I know this is probably not the most professional way of reaching out , but my family don’t have a clue what to do.
My little brother (13) is suffering terribly - he’s been to CAHMS who said they can’t really help him right now and the medication will only MAYBE start to help in 4 weeks.
A and E only referred him back to CAHMS & in the meantime my little brothers hands are literally falling apart ( bleeding from cleaning , skin starting to be bleached) etc . He’s the most loving caring little boy , until the hand washing routine or showering routine come in to play.
We have begged the hospitals , GP, CAHMS and everyone in between to help us .
Has anyone got any advice or techniques we can’t try to just offer support that this can get better.
Thankyou - from one loving big sister who’s doing an awful job! X
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Lucy_x
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I'm so sorry to hear your brother is not getting the help and support he most clearly needs.
I have a daughter (27) who has contamination OCD and it's heart breaking to see her continually wash through fear of contamination.
Ask the GP about creams to help stop his hands becoming so sore and ask about counselling, this would surely be a step in the right direction.
I'm sorry I can't offer any real solutions for you, everyone's OCD differs from person to person.
Maybe If you can talk to him about what his triggers are then perhaps make small changes so he doesn't feel quite so anxious. Please don't make the same mistake as I made by giving into every demand. This just feeds the OCD and helps no one.
Please keep strong for your brother, he's very lucky to have such a caring and loving sister xx
Thankyou for your reply !!! He has been given some cream to help with the cuts as well as steroid cream, although it’s not even touching it anymore !!
He was taken to a and e on Monday night and they gave him some more cream and got an appointment fast tracked to the Friday. Yesterday he had that appointment and got told that they don’t think CBT therapy will help and also he’s not in catchment for that CAHMS so we have to start the process all over again.
We have tried making the house a complete non germ zone ( on the bright side I’ve never been so clean) we have hand sanitiser , anti bac spray , cleaning worktops and bathroom every day etc , but none of the anxiety is reduced .
We honestly have no idea where to go from here and what techniques to try and the whole family is in turmoil with not knowing what to do Xx
CAMHS funding is so low that though they try to do their best they are stretched so thin that they have to leave many young people untreated.
That doesn't help you, of course. And not getting proper treatment for him is just going to cause him more problems, as OCD doesn't often go away untreated.
Giving in to his OCD is only going to feed it. Having said that, you are going to have to make concessions, allowances etc or he will become even more stressed. It's quite a narrow line to have to observe, not causing him undue stress, and not feeding the OCD more that necessary.
Medication isn't always prescribed to children for good reason, but sertraline and other SSRIs are for children with OCD. They do take a few weeks before the patient feels the effects, but they make a huge difference to many people. I'm a bit concerned about steroid lotions. They shouldn't be used long term, as they can thin the skin and cause more damage.
I don't know of any books that deal exclusively with OCD in young people, but there is a chapter on dealing with a child with OCD in Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, in the Overcoming range of self help books. There is a lot of useful stuff in the main body of the book as well.
I'm sure he is a loving and caring little boy, and he certainly doesn't deserve to suffer like this. It is shocking that you all have been abandoned by the services that are supposed to help him. Does he still go to school? If so, make sure the school know as much as possible and how to treat him sympathetically.
I do feel for you. Having OCD myself I know the demands that it puts on family and friends. It must be so painful for you to have to watch him suffer.
Thankyou for your reply. We understand completely about finding for CAHMS and similar associations , selfishly , it just doesn’t help us. I think OCD is perhaps something that isn’t as well understood as other mental health issues? And is still a slight taboo ?
We have tried watching him wash his hands , not watching , taking him away, try taking his mind off, having colour coded sponges for different areas , wearing rubber gloves at times . And the list goes on. Is any of it probably right ? No probably not but we’re trying our best. My mum is a single mum and has to work & im starting uni myself in September so we’re trying to create a plan and some sort of structure as these things can’t Be put off and it sounds awful , but it’s so demanding .
He is at school , though this has escalated HUGELY in the summer holidays, we’re honestly not sure if he’ll be able to attend school come September as the whole world ends if someone coughs and doesn’t sanitize their hands.
Thankyou again for your reply , what a horrible thing OCD is xx
It certainly is horrible. I don't suppose it helps to know that germs are everywhere, the vast majority of them are harmless or beneficial to us, that they reappear after washing them off your hands, and actually washing off the good ones can leave the field clear for bad ones to come in.
Of course the advertising industry doesn't help by insisting that unless we keep everything as germ free as possible we are exposing everyone else, particularly children, to all sorts of evil bugs.
It must put huge pressure on you and your mum. Try not to let it affect your studies or your social life when you go off to university. It might be worth using that as a bargaining chip with CAMHS and the NHS, that you can't be around to support them. Stretched as they are, your family does need the help, and fobbing you off saying that he doesn't fall into the right catchment area is just not acceptable.
It sounds as though school has a stabilizing effect on him, so if possible ensure he starts school again when the new term begins. It's significant that his OCD has got worse over the holidays, as OCD likes to jump in when you haven't enough other things to keep you busy. Apart from that, there would be the problem for your mum of childcare, and she needs to earn a living and I'm sure get out of the house.
Do get some books about OCD . It still isn't understood very well, you're right, and this may be one reason CAMHS are so reluctant to get involved. It's possible they just don't have enough expertise.
It truly is a horrible disease. It's like a lying, manipulative false friend, and the more you give in the more it demands.
Do have fun at university. Let them know your home situation, so you have support for yourself as well.
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