
I'd say thank you to cancer for allowing me to not worry about the little things in life and I definitely know who my real friends are and since I spend more time with my loved ones. I take a vacation every year, mostly seeing relatives. I went to Spain, Barcelona for my 3 yr anniversary, I'd like to see Italy next. It's taught not to take things for granted. I try to see the love in the world. Thanks for this, great idea. ❤❤Liz
Dear cancer thank you for making my husband and I give up work as soon as we got a good scan result, buy a motorhome and go off abroad for 10 weeks till the next scan, would never have done it without you 😁,
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Thank you LA and everyone, but...
Thank you for the support x
Thank you to the beautiful contributors to this site and 'Hello'.
A big thank you
