So Sad

Hi Ladies.I was in the waiting to see my oncologist the other day and chatting to a lady next to me who is also on the same drug.We were having a little giggle with the liason nurse.Then this girl in her 30s moves from her seat to sit right in front of us.

There were tears rolling down her face,she apologised for listening and asked did she hear correctly that we were Ovarian Cancer,I said yes.She was diagnosed in Jan,had radical surgery and was being sent to Cork Hospital for medical oncology,she had to travel a good distance and she had had her surgery in another county.

Her husband joined us and he was unloading to our husbands.The couple were so lost,so dispondant,so panicked,so frightened.She could barely speak with the tears running down her face.I gave her names of Organisations that could help her,Arc House,Ovacare,Irish Cancer society.I also told her to speak to her G.P that her G.P is her primary carerer and he should arrange all the support both of them will require.

I felt so sad to think,that medical staff in another hospital had left this couple out their door with no further support,no information nothing!!!! My heart broke for her and her husband.I told a nurse how upset she was but because the clinic was so busy the nurse couldn't help.I fell there should be an office in the oncology unit where there is a counsellor based.While I was being weighed my husband gave her my phone number,she rang me last night very upset and panicking.I listened to her fears tried to comfort her and again asked her to contact organisations that are qualified to deal with the upset a diagnosis can cause.

7 Replies

  • Ah the poor girl Annie H, it was kind of you to give her all the necessary information and your phone number, It is devastating when they are just told come to Cork!!! One of my chemo friends was from up the country a bit, and for some reason would not use her local support group nor would she go to Arc when coming for treatment. I am sure the girls will look after her in the South if she goes there for treatment, There is a daffodil centre near the main entrance to CUH just below the reception. Isnt it a pure shame that there isnt anyone available in the Gynae area and perhaps we should make this an issue. There is a group Circle of Friends in Cahir Co Tipp and Solas in Waterford. I am not fishing for information just letting you know in case this might help.

  • Hi annieHi, what a wonderful and thoughtful woman you are I don't think I could do what you did. It must be very difficult for foreign nationals with limited english to express themselves but listening to you that lady knew she had found an answer to her prayers someone to listen to her and offer advise. Well done to you and your husband. Kittie

  • You did such a wonderful thing to share and talk with this lost lady. The trouble is while she DOES need help you must be careful yourself not to take it on yourself if that makes sense.

    It's disgraceful that ladies are left in so much fear and alone.

    I've shared with some of my oncologists in the past about OvaCome etc in the hope that they recommend this forum to any other ovarian cancer patients. I was lucky in that it was a random conversation last April before chemo started that my CNS at the time mentioned OvaCome to me.

    Trouble is we don't know who is having chemo for what do we ?

    Clare xx

  • I know Clare.Ive given her as much contact info as possible.As you said rightly I have to be careful not to give too much of myself.It became a phone call everyday and at least 30 mins talking.

  • There is a great booklet published by Target Ovarian Cancer called 'What Happens Next?' and additionally a colaberative publication specifically for younger women (TOC, Ovacome, Ask Eve, Ovarian Cancer Action). You can download both from Target's website and also order free paper copies from them and for the Younder Women's Guide from the other charities. Lots of signposting, support, advice and input from women previously diagnosed.


  • Thanks S. x

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