RA & Parenting

[Sarahasan]

A big hello from my side. This is Sara, a new joiner to the group. I have been juggling with RA since almost 20 years now. I am expecting to a new journey as a parent and need advice from this community on where to find adaptive parenting gears

[KittyJ]

welcome to the group Sara, I hope you find it useful. NRAS have lots of helpful publications on their website, it might be good to have a look at some even though you’re not newly diagnosed. I didn’t use any aids as such for parenting but I did buy a sling for babies so I could easily carry them around. it was just an ordinary one but it’s worth trying a few to check you can easily get it on. Also try out different pushchairs etc do you know they’re easy for you. Other than that I just found my own ways to do things, that suited me which I’m sure you’ll do too. Good luck 🤞🏻

[wilbertjellyfish]

I'm a mum of five. I didn't develop arthritis until after I'd had them but a bit of parenting advice in general is don't buy anything until you actually need it. There is so much out there and while one person will swear they couldn't live without X others never use it. Some things are rentable and lots are ok second hand.

Definitely research the pram try folding them and lifting them and putting them into your car.

Some of the travel systems seem like value but you'll be compromising at some point so it's not always worth it.

The maxi Cosi baby car seat is light and the base is much easier than seat belting it in.

I had a sling/carrier thing too and it was great for going out and about.

Hope you are keeping well and congratulations

[cyberbarn]

Although I wasn't diagnosed when I had my baby, I did have problems already with my wrists and back.

I agree with awilbertjellyfish that what suits one mum won't necessarily work for another, but also it will depend on the baby too. I had a friend who used slings and backpacks for baby one and two, but thee hated them and she used a pram. Then found out that old fashioned prams are brilliant as the baby faces you and you can put the groceries in around them. And they keep the fish and chips warm on the way home from the takeaway!

I live in a rural area so prams and pushchairs weren't useful. I used a sling for 6 months then as he was sitting by then, switched to a properly expensive backpack (meant for people climbing mountains in New Zealand!) so that it was easy on my back.

Will your drugs allow breastfeeding? If you are unsure, there is a pharmacist and breastfeeding counsellor that can help. Most doctors do not know what should and shouldn't be taken, but Wendy is the country's expert in this.

breastfeeding-and-medicatio...

And breastfeeding and co-sleeping is helpful, it allows for more rest. Once you get used to it the baby helps themselves and you don't even wake up!

Breast or bottle feeding in the day can be hard on the joints, so make sure you get a good sitting position. If you are having pain then ask someone to sit and watch you though an entire feed. I had a friend do this and she pointed out that I was listing like a sinking ship, falling over to the left. I had the arm of the sofa on the right, so we got one of the dogs trained up to sit on my left and prop me and the baby up. I think dog and baby enjoyed the football hold with the baby laying on the dog! Caveat: know your dogs well and make sure they are very obedient!

One bit of advice that I was given by a mother of four all under the age of five, was to prepare four weeks of evening meals and put them in the deep freeze in a bag for each week. That way you now you will always have at least one cooked meal a day no matter how bad you are feeling, and if it is things like shepards pie or a casserole, then anyone can pop it in the oven for you.

There are also websites and support groups for disabled parents. Not saying your disabled, but you might find them helpful places to find resources and read about the experiences of other people. disabledparent.org.uk

But most of all, enjoy! There will be bad days and good days, but those good days are the most amazing thing ever!

[EmmaS-NRAS NRAS]

Hi Sara,

Welcome to the group and congratulations on your exciting news! Lots of information on this site and things for you to try but, as KittyJ mentioned, our website has quite a large section on RA and parenthood - nras.org.uk/resource/pregna... and we also offer a service where we can put you in touch with one of our telephone volunteers and perhaps one who has young children. If it's something you might be interested in, do give our Helpline team a call on 0800 298 7650 - they're also there if you have any questions at all

Best wishes,

EmmaS- NRAS