Gutted!!

Had my last chemo for stage 4 PPC Feb 2015 my last Avastin Dec 2015. Slight rise in ca125 in Feb 2016 monitored closely and today I had the results from my last scan - I have cancer in both lungs with fluid, back on chemo early next week so so so gutted. Just got my life fully back on track i feel really great (slight twinge on the rightside the last 2 weeks) and look well as just back from a 10 day break in Cyprus.

I guess this never gets any easier having to tell family and friends it's back, I'm just so gutted 😣

35 Replies

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  • I'm so sorry to hear this. I just hope you are able to do as well fighting it as you did last time. All the best!

  • Thank you I will give it my all just need to get over feeling sorry for myself xx

  • I just wanted you to know I've read your post and send you big virtual hugs and as much positivity as I can, I'm sorry there's nothing else I can do or say. You've been through a lot and it must be such a bugger to have this news. You will, I'm sure, gird your loins as the saying goes and face this with determination and strength and if at times it all seems too hard you will still face it. Your family will be upset for you and not at you. It at times we do try to shield our loved ones don't we? We are all here for you too, in writing and spirit, if not in person

    Take care and lots of love going your way

    Clare xx

  • Thank you so much Clare xx

  • I feel so sorry to hear your news. Sending you hugs and tons of positivity.

    Judy xx

  • Thank you xx

  • Thinking of you Emalou!

    Dx

  • Virtual hugs xxxx

  • Sending you a big hug, Emalou xxx

  • Emalou71, this is soul crushing news. My heart cries for the disappointment of feeling "OK" yet needing MORE treatment. Chemo can do some amazing things. Look how far it got you initially!!! There are new drugs and new procedures. Keep fighting!!! Do not let this extinguish your sparkle!! You are still here! Tesla

  • Sending you good wishes that you get it sorted soon, it's a B of a desease but you will overcome. X

  • Sorry to hear that and yes, dreadful having to tell people and awful that it's back. What are they suggesting for you? I'm glad you got a holiday first. Mine came back with two small spots on my on my liver. I rang my daughters as soon as I got home but haven't told them about the liver patches yet. I'll save that for when I'm with them. I have seen them but with small inquisitive ears constantly present.

  • I'm sorry you are dealing with this also 😓. Mine has come back in both lungs had a niggle in my right side just before I left for holiday I knew my scan was booked for the day after I got back so didn't allow myself to worry but I think I knew it was back as my ca125 has steadily risen over the last 4 months so knew it was only a matter of time but it still floored me I did not expect it to be in my lungs. Because I run and am very active I wrongly assumed it would never get to the lungs stupid eh 😳

    I've left family and freinds know and a few work freinds feeling a bit sorry for myself but otherwise in a good place to get chemod again I'm having Caelyx and start kicking its butt again...

    I'm wishing you well xx

  • I'm having caelyx too, started last Thursday and it's not bad at all. I phoned my brother to tell him last night and I'm glad I did as he had an exaggerated story from my sister so I was able to reassure him.

  • So, so sorry to hear this Emalou - thinking of you and sending you "white light" .

    Juliet x

  • Thank you xx

  • Sorry to hear your news Emalou. it's bad enough finding out about a recurrence yourself without the telling family and friends thing. Put your seat belt on, get back on the wheel, you've done it before, you can do it again. Best of luck - Vicki x

  • Thank you I Feel better today 😊 Family and freinds told, getting over the I'm feeling sorry for myself emotion and getting ready for the treatment xx

  • I'm so sorry to read this but sending you much strength & ((hugs)). I'm glad you've had a wonderful 10 day break in the sunshine (& it's glorious in the UK at the mo) so draw on all those positives when you can. It's ok to feel sorry for yourself too...cancer is not fair :( xx

  • So sorry to hear, sending virtual hugs xxx

    Penny

  • Prayers for Gods love and healing miracles!! Stay strong. So sorry you have to go through this. Positive vibes your way, as well! 🙏🏼❤️

  • Sorry to read your post, we must keep fighting this horrible disease, you've done so well, and I wish you well with your treatment xxx

  • Thank you xx

  • I am so sorry to read your news. It's such an awful shock, isn't it? You think that you've made it through all the first treatment and are out the other side, then WHAM it hits you again. I'm in a similar position to you, in that my cancer has returned in the peritoneum. But you're feeling great, I'm feeling great. That has to be good in itself because we can face the chemo again from a position of good health. I've also found it difficult to tell people (in fact I've avoided the wider group of friends so far) but I'm just waiting for the "But you look so well..." comments to flood in again! We must simply be gracious, smile and get on with it. Wishing you all the best x

  • Oh minard that's just it, I got back off hols Wednesday last week all tanned looking (slightly conceited) and feeling great even with the additional holiday weight 😜 My hair is finally grown back to its usual style and I was in a wonderful place with life...

    Get to work Monday afternoon to hear the wow great tan, look at you so healthy, etc etc didn't know what to do so I just kept saying thanks was a great holiday but inside crying I gave cancer in my lungs!!

    I'm hoping the feeling of being well will help me thru this next round of treatment and everyone has been great, glad the telling people is over it's awful.

    I'm so sorry your dealing with it again, have you started treatment yet?

    Xxx

  • From a fellow PPC sufferer I'm sending huge hugs and wish you all the very best withing your new challege x

  • I'm so sorry to read your news, I know there's no words that can really make it better as all you want to hear is there's no evidence of disease and when you feel well you convince yourself the scan will be good. This is one of the cruellest and shittiest things about this disease. I got the same news back in September and again in April and I think it definitely is OK to feel sorry for yourself ! But our survival instinct is incredible and we somehow get our heads round it, goodness knows how, and find the strength to get on with the next step once the medics have a plan.

    As for telling people, yes that is hard and I don't find it gets any easier. Some people seem to know virtually nothing about cancer, let alone this type, and seem utterly amazed that it could have come back after surgery and chemo. Sometimes their comments can be very tactless or they are just lost for words. I've told my wider group of friends less as time goes on and haven't told everyone about my recurrence. I know that may not be ultimately the best policy but it is so exhausting answering the endless questions and getting the 'worried sympathetic' looks that it makes day to day life easier for now. You have to do what's best for you, not what you think others need or 'have a right' to know - obviously apart from your close ones. Hope you get a clear plan of action soon, sending you hugs

    Madeline xx

  • Thank you Madeline, I've let most people know now so it's done! I'm sorry you are dealing with it all again and in such a short time frame this whole business is so crapologies 😣 but you are so right somehow we manage to get a clear head and get on with it...

    I hope your ok xxx

  • Wishing you strength to deal with this. Sent with love and hugs

    Maureen

  • Sorry to read this. Sending love and hugs your way xo

  • I'm sorry to read this Emalou. Have you had the fluid drained yet? You have beaten this before and you will again.

    All the very best to you,

    Debs xxx

  • Hi Debs no my onc didn't mention draining I just start chemo on Tuesday, i feel like I have pressure on my right side but not painful.

    Xxx

  • If there is fluid in the pleural cavaties, the chemo should dry it out quickly. Xx

  • Dear Emalou

    Have just read your post and I just want to wish you all the best for the future . You will get the strength you had before to deal,with it. I will follow your progress as we may be fighting this at the same time. My PPC is back in my lymph nodes and I will get my scan results next Thu which will determine when treatment starts. I know what you mean being told you are looking great. My radiographer told me I looked great on tue ! Take care

    XXX

  • Oh MollyO i'm really sorry to hear that 😣 it's all just pants isn't it. Xxx

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