Some may have seen this old clip, some may not, either way it will put a smile on your face 
its timeless...
thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/n...
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If you are feeling down ....: Some may have seen this... - NRAS
If you are feeling down ....
Written by
PeteC
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36 Replies
•
Hi Pete, yes it does work. Have seen it before but it always brings a smile to my face. Hope you are ok. LavendarLady x
This is perfect - just what I needed!
thank you!
I do hope I didn't offend you
Pen
ha ha thats brilliant !!!
Nice pic lol.. think it is a ground squirrel and the pic looks like the Rockies canada?. I went for a trip of a lifetime before being diagnosed and saw one of them and other wildlife it is a beautiful country x
hehe
and just to add to that
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. 'My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? 'Well, 'says the vet, 'let's have a look at him' so he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says ' I'm going to have to put him down. 'What? Because he's cross-eyed?' No, because he's really heavy'
sorry, last one
I went to the doctors with a jelly stuck in one ear and custard in the other. The doctor asked, 'what seems to be the problem?' I said 'you have to speak up, I'm a trifle deaf.'
Hehehe. takes a good joke to make me laugh, both did
last one I promise but it's my favourite, had to find it......
Two mexicans are stuck in he desert,wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden…….. “Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon I ahm sure of eet.” “Si, Luis eet smells like bacon to meee”.
So with renewed strength, they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon. There’s raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there’s fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon……every imaginable kind of cured pig meat. “Pepe, Pepe we ees saved! Eet is a Bacon Tree!” “Luis, are you sure ees not a meerage?”We ees in the desert don’t forget.” “Pepe when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smeell like bacon…..ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree”.
And with that ……. Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 feet, with Pepe close behind, when all of a sudden a machine gun opens up and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.
“Pepe….go back man, you was right….ees not a bacon tree.” “Luis, Luis, mi amigo…….what ees it?” “Pepe……ees not a bacon tree…… ees
ees
ees
ees
ees
ees
ees a HAM BUSH!.”
I only came on tonight to see if I should have told the dentist what meds I'm on I'll go find a mars bar and watch big bro now, leave your blog alone!
• in reply to
really funny (we blogged on at the same time and i didn't see this one before i wrote below.) Laughed my head off at your last one.
Yeah you should have told the dentist - i forgot for a good few months as well - they should have it on your record.
Enjoy your mars bar - i am having a wild lettuce tea - in the absence of alcohol it has, lets say quite mellowing effects.
Gina_K• in reply to
Love that joke!
Pete good one hadn't saw that one before. Wilby, really, well i laughed at the dog one. Love silly jokes like that - and i can't resist adding this one -
why do owls not make love in the rain
cos its too wet to woo
AND this one too
a mushroom walked into the bar, the barman said "don't serve your kind in here" the mushroom replied "aww why now sure i am a "fun guy"
Get it!!!
PeteC• in reply to
oy sneaky..laughed last night at your last post, was still smilng on bus this morning when it sprang to mind..
Ok, heres my one of my jokes...cough cough
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM ." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up."
• in reply to
love the owl one!
like the sound of your lettuce tea! or is it 'lettuce'?????lol
I wouldn't mind your recipe for that, would you mind PMing me with it ?(if it is indeed lettuce!!!)
Its 4 in the morning and i'm sitting here laughing,what a way to start a day. Keep them coming.
Thanks,
sylvia.
Like mads, I would totally do that to! (the note bit) anymore anyone?
Sylvia, sure you have a few there somewhere....
see what you've started Pete
sorry (again) mads, just googled your lettuce tea, my apologies you really did mean tea didn't you!!!
but the site did say this.....''Wild lettuce is a sedative, and as such, it should come as no surprise that when people drink the tea, they don’t have much sexual desire''......... going to get some for my husband then lol
• in reply to
like your icon thing wilby - didn't realise that about the tea so now my dilemma what should i do.....love that lettuce tea nearly as much as the steroids. My decision has been made -
The people in this world show far too much sexual desire. For the sake of mankind i will continue drinking my tea
love the jokes xx
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant, and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.
"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy you dessert to make it up to you."
They enjoy a wonderful dessert together, and afterwards, the woman invites him to the theater followed by drinks. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place and stay for breakfast the next morning.
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed! Everything has been incredible! "You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"
"No," she replies, "you just happened to catch my eye."
Pete
I can only retaliate by posting an even better joke......
What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.
PeteC• in reply to
Mads
I can only retaliate by posting an even better joke ...
What did he say after he created woman?
Guess I was wrong! ehhe
• in reply toPeteC
and this is not a joke this is true
Why did God create man before woman?
Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.
PeteC• in reply to
So, God made Adam. Adam was walking around one day and realised that he was lonely, so he asked God for a companion. God said, "I can make a woman for you. She will cook and clean and do everything you ask her to. She will wait on you hand and foot. She will be so beautiful that you won't be able to take your eyes off of her. It's gonna cost you an arm and a leg, though."
Adam said, "Well, what can I get for a rib?"
I smirked a little but i think my jokes were better, they were based in reality.
and I also know why little boys whine - they are practising to be men!
PeteC• in reply to
Its good to smirk
Last one, off out ....
1. It’s important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It’s important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.
3. It’s important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn’t lie to you.
4. It’s important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It’s very, very important that these four women do not know each other
Great Jokes,
hello to all, yes it's me I'm back have been in hospital for weeks, now just trying to recuperate, RA flaring like mad CRP 125, i'm also anemic anyone have any good hints and tips for natural iron that doesn't involve 1kg Broccoli a day Lol
xTxx
• in reply toTricia-P
Laughter and lettuce tea. What more do we need? Anything but broccoli! LOL.
Anyway, to answer the iron question, you can get sachets of something called Spatone from health stores. Its not cheap but it's strong.It tastes a bit " rusty " so I put some blackcurrant cordial in it. I read somewhere that we need Vit C to help Iron to work better. Hope that helps.
I really laughed at this joke the other day, even though it's a man's idea of humour. "why is a woman's work never done?" "because she doesn't get up early enough!"
My fav of all time when summing up the battle of the sexes ;(
Old couple in their 90's being interviewed on what was the secret of their success being married so long ... 70yrs!
Easy, says the old man. two words ......... "yes love" so true hehe
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Delighted!!
Ordered my motobility car yesterday,
Hope to get it around 11th May!!!
Xxx
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