Intrusive Thoughts Destroying My Life

Hey, everyone, I joined this site a while back to deal with my OCD but, forgot to use it.

Let me give you my story. Ever since I was about 13 years old (or 12 maybe) I have suffered severely with OCD I used to think they were just little habits or worries that everyone got, turns out not. It was in year 7 (12-13 year olds in school in the UK) when I first start developing compulsions to circle my shoulder joint over and over again until it felt right. Until it felt perfect. All my time throughout I managed to tackle and defeat physical compulsions howver, I've tried over and over and over and over and over again to change my intrusive thoughts and they just DONT go away. Everything in my life is to blame or has went wrong because I keep going in circles in my own damn head. I'm 17 now, badly wanting friends let alone a girlfriend, I want to be able to write songs, stories I get my family life straightened out. Sorry if their are many spelling mistakes in this post but I"m not going over to check because this post will take ages to type. My intrusive thought is that I'm nothing thinking properly, like for some reason I think I have to think a specific way. My thoughts get jumbled up in my head like, should it even be called OCD should I acknowledge it as a disorder, am I just lazy and that's why I have it? Now I can't tell the difference between fiction and reality. I need help or advice please.

3 Replies

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  • Hi there, sorry to hear you are struggling, I also have intrusive thoughts OCD and know the struggles, but things will get better, you need to take the first step to acknowledge it and know it is a disorder and not that you are lazy at all, it took me a while but once there I was able to get the help I needed. I would highly recommend visiting your doctor to be referred to have some CBT sessions (cognitive behavioural therapy) it changed my life. My therapist taught me that the thoughts are just that, thoughts and each time I had a thought I would tell myself 'this is thought, not fact' it's amazing how by just saying that to myself and doing other exercises my therapist taught me made me see these thoughts in a different way and now I very rarely have any intrusive thoughts and when I do I just repeat the exercises my therapist gave me.

    Sorry to waffle on but I want you to know you aren't alone, there is support and help out there and by getting it and acknowledging your condition, it can really change your life.

  • No, it isn't that you are lazy. OCD is a real condition and it does sound as though you have it! The problem is that OCD takes up so much energy that you feel too tired and disspirited to do other things that you would like to do. It can also be lonely, as it is difficult to explain to other people, and it can stop you socializing and doing things with other people. I don't know if there is support at your school or college but do approach them if there is. Also get help from the GP, who should be able to prescribe antidepressants and refer you for CBT. OCD is horrible in that it takes over your thoughts and bullies you and even tries to control how you think! Do get help and it should enable you to clear your head a bit, and get your thoughts in some kind of order. Then perhaps you'll be in a better position start doing the things you want to do, which in its turn will help alleviate your condition.

  • Believe me.There are more people than you realise with the same type problem as yourself.First stop is parents then your GP.never give up.you will win.

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