Think of number one: Hi this may seem selfish but I... - NRAS

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Think of number one

Hi this may seem selfish but I have had RA for 14 years now and up till then I put family and work before anything. Then one day my knee swollen up and I could not walk and guess what I had RA. I came to turns with it fast and excepted what my life may be like, but once that had worn off I said this is not going to get me down and tried to take life normal and tried to do the things I want and could once, like walking sundays with the family, gardening etc but soon found out I couldn't so was knocked back again. I refused to let people help I was not going to be a burden to anyone. That lasted a few months and then I had to give in. Down the line I have had to get a scooter for the days out which I put off. But lost may days out with the family by not getting one, now I can go out with them and be happy. I let people help me at home and at work and except that I can't do all things myself, it's better to get help than not have something done at all. I how think of number one, not I a selfish way just that some days I can't do things and some days I can. Things will have to wait and till I or someone helps me. Some days I go to work and some I work from home. Nothing is that important that it can't wait. Don't get me wrong RA do not rule my life but RA do is not stopping me from living, just a bit slower and many be get my wife make that cup of tea, or work has to wait till I can sort it out. After a while people around you do fit in to that RA world and see me for what I am. My cat waits for me to open the door for her. When my wife is there to do it she runs like mad but with me she walks beside me and looks up as to says "No hurry we will get there soon" If a cat understands us then the world will, so keep in there don't fight it but don't give in, know your limits and stick to them, if that makes sense. Life so precious.

8 Replies

Hi Beep, you are so right ... the world and its partners can wait! There is very little in life that is so urgent that it can't take a back seat for a while. You live, you learn :) RA should not rule our lives; yes, it can be a dammed nuisance at times, along with its assorted travelling companions, but learning to accept and live with what we have and enjoy life to the full is key.

At the end of the day it can be a destructive disease but for most (a very few will have drug reactions and be more difficult to treat) diagnosed in the last ten years or so it will, with the appropriate medication, be nothing more than a minor irritation amongst life's other quandaries. Reaching the point of 'appropriate' medication may be the hardest part but you get there.

Personally I think life goes at such a fast pace these days its hard to keep up so having to slow down is no bad thing! Who knows because of the limitations faced by us perhaps we will end up living longer because of the RA :)

Take care Beep,

Lyn x

PS my cats are just the same ... such adaptable creatures :)


i agree with both of you, and think Lynn hit the nail on the head, getting the appropriate medicine. Two years on I am better but still have flare ups and very slow mornings but fortunately my rheumy team do keep trying to find the right treatment regime


good luck to you both

Sue x


Glad you are doing ok on Cimzia Sue



Hi Beep. What a lovely blog. I echo what Lyn and Sue have said, it takes some getting used to, but it is nice to have an excuse to slow down -not that life in Devon isn't slow enough any way. Glad your missus makes that cuppa for you - just trying to train my other half. I just have to prod him now and then! :-)

Take care Beep

Julie xx


HI All

Im wondering if cats have some intuitive healing powers my lad has had a really bad time with depression and the cat literally moved in his bedroom with him and wont leave his side now. The bond beween them is something quite extraordinary. When he got better after a year of staying indoors the cat decided it was ok to go out in the Garden too ! he only has to call her once and she always comes running. Its really special....

Nice to hear you are doing ok Beep

Fiona x


I honestly believe they do. My daughter's cat is so intuitive and always stick to whoever is not feeling well in the house. She has been by my side since we got back from our break last Friday and now I am feeling a bit better I haven't seen anything of her since yesterday morning - although I know she is about, because I had a half chewed mousey outside the bedroom door the morning. Ta... puddy x

julie xx


Yes I agree with all of you and the cat thing is incredible what a lovelly story Sparkle. I read it to my daughter and she thought it was great too.


Hi Beep. I agree with everything that has been said. It is just a pity that we can't have 'one pill suits all' but unfortunately not so. You have a great attitude to RA and I suspect, to life. Keep it up it will stand you in good stead for the future. As for cats, they are the most intuitive animal. They are the best. I would have a house full if I could. They make the best friends. Sheila x


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