Hi this may seem selfish but I have had RA for 14 years now and up till then I put family and work before anything. Then one day my knee swollen up and I could not walk and guess what I had RA. I came to turns with it fast and excepted what my life may be like, but once that had worn off I said this is not going to get me down and tried to take life normal and tried to do the things I want and could once, like walking sundays with the family, gardening etc but soon found out I couldn't so was knocked back again. I refused to let people help I was not going to be a burden to anyone. That lasted a few months and then I had to give in. Down the line I have had to get a scooter for the days out which I put off. But lost may days out with the family by not getting one, now I can go out with them and be happy. I let people help me at home and at work and except that I can't do all things myself, it's better to get help than not have something done at all. I how think of number one, not I a selfish way just that some days I can't do things and some days I can. Things will have to wait and till I or someone helps me. Some days I go to work and some I work from home. Nothing is that important that it can't wait. Don't get me wrong RA do not rule my life but RA do is not stopping me from living, just a bit slower and many be get my wife make that cup of tea, or work has to wait till I can sort it out. After a while people around you do fit in to that RA world and see me for what I am. My cat waits for me to open the door for her. When my wife is there to do it she runs like mad but with me she walks beside me and looks up as to says "No hurry we will get there soon" If a cat understands us then the world will, so keep in there don't fight it but don't give in, know your limits and stick to them, if that makes sense. Life so precious.
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