hello, I'm trying to think of a good date idea that I can do with my boyfriend but I'm quite limited by my RA (disease activity is severe at the moment). We realised we haven't actually been out together since last September (usually he just comes over to my flat).
I live inner North London. My nearest tube station is not step-free nor train station. I can get a taxi into central London or in the other direction. My borough has all the types things other towns have.
Limitations: I can only walk about 400 metres. I wouldn't be able to sit still for a prolonged period of time so not theatre etc. Dexterity is poor, I don't particularly enjoy eating as it feels like an ordeal and I drop things, it's okay to do it in certain settings for example a picnic is much less embarrassing than a restaurant if I drop my food. I have to use own adapted cutlery plate cup etc which also feels like a bit of a hassle.
Our sex life is great but it really is time to get out more and go somewhere on a real date!
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Flowersaregreat
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Well, from being someone who is definitely not your generation and who was quite happy being a recluse during covid. How about packing a picnic for yourselves and taking a taxi to a nice park with a pond in it in your borough and feeding the ducks - either buy a loaf (wholemeal?) or use any left overs you have at home or even get some proper duck food from a pet shop. I love feeding ducks. Eat your food before you go near the ducks though or they will be after you. It doesn’t matter if you are a good aim or not - they are greedy things and will get any bits that fall short of your target.
There are usually lots of benches for you to sit down on too. 🦆🦆🦆
Are there any country parks (or similar) within a taxi ride. As above you could take a picnic but often these sorts of places have mobility scooters you can hire so you could venture a bit further.
The other idea (and you may well have tried this so apologies if you have!) is to have a date night in. During covid my sister went the whole way and turned her garage into a swanky restaurant by hiding the junk behind some old large curtains, putting fairy lights up and laying a table properly with table cloth, candles etc. You don’t have to go that far but dress up smartly and lay a proper table. There are lots of restaurants which will deliver ready meals you just put in the oven (another remnant of covid) or just order your favourite takeaway delivery.
Whatever you choose just enjoy each other’s company.
Take a Thames Clipper boat to Greenwich and then have a picnic in the grounds of the Royal Naval College, or lunch at the Trafalgar Tavern where you can have their famous whitebait that doesn't need cutlery!
Aww the naval college brings back memories for me as our daughter was christened in the church there and we had our party afterwards in the generals house. My hubby was the house sargent there at the time. Thanks for the memories.xxxx
Maybe you could get a taxi to a bowling alley? Taking it in turns allows for sitting down followed by moving a bit then sitting back down etc. I struggle with my knees so when flaring have even been known to use the device that the kids use — a metal frame which allows you to sit the ball on top, then roll it down from here so no bending over either. I tend to get a higher score that way too!! The bowling alley near us has a bar so can have a drink before or after as well. Or we have done an indoor crazy golf course a couple of times - using a stick that has a seat on it to perch on between my turns.
If you’re able to cycle perhaps hire a tandem bike or a ride in those rickshaws you see these days or open top bus tour where you can stand if you wish ( stairs allowing).Home picnics are great fun too. The millennium wheel perhaps, it’s all ramps and they have seated pods if required. Just watching the performances in Covent Garden if you can get there? If money is no issue how about a couples day at a spa, jacuzzi massage etc, most have facilities to help. Whatever you decide I hope you both have a great time.
How about an escape room? One you can access of course 😊. It only lasts about an hour- less if you can get out. It’s fun, doesn’t involve dexterity, eating or sitting for long periods and it will make you laugh.
I occasionally visit London for a few hours, arriving at Kings Cross. Like you, I can't walk far, so stay in the area and have lots of "rests". I pop into the British Library for a quick browse around (they have lifts and plenty of chairs) before wandering down Charlton Street to Pinner Cafe, to have breakfast outside (it's the best - they really look after you!). Then into Oakley Square Gardens, just to sit on a bench and listen to everything going on and the birds. The last time I went I met a lovely woman looking for an open house garden in the area. We had quite a long chat and I managed to draw her a map from my phone.
From there I (very slowly) wander around the back streets (love doing this) to Regents Park, for another rest. I spend a good 2 hours here, bench hopping.
From there I cross Euston Road and pop into The Welcome Trust Exhibition Building, working my way back to Kings Cross at this point). Their tea shop is at the entrance, so that's my afternoon refreshments sorted. It's a disability friendly building and accommodate everyone. By then I need the loo too - on the ground floor! And it's so fascinating and free.
I take the back streets back to Kings Cross, sitting in the green squares on the way.
By this time I'm shattered!
I grab a bite to eat for the train, from a shop on my way back, catch the train and am back home in approx 2 hours. I live next door to the station - very handy.
Your station might have stairs but they will have options. I would ask.
I'm not saying do exactly the same, but just arrive in London at any station and start to wander. Within a mile of so of every station, there's so much to explore!
You really needn't go far and it's surprising how just a change of scenery is enjoyable.
Do you have a zoo you could get a taxi to? Perhaps they have mobility scooters to use when you get there? I know some do nowadays. There will be a cafe for food and drink. Could be a nice date…
Maybe a visit to a museum or London zoo with a trip up the canal if they still do it, I know walking is involved but with plenty of places to sit you could do it gradually, whatever you decide have a wonderful time ❤️
Living in Scotland, I don't know London very well, and in a similar situation as yourself mobility and sitting wise but still loving the great outdoors, a taxi trip to Ricmond Park to see the deer, with a picnic would be a special.
Camera ready (phone camera is fine) you or your BF could have good fun taking some photos of the deer, whilst enjoying a picnic. I have a memory foam car seat cushion with an over the shoulder carry strap that increases my sitting time. I take it everywhere and there are park benches you could sit on.
If it doesn't sound too foolish I also play a wee feel good game with whoever I'm out with (if appropriate) ...point out something that makes you feel happy... it offen gets the conversation juices going, and creates good memories and vibes for the trip out (great views from Richmond Park over London / amazing red deer ?).
People watch and appreciate how good it is to be out in amongst folks and nature again, soak up the smells, colours and sights.
Whatever you do have a great time out, make it special.
London city airport... sky diving...gets good reviews on TripAdvisor and everyone has a smiling face ;)...you'll feel no pain as you shite your self on the way down. boy friend will love it.
Hi, how about visiting the National Gallery. Select just one room, maybe the Impressionists, Post Impressionists and just sit for a period to observe a few pictures that appeal. Take a picnic lunch and sit on the wall outside that faces Trafalger Sq to watch the whole world go by!
Can u swim may be if any near you go to the swimming baths an take a picnic with you do wonders for your RA even if u just stand in it 💜
Is there a Turkish Baths near you? Some do mixed gender times (you will have to wear a swimsuit though. Not naked 😂).
You could also google places that let you borrow ‘tramper’ mobility scooters. I borrowed one recently to go round a small farm by a stately home. Was great. Had been anxious as my legs weren’t working that day. Tate also have ‘resting stools’ you can ask your bf to carry round for you
Go and see back to the future musical ! It is brilliant and the front of house staff are terry! They let me in a side door- no stairs and showed me toilet and bar no stairs! Even got me an ice cream during interval soo did not have to struggle with queues
i know this one all to well. By the time you get to the venue you are in to much pain to stay. And it takes so long for a restaurant to prepare food.
First of all and probably the best advice i can offer is to try taking "creatine monohydrate ", for myself and others it such a relief from the effects of ra. I haddnt used my left hand for months now i had to learn how to use my fingers again. It cant undo damage but it has eased the effects ( for me).
As with most things we are all different in somes ways, so do your own research if in dought check with your doctor, and follow the instructions if you do deside to take it. I find half the recommended dose works for me.
As for getting out for date night, it depends what you enjoy doing. Restraint you should be able to pre-order so get a taxie there with no wait for your food to arrive. Movies pay for the comfortable seats. Or if you have a wheelchair and a limited budget just go out for the evening air. ( depending on the airea you live in)
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Is this 'normal' for RA??!!
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RA..... I don't want to share it.......
