People around you are not happy only when they smile, this false assumption if you are neurotic (ocd, depression, anxiety etc) can lead you into huge misunderstandings and even bigger confusion.
People around you are not happy only when they... - OCD Support
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People around you are not happy only when they smile
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diomedes
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Hi, this is something I really struggle with - if I’ve got what you’re saying right?
I feel so responsible for keeping everyone ‘happy’ , I run myself ragged trying to be all things to all people!
If they’re not smiley and happy I automatically think I must have said or done something wrong - and this isn’t because as some advice books put it ‘I think I’m the centre of everyone’s universe,’ not at all - nowhere near!!! It’s because I have such a low opinion of myself that I just assume I must have done something because as hard as I try I’m still useless and get everything wrong!
But then I make things worse by asking what the matter is and they get offended as they think I’m saying they’ve been moody etc. But I’n just desperately trying to make sure they aren’t angry with me and I haven’t offended them in some way!!!
Thanks for reading my rant!
Or you could misinterpret the absence of smile in e.g. taxi drivers and believe that taxi drivers are very unhappy, I will never leave myself into this occupation, or every parent is unhappy so I must not get into family stuff etc
I do that a lot! If someone's a bit off at work, rather than thinking they've got something on their mind or have thrown life stresses, I think that it is something to do with me and I need to fix it. I go around 'fixing' everyone's moods and trying to sort things out so that it is all clean and nice in the psychological department. I have aways felt responsible for the well-being of those around me. It is exhausting. It in't in my case because I think I am awful it simply has always felt like it was my job to make sure people are OK. But it isn't! and I don't want that job! Trying to let go. Allow people to just be in their thing.
Hi
Oh so many of the things you’ve written explain me too! I’d never thought of it that way before but what you said about ‘fixing people’s moods so that it’s all nice and clean in the psychological department’ that’s exactly what it is! I’d not thought of it like that before, but it’s a need to get everything ok and perfect including what’s going on with everyone else!
Also what you said about it always having been your job to make sure people are ok, that’s how I’ve always felt, ever since being really little. So that’s why if someone isn’t, I feel I must be useless as not doing my job properly 😩.
Yes it is soooo exhausting and I can’t go on like this I’m driving myself crazy but I don’t know how to stop it!!!
Thank you for your reply it’s good to know I’m not the only one!
Thanks
Sarah xx
Hey there, Yes!! It is good to know we are not the only ones. Like you I felt this since I was little. I can completely relate to that thing you wrote about needing to make it perfect. This is the thing - my house is quite messy at times, but I need everything to be neat in my mind. Nothing out of place. A tidy mind. This has sometimes meant having to get things out by saying them even though it was at the time unhelpful and not really the right thing to do. I had to say things because I felt that if I didn't they were making things unclean in my head. I guess this ties in to confession OCD which I had as a child. Interesting how it all works.
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