Hi all I've just joined as the lockdown has made me more anxious than normal and my OCD habits worse. I'd really like to confront them to put them back in their place or get rid completely and any advice on how I do that would be great.
Here's a good example. I've been going on country walks with my wife and we pick up litter as we go if there is an obvious tin can or something we can just put in our rucksack. No problem with that but the problem is if I decide not to pick something up I get remorse and that spoils the rest of the walk and I even start planning on doing the same walk again without my wife knowing so that I can retrieve it! So I have an over developed sense of duty to keep paths free of litter for everyone to enjoy and think I have let people down by leaving something which will catch their eye and in a tiny way spoil their enjoyment of the place. It's the same if I see a sharp stone or piece of wood in the path I have to move it in case Someone trips or I get anxiety that I left that branch in the path and someone could trip over and hurt themselves. I'm doing these things more and more to stop anxiety of leaving things but it is spoiling my walks with should be good mindfulness time. I've been trained to do CBT so any suggestions on how I can view this would be greatly appreciated. Going along with it to avoid short term anxiety is just making it worse.
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ScouterE
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Sense of duty is a difficult one to remove but you have to start by ignoring small things, such as sharp stones etc. There were there before you and nobody got injured.
But you need to start somewhere and if you incur anxiety in not doing you duty, well be it, you really have to let go.
Next you can leave some litter left around the place. for the time being. Its more important that YOU get better and have a reasonable sense of duty and not a level that causes anxiety. Litter must take second place in your situation.
Slowly but surely you will feel relieved that you managed to let go, and feel a new strength that will hep you go forward. The fear of guilt will reduce gradually and you will have a reasonable control on what litter to throw away and what to leave behind - eventually you may have total control.
OK its easier said than done but you must take the first small step, and another. The road back from hell is a lot of small steps. ,-) (but doable)
Having OCD makes us hyper-vigilant in case we cause harm, either deliberately or accidentally. But other people have responsibilities too, and that includes taking care not to fall on a sharp stone or trip over a piece of wood. It's something that you are not responsible for!
Additionally, it is everyone's responsibility to keep our towns and the countryside free of litter. That means not dropping it in the first place, or picking up any you accidentally drop. It's a pity that some people are so careless, but that doesn't mean you have to go around chasing after them and cleaning up after them!
A trick or tip I've been taught is to put something out of my mind but to allow myself say ten minutes' worry later on in the day. This could work for you like this: say on a walk in the country you notice a tin can. Leave it alone and don't pick it up. Put it out of your mind for the moment, and tell yourself that you can worry about it for ten minutes at half past four or whenever suits you. Then half past four comes and goes and you've forgotten all about it.
Another tip is to think of the anxiety as being like clouds overhead, or leaves on a stream, or a billowing ocean wave. Allow the anxiety to gather overhead, or float in front of you or swell to its biggest. But after a bit the clouds will float by and disperse, the leaves will float past and the wave will break on the shore.
These are techniques I use a lot and they have helped me.
I have to say that you are clearly a decent person with a strong sense of public duty! That's to be encouraged and it's a pity more people are not like you! But remember that you have rights as well, and that includes the right to a country walk with your wife without cleaning up everyone else's litter!
Responsibility OCD is a nightmare, I empathise. The only thing I can say is you can’t save everyone no matter how much you want to. It’s hard but you have to learn to let the anxiety ride it’s course... it’s not easy but it’s the kindest way for you. I wish you well x
I'm pleased to report that having taken advice from Max, Sallyskins and FIFI75 I seem to have got the litter and sharp objects issues resolved and put in their proper place. I still pick up litter from the footpaths but only when I want to (actually there's an impossible amount around at the moment in some places) and the sharp objects are mostly ignored. I can enjoy a walk without focussing on litter and potential danger! So thanks guys!
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