As bad as it gets ?

Not blogged for a few months, was not in mood to be honest, not even for one liners to other posts.

Last time we "spoke" I was due a meeting with work about the time I had off because of my beloved RA. All went well actually for a month or so then we had another.

When the boss put the black cap on I knew the outcome and now I am unemployed with nowhere to go really.

Shortly (like in the next 2/3 weeks) I think will lose my home. Yes, I have gone down the road of benefits etc... but come on, what quality of life do you really have living on them, you dont live you just survive.

So as this may be my last post for some time, or ever infact, just wanted to let you know that I still exist!! (ish) I know this is not a nice post for some to read but I wanted to say sometimes with RA, things can get bad, really bad and I dont mean just the pain.

Hopefully for me and my moggie there is light at the end of tunnel, seems a long one at moment though ... need to buy a torch I guess :)

53 Replies

  • Hi PeteC,

    I'm sorry to hear that your stuck in a big hole, you say you went down the benefit road, what about DLA and incapacity benefits Have you tried them type of benefits? It is difficult at first especially when your used to your independence and going to work, earning good money and what have you.

    What about welfare rights adviser, maybe give them a ring or CAB they can be really helpful too, stick with it and hofully things will start to change for the better for

    Take care


  • Cheers m8 ..

  • All i can do pete is send you cyber hugs and hope things improve for you soon. xx

  • X

  • Hey mate, when you hit the bottom, there's only one place to go and that's up, so hang in there and things will work out, you'll see..x

  • I know, but when so much chit hits the fan at once, its hard to dodge with RA ... :) ty ...

  • Hi Pete, so sorry to hear things have got so bad, your post brings back bad memories for me, 12 yr ago losing my job after a severe flare, having to claim benefits and sell my home as I was fearful of repossession. Bad times, but we do get through them.

    I agree with Philip, get down the CAB and get some benefits advice, there are disability benefits you can claim along with ESA (employment support allowance).

    I've added the governments benefit calculator to give you an idea of the help/support you can claim. Please don't give up yet, get out there and claim all your entitled to.

    Good luck

    Beth xx

  • Also, here's the benefitsandwork link. There is a subscription for the downloads however, there's load of free advice and info for filling in sickness/disability benefit claim forms.

    Beth x

  • Thank you, was the site that got the ball rollin for me in first place, so good advice :)

  • Wish i could offer the kind of practical help that beth does but im just sending you my best wishes and hope that light at the end of the tunnel appears soon


  • Thanks Cathie, sometimes practical help works, while other times we just need to know there's someone thinking about us and sending cyber hugs and good wishes. xxx

  • Np, I'll just but duracell! ty Cath...

  • Hi Pete I know how you feel your backs against the wall at the moment. With RA nothing seems constant. I am try to sort my benefits out again . Which is a minefield but remember you are entitled to them. So keep going. Just take a day at a time. Good luck & hope things

  • Ty :)

  • Hi Pete,

    I just looked at your profile.

    Is it true you live in the Denton area of Manchester?

    If I am right then your MP is a shadow Health Minister. Why not write to your MP and tell him what is happening to you. You can send e mails if it's easier.

    You deserve some help and support. And you must be treated fairly. But it can be so difficult to fight when you are so ill, stressed and worn out.

    In the past I have had amazing support from my MP with a variety of issues, including Disability, Work place bullying, and Equal Opps.

    (I won't bother now, though as I find myself in MR Clegg's constituency!! They moved the boundaries!)

  • Ermmm .. you missed out the "refined" Denton bit, thx for that will research that avenue.

  • Sorry, on the wrong side of the Pennines, so can't see it from here!

  • Its not your fault you live on the otherside ...

  • Hi Pete

    Sorry to hear about your situation.

    Hoping it improves sometime soon. Lots of hugs,

    Joanne x

  • God save the Queen!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ... hehehe

  • Just left you a message re RA. But God save the Queen indeed!

    I know several & they swan around Canal Street & truly deserve recognition & the regal advantage to cruise.

  • Hmmm ...

  • Hello Pete,

    Your post is very moving & it was distressing to read about what's been happening to you. Can I just make one suggestion? Please phone The National Rheumatoid Arthritis Society [NRAS] on 0800 298 7650 as they know a lot about benefits & sources of financial support.

    I'm so sorry that you're having to cope with such a horrible situation. Please know that you're in our thoughts.

    Look after yourself, Pete.

    With all good wishes,

    J. X

  • I do apologise, distressing was never my intent just in my situation ... reality.

    Thank you for that number, what better number to ring in my predicament and to think some men say women are dumb ahahahah

    Seriously, thank you ...

  • Oi! Was that sarky or for real, mate?

    Are you a Manc?? Well me too! Not sure whether your last was real or just for the website.

  • Is it not a mans "right" to be sarky?

  • NO! Nor is it to be homophobic since your asking!

  • Jeez, ur so right..I sincerely apologise. Old school which is no excuse at all. I felt your apathy in your post and it touched me ..speaks volumes ..sry

  • It touched you?

  • "I'm so sorry that you're having to cope with such a horrible situation. Please know that you're in our thoughts.

    Look after yourself" ...yup it touched me ...

  • Gotcha! Good luck & let me know when you're ready to be be open & honest.

  • Hahahaa ... as if

  • At least you made me laugh, its good to laugh ...

  • I am thinking of you, people have left you some great advice and have reached out, I hope you come back on to this site so you can read all the well wishes and support that has been sent your way. I wish you well, please take good care of your self. X

  • We are obviously on same wavelength :)

  • Hi Pete - coming late to this but just wanted to do same as Cathie and offer a big cyber hug - I think if you follow the advice on here then things wil improve for you. Here's very much hoping. Tilda x

  • Ugs accepted, ty ..

  • OK Pete. FYI I live with serious & unrelenting RA, all joints replaced & the usual malarkey of daily pain etc. You got me going there but I won't respond further.

  • Hmmm, not really sure what I have done wrong, crossed wires I guess. Never intend to insult ...

  • Hi Pete, Sorry things are bad for you right now. Hope you can find a way through and get settled again, but tough to have to face such big changes. My RA has meant that I now have a smaller, simpler life than I had planned. But it's ok and even pretty good at times so I hope you'll find the same for yourself. And don't give up the snarky humour - we need a bit of contrast from time to time. Polly

  • At least you haven't lost your sense of humour pete,long may it reign. You will get through this mate. Your sense of humour is sooo funny,shame some people don't get it. xx

  • I have no option but to be sarky, the roost is ruled by chicks lol

  • Actually I can imagine what its like to be skint and miserable (u missed out the pain bit too) but a place like this keeps my pecker up!

    Ty :)

  • Oh Pete,

    I am so sorry please contact your citizens advice for help they could help sort plan for mortgaage payments etc, dont give up!.

    Your moggie needs you and we would miss you on this site!

  • Well out of all the demands ..I payed my cable this month ... Ra is issues with joints, no cable is loss of a limb :)

  • Lol, I like your thinking ;-) x

  • That's awful Pete. RA is bad enough without all the additional stress you've been put under. Really hope things get better for you soon.

    Traceyanne x

  • Pete that is so crap.

    If i win the lottery i will send some money your way. Stay on the site please, i would miss your sarky comments.


    Here's hoping its u lol


  • Hi Pete , I can so relate to probs . I will not go into my healh issues , they are on my blog, and recently told my heart not working prob, (but then has been broken a couple of times lol)and my lungs not too good. some in part due to treatment of cancer . And while i had cancer ,waiting for hip replacment and in agony was terroised , not other word for by Lloydes bank, calling every day twice a day even on sundays, getting nasty as not paid my credit card , as money gone on other things /travel. for treatment .ect even knowing howw ill i was they persisted, till in the end as not getting the proper advise or having a site like this I sold my house to pay them off, along with other debt s Had enough to pay a years rent on a flat , and so thats it .So don,t give into to it if you can help it get good advise from CAB and other free organisations. and your local council for housing help. Hope you sorrt it soon, and keep that torch burning as you will see the light ,just seems a long way off,but gets closer every day . I regret every day selling my home ,and wish still there . but at least debt free now.take care .x

  • Agreed, my philosophy has been a simple one and it works (for the time being)

    I have had too start answering my phone due to the fact it could be the "establishment" querying one of the many forms I have completed.

    So when I do answer a call that's a debt I keep it simple ... This is the situation and I am afraid when you have health issues and debt issues, health takes priority, period. They soon shut up.

    All have succumbed and up to now they will ring in a month or so for an "update", not a demand. Dad always said "Don't let the bas%!£rds beat you"...

    Lets see what prevails.

  • I know someone that went through a similar situation and they had to agree to any nomination that was offered. No matter how small, it's my understanding that they have to work with you and cannot force you into situations. Sorry I can't help Pete, I am sure you have had enough advice anyway, just wanted to share my two penerth!

  • I just found this link to the gov't mortgage rescue scheme. Just in case of use


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