Hi
My son has had OCD for about 7 years now and has been well for the past 3. He lives overseas with his wife and is currently in crisis. He is accessing cbt and has increased his meds but he is asking me to visit. I usually see him once every 3 months; the most recent being 4 weeks ago. My dilemma is if I visit earlier will it reinforce the negative thoughts thus making the ocd worse or will it be worse not to visit? Help please
It’s hard to answer your question, but what thoughts do you think it would reinforce?
Personally, I don’t see why you going to support him would make the situation worse, unless there is something specific in his OCD thoughts and compulsions?
Previously when he was in therapy I was advised not to respond to his request so this time I feel really conflicted. I want to support him but I’m worried he will interpret my support as believing he is infected and going to die.
It’s a really difficult situation for you to be in.
If you do decide to go, then it sounds like you need to be really clear to him, even before you leave, why you are coming and what it is you are supporting with - to try and alleviate any misinterpretation.
If you don’t go, you know it is in his best interests and it sounds like he has been through this before and come out the other side ok. So you need to keep reminding yourself of that - even though he may not feel like he is going to be ok, you know that he is and you staying away isn’t causing him any long term harm.
Thank you. That is really supportive
From my experience, also with an adult son but he still lives with me, OCD gets stronger if you feed it with reassurance. If his OCD is health related then rushing to him on an unscheduled visit will most likely strengthen the obsession. You will probably both have been advised to challenge your behaviours, it will be really hard to do - but, if you can get through it, the grip of the OCD will be weakened because you can reflect back and see that the feared things didn't actually happen. I absolutely understand your conflict - it is just as hard for you as it is for him - hope you are taking care of yourself aswell.
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