I haven't even looked at this site for several days, much less post/comment on anything. Just wondering if anyone else has days (maybe weeks?) where you just can't read or think about it for a while? Sometimes it just seems to be overwhelming...plus I follow a couple of blogs about my husband's Alzheimer's Disease. Boy, talk about overwhelming! All combined, there are many times when I just want to get in the car & drive.....and drive......and drive! I feel that I need some different scenery, to do something interesting, to maybe run away from home :D Perhaps going to the park & enjoying today's sunshine would help...but then I really don't even feel like making myself presentable to be seen anywhere but within these four walls. I'm so grateful for a comfortable, warm home but sometimes.....aaarrrggghhhh!!!!

15 Replies

  • As the saying goes you are not alone. I have felt like you at times, I do try and remain positive and thank my lucky stars that I have been very lucky then the doubt takes over and I think my luck must run out sometimes. But we are both still here and we can still wake up and smell the coffee if at times I ,I Don, t know about you there are days I Don, t want to get out of bed to make it, but I eventually do and it usually tastes good .So onward and forward we go because there is no other option I was never any good at reversing anyway. So let's feel secure in our comfortable, warm homes and hope for better days ahead. I send all my best to you

  • Completely get where you are coming from. It goes in waves...some days I am fine and others I am just in despair...x

  • I agree Minniemay but then I think some one is looking for help and advise and I log on anyhow. Yes I do have bad days when everything in the garden isnt rosey. I planned a break with Hubby last week in Malaga. Then I have an older dog who also has heart problems and I must be the only dog owner who took her dog for a check up before she goes on holidays. Honestly the Vet is still looking at me, but I didnt want my daughter to have the responsibility of making a decision while I was gone. Holly is still here on meds and gets senior moments but she is hanging on in there. I have thought at times it would be nice to get off the merry go round and disappear and forget about OC. But then again we must relish and enjoy the good days. The highlight of this year was to be there to see my son getting married and the next one was seeing my grandchild after his first day at school. So we do have reason to be happy as well,

  • Hello Minniemay, you have so much on your plate it's no wonder you want to get in the car and go. I understand completely, it can get to the point of where does it stop. When your days are bad don't fight it, accept it, and say tomorrow will be a better day. I hope you are getting some help.

    Best wishes


  • I dip in and out. If I have posted something then I come back to read the replies, end up crying at the lovely supportive comments so have to leave them for a while and end up responding a week or so later when I gathered myself together again. Sometimes I think I'm going crazy but then next day I am ok. I try to fill my days and not give myself time to think. Exhausting but works for me xo

  • It's good to know others do this too. I'll be okay tomorrow, actually a little better this evening. Just had what I called a "pissy" (excuse) day. No real reason, it just was. Tomorrow will revolve around my husband & his doctor appointment, so I will have to be "out of myself" & concentrate on him.

    I think what has made me feel anxious is that my CT scan still hasn't been scheduled, I've called the imaging center & the oncologist...no response. The heck with it. If it isn't done right, it's in their ball park, not mine (except I'm the one with OV!!).

  • I refer to it as "duck and cover" mode.

    All I can do is bury my head in the sand, give the world at large a very loud "NOPE!" and wait for them to pass.

    There's nothing strange about, or wrong with, needing to take some time out to breath, and get your head together before you add anymore information to it.

  • Minniemay, my sister and I took care of our parents for over 15 years. Our mother had Alzheimer's for 25 years before she passed! Please find some respite care for your husband and GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. Over the years the amount of time it took to look after mom and dad escalated to the point where it was a full time job for two people!! So, do take care of yourself first! Most of the women I've met with OC have had a great deal of stress in their lives leading up to their cancer diagnosis. Find a way to get mental relief and schedule time for yourself like any other responsibility. Tesla

  • All the time. When I signed up on HealthUnlocked, I fit into an alarming number of categories. I had ovarian cancer 2years ago, breast cancer 10 years ago, IBS, a stroke, bipolar disorder. It's nuts, I try not to think of it sometimes, but it's a bit much. Oh, yes, and my ex husband killed himself 9 years ago. I'm still waiting for that pain to recede. No luck so far.

    If I had a place to run to,I think I'd pack up my dog and head out. It's not going to happen. Let me know if something comes up for you. I need ideas. Take care, Nesie 237

  • All understandable. For me the best way forward is distraction - be informed about your cancer but don't obsess about it and get on with doing normal things. Then you find yourself moving from 'I forget about my cancer for two minutes' to 'I forgot about my cancer for an afternoon'. The switching off from it is really, really important. 'Going out' doesn't need to be literally that - it can be taking up a new hobby (something creative like art or writing really helps you escape) or setting yourself some sort of challenge. Good luck everyone - accept the ups and downs, and try to get more ups in when you can.

  • Hi Minniemay. That's one of the things about this disease. We can never forget about it or put it on a back burner. I feel defined by my cancer and would love to be able to forget how I'll I am and just give my poor old brain a rest from the worry!

    I think we just have to do what we can to get through, but you are certainly not alone with your feelings.

    Sending you a hug, because I need to give and receive one too!


  • I visit more when anxious or haven't checked in for a while. I get an email update when someone I follow posts so drop in then. I have I'm going to ignore this days or even weeks but right now with scans and appointments coming up I visit more


  • Hi minniemay, I know exactly how you feel as I am the same . We needed to do a bit of shopping on Monday and all I wanted to do was stay inside my own four walls, my hubby gets me out. But I feel it for him, I feel selfish being like this. I feel like I am in this nightmare and want to wake up and it's all gone away. Also like you, when I do go out its a effort getting myself ready. I did go to my Gp and she gave me tablets for depression. Thinking about you and to let you know that you are not on your own. Take care love Julie xx

  • Hi, I dip in and out too, I think we all do. You do have a lot to contend with though, especially as your husband has Alzheimer's. I do hope you have some help.

    I tend to get anxious in the run up to receiving results. Other than that I just try to keep it on the back burner so to speak. I think once I had accepted that my disease was advanced and in and out of treatment was now going to be my new norm, I gained peace. On a day to day basis I tend not to think about it. It does get to me a bit though when I learn of the passing of another one of our ladies.

    Like harpist said, try a new hobby, I have learned to crochet, make jewellery, patchwork and paint. I can lose myself for hours with painting and I can see improvement in my efforts. YouTube is a great source for tutorials.

    Take care. Ann xx

  • Yes i often feel like that too and can't always read and reply to all the posts, I take my hat off to those who do. It is good that there are so many things done to fundraise for cancer but sometimes I also have to switch radio or tv channels when the word seems to be everywhere!

    So I think you're completely normal in how you feel. There are days when I do anything not to think about it and other days when it's ok to do so and there's not always any simple explanation why!

    Hope you are feeling ok today and there is something to make you smile. 😊

    Madeline x

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