I went on a 'Save the NHS' demo in Westminster today, and decided to go bareheaded, which I have never done before, being somewhat self-conscious. Apart from the danger of getting pneumonia of the brain, I discovered that I had totally disappeared. People looked past, over and through me. Usually people on demos are friendly, exchanging smiles and generally being matey. Today not even eye contact. Very odd experience!
Disappearing...: I went on a 'Save the NHS' demo... - My Ovacome
Disappearing...
Well done you ... I found that poeple stared at me .... their loss we are still people with interesting stories .... sod em πͺπ»πͺπ»
Hi Rachael,
Their loss, they don't know you,or the story you have to tell,
Well done for braving the cold,although you were lucky it turned milder,
Carole xxx
Hi Rechael, I am proud of you its not easy to go bareheaded. I have had hats, scarfs, & wigs but when my hair come back I gave them to a cancer clinic. When my cancer came back I was told I would not lose my hair this time with chemo. It has fallen badly & other than a little bit on top of my head I look bold. People treat me like I am not here. I could wear a wig or a fancy hat but it makes my hair fall out more now. The only reason I felt the need to cover my bold head in the first place was others. I didn't want to up set them but I really don't care any more because I am a live. Stuff them, everyday someone mentions my hair or won't stop looking at me. We are fighting, we are real, we matter so carry on girl!!! Take care Cindyxx
Well done for going on the demo, but how odd that people ignored you! You would have been a perfect example of why we need to save the NHS. I hope your head has defrosted now...brrrr!
Rachael, firstly a Well Done to you for attending the demo and going bareheaded. That's a fantastic thing to do and I really hope you felt empowered π
People are sometimes embarrassed and don't know what to say it are worried that if they are 'caught looking' or do say something that it will not be welcomed by the person. There are always ignorant people too but I'm sorry that you found it a different experience.
I remember last April when hubby and I were sat waiting in the Chemo Unit for my first ever meeting with my Onc before my first chemo and this lovely lady with very, very very short hair came in, I glanced and thought Wow, good on her, she looked confident and attractive and wanted to tell her that, plus I wanted to ask if it was the Chemo etc.....BUT I was worried that I might have got the wrong end of the stick and I was too nervous to speak with her so I said nothing. I hated to think that she saw me looking away and thought I was thinking something horrid about her. I thought she looked great.
Try it again, smile broadly (not saying you didn't mind you!!) and just be YOU.
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Hi Rachael, well done for having so much courage to go and attend bare headed. Sorry you had this experience. I also wonder (and am coming to think this myself) that like Choski says, people may feel awkward and do not want to pay attention to someone. I also wonder if cancer is becoming more 'accepted' in a way and more common to see people about? I remember a day when you barely saw someone with a scarf...now there are so many of us...I think it is becoming normal to see it, if that is the right way to put it xx
Well done for being on the demo. And for going bareheaded. I sometimes see women who have lost their hair and want to ask if they are on the same journey I am but don't know how to start, but that's in everyday life. What a shame that people couldn't just chat. I have found people on demos friendly and usually we ask each other if we've come far, which is such an easy opener. I hope you have more luck in the future. I have my hair now but wonder if I should have been braver when I didn't, though I think the scarves were a giveaway in any case.
Odd really given the nature of the demonstration as I might have expected more empathy. But people often either look away or stare. It's something they're not used to. Doubtless if more of us in treatment were to go bald-headed it would become less strange. Think of all the bald-headed men you see and no-one bats an eyelid.
Well done for doing what you wanted to do. I wore my wig all the time but I did enjoy the sense of freedom going wig-less in the garden and feeling a breeze on my head. This was summer mind you!
All the best!
I think you are really brave, and maybe people don't know how to react. I've not gone through chemo yet, I will find out Friday my schedule. But I have long hair and I'm cosmetologist too, should be a interesting ride. Take careπ