What do you wish you knew when you were pregnant?

[Vesa]

Welcome to the first question in this series!

Today we want to know what is the one thing that you wish you knew when you or your partner, was pregnant?

Please share your thoughts by replying below. We’re looking forward to hearing from you.

[JogOffc25k]

I wish I knew that my baby might not feed straight away and my like might not come through immediately. I had to really work to get my milk through and it took several days while my baby was not feeding, you'd think I was the only person this had ever happened to and instead of giving my baby some formula (which I did with my second) the hospital wouldn't let me leave and we both got more and more tired and stressed.

[Krustyc2]

I wish I knew how lonely maternity leave could be and made more effort to make new friends with pregnant people due around the same time as me.

[Hidden]

I wish I'd known to relax more during the pregnancy. My baby was born with high levels of adrenaline which cross the placenta and she was very unsettled and anxious throughout life.

[Mum35]

That I could still feel the contractions even with an epidural but no pain and helped me get back in control to push effectively.

[RustyM]

I wish I knew that gas and air made me sound like darth vader! In all seriousness, the only thing I wish I had known was how PND can kick in at any time. That irrational thoughts, exhaustion, anxiety, insecurity was normal. But all the books, leaflets etc... can only guide you but each experience is so different and unique. My other half became a walking dad, exhausted, hungry and worried. I wish I had known that after they induced me early, diabetic, that my little boy would be taken away from me to go to NICU just in case. It was a tough time but the staff were lovely, I just felt like I had let everyone down. I was left on the mother's ward hearing babies cry, watching mothers tend to thier babies while my son was in NICU. Dark times, as I cradled him while he was attached to monitors and a nasal feed. He looked so tiny and helpless. I'm now proud to say I've got over the worst, my son is a very happy, healthy and beautiful soon to be 3 year old. X

[Tudorkat]

I wish I had known just how tough it can be for both mother and baby to get started with breastfeeding. It did NOT come naturally to either of us.

I also wish that there had been more information about the things that might happen if it wasn't quite all according to plan...there is so much info trying not to scare new mums but that means (with the exception of labour problems) that you are completely in the scary unknown at a very vulnerable time if you have 3rd degree tears / a very premature baby / a retained placenta / a baby who needs a bilibed due to jaundice.

Also, being told the rules of maternity ward on being admitted would have been good rather than being told off for walking in corridor holding baby (apparently breaking a rule.)

[Cringlecat]

I wish I had known about tongue tie and how it would affect my baby's ability to feed. I wish I'd lived in an area where it could be snipped without a 2 hour drive. I also wish I'd known that being signed off work unfit pregnant and so at home bored was not a good reason to start doing more than half of the household chores. I never got the balance back but then again my ex husband turned out to be a misogynistic bully who refused to do his fair share of parenting.

[Chex]

I wish I had known with my first pregnancy that I wasn’t going to need half the stuff I had bought for the baby! I had read so many articles about needing this & needing that, & how other things were a ‘must have’ gadget, that I ended up stretching myself too far trying to make sure thing were ‘perfect’ before the birth.

At birth, my son was too big for all the beautiful first size clothes I had for him, so they were all wasted to start with.

None of the fancy stuff was really needed. As long as I had enough clothes to be able to change him & keep him clean & warm, & a safe place to sleep, a steriliser & bottles for when I could no longer breast feed, & along with a safe pram to be able to take him out, that was all that was really needed.

I just stuck to the basics with subsequent pregnancies, & was far more relaxed. I do think that advertisers put too much pressure on new mums-to-be, who are striving make things ‘perfect’ for when their baby is born.

[SVBO]

I wish I knew about complications with a premature babies, I would have been calmer, took good care of myself, I wouldn’t have travel by plane while 6 month pregnant and took things easier...

[norfolkgeorge]

It might sound stupid but honestly I can't think of anything. There is so much information from books, websites, healthcare workers, family etc that I don't think anything about pregnancy came as a particular surprise (to me at least, my wife might disagree).

[Pink0609]

I wish I had believed that sometimes babies don't listen to the birth plan you make!

[Jesikac1]

That milk didn't come through asap and that things never go to plan.

[Baby_Brinkley]

In my 1st pregnancy things didn't go to plan. My labour was pretty quick & I gave birth within 2 hours of being admitted. The midwives kept telling me to stay at home as it would be ages. I wish I had trusted my gut instinct & insisted on being there earlier as it was a mad panic when I arrived & my whole body went into shock afterwards. I also wasn't aware of the injection to deliver the placenta quicker. I obviously missed that bit in the books so it came as a surprise when they asked me! I also don't think you need half as much stuff as the books & magazines suggest.

[Hbazzle]

I had to take pain medications during my last pregnancy which meant I had to stay in hospital 4 days after the birth. Despite being told the drugs would have no effect by both doctors and my consultants. So I wish I had researched medications myself!

[Norfolkboy]

I guess for me I wished I had known that despite thinking I was well prepared nothing can really prepare you for whats to come. Also agree you don't need half what you think you do!

[Hunstanton]

As a father to be for the first time, it was very difficult to feel involved during the pregnancy and after the birth, you feel very left out and alone.

[Milkymoo]

I wished id have known that after a few months of giving birth I would start losing the hair my body had held onto during pregnancy. I was so scared sitting in the bath with handfuls of hair after washing my hair. Luckily my HV told me why at the next meeting it was normal.

[Pip70]

Not everything always goes to plan be prepared to adapt and compromise!