"Why me?" - a different approach

[ifxx]

Life with a chronic disease is all ups and downs. “Why me? Why do I have to live with this disease?” becomes an inevitable question during the downs. So, hear me out. What are chronic diseases essentially? What makes them so unbearable at times? For me it’s this: I can feel myself dying. My disease is a constant reminder of time passing by, of my body slowly decaying and of the powerlessness I have over it, over life. But that’s just it. Somehow, if you think it through, that’s the beautiful thing about it. Living with a chronic disease instantly raises your awareness. You realize more than ever that your being isn’t limited to your body, to your pain. You realize that there’s way more to life. You feel the fire inside you burning brighter than ever and you start to see the beauty in all the little things.

All the people with chronic diseases that I’ve met so far, have had an incredibly positive and hopeful attitude towards life. I’ve felt the beautiful, strong energies surrounding them, I’ve seen them get up from wheelchairs with each other’s help and dance to 80’s tunes. I’ve seen them not only living, but loving life, to the absolute fullest. And sometimes I just feel like we live, love and appreciate life way more and on a whole other level than people who have never had anything taken away from them by life.

This disease has become my teacher and I will never stop learning from it. Just like I’ll always keep learning from other affected people, even just by observing their love for life.

This disease brings me one step closer to myself every day. It makes my passion for life burn bright and assures me that I’m on my path.

So, what if the answer to the question “Why me?” is simply that your life’s purpose requires you to go through life with more awareness, more gratitude and without limiting yourself to your body?

Maybe a chronic disease is just a step in the right direction, after all.

I'd love to hear what others think about this. I just kinda spent the evening writing down whatever cam to my mind and I really felt like sharing it. Would also love to know if I should share such thoughts more frequently, I love writing it all down anyways...

have a good night everyone <3

[DMARDSandMe]

Hiya! As a 20 year old i often find myself in despair about how my life is ruined with RA tho overall I do try to take a positive approach! And this post has made my day!!!! RA has taught me so many things so it was probably a necessity to get to where I want to be!

[Hidden]

Fantastic!

[Mmrr]

Living with a chronic illness has certainly made me more content and aware of what matters in life....and I'm more patient.

[Fruitandnutcase]

My answer to ‘why me?’ tends to be ‘Why not?’ There’s no answer to it really. It just happens.

When I see people winning huge sums of money on the lottery or finding lost masterpieces in the attic I find my self wondering ‘Why not me?’ which is the opposite of ‘Why me?’

My theory on life is that I will never be rich , there will always be people who are better off than I am but there will always be people worse off too and I suppose that applies to health too.

Strange things happen in life, good and bad.

[Matalow]

Wow what a super post.I agree wholeheartedly it makes us much more aware of all the beauty and wonders that surround us,even though I’m unable to get into the hills or go on long walks anymore.

Kind regards Mike

[nomoreheels]

My Dad always used to say we're never given more than we can cope with, usually around exam time. I try to live by that rule. To add to his words I think nowadays there are many worse off than me, at least I have a roof over my head, many don't by no fault of their own. I tend to be a glass half full person, maybe that's my Dad's doing, if it is then it makes me thankful.

[bgeorgie]

Such a beautiful post, thank you for sharing! I too, have become more present and more grateful after the initial anger at the diagnosis. I realised that my body had been given me all sorts of signals that something wasn't right, which of course I didn't listen to. Well, our bodies have a way to make us listen, and I am now doing my best to give it what it needs and work with it rather than get angry and frustrated with it. It's making me live a healthier and more fulfilling life x

[Hessie5]

Inspirational words nicely put. There are time when I do think why me? I feel upset, frustrated that I can't do the things I use too. But this is the updated me, I have to turn it around and think of the things I am grateful for. Fortunate to have access to these drugs, good food, supplements and so much more. I am thankful for every morning I can raise my head off my pillow, despite the cranky aches and pains. I am blessed to have a fabulous family. I have the opportunity to try to make my body better, in spite of the roadblocks 😌. Thank you.

[Pawz4me]

Your post is beautiful. Personally, it's never occurred to me to wonder "why me." My husband was diagnosed with stage IV cancer a year before my RA diagnosis (I suspect the stress of that was a trigger). Dealing with advanced cancer certainly tends to keep things in perspective when one "only" has RA. Not that I'm minimizing RA at all (some days it seems that I'm in worse shape than he is), but . . I think you all know what I mean. But even for him we never asked "why." All you have to do is pay attention to know that really bad things happen to people all the time. None of us are likely to get out of this world untouched by bad crap. It's a risk of being alive. Of course dealing with our health issues makes both of us depressed at times. But absolutely there's also a much greater sense of appreciating each other, each day, people, and all the little joys of life.

[AgedCrone in reply to Pawz4me]

Now you see I think exactly the opposite to you. Already having RA, I had breast cancer,& although at the time, I thought it was the end of the world - I decided even though it dragged on my b.c had almost been a walk in the park versus RA.

Of course my view maybe skewed because I recovered well & after a couple of years I was able to get on in with my life just like before, RA allowing....but if given the choice......I would not choose RA. I know that probably sounds peculiar, but it is exactly how feel.

I am beginning to get really fed up with thinking “at last a drug that works and lasts “,& then finding it doesn’t!

But then.......there’s always tomorrow isn’t there ?

[Paisley58 in reply to AgedCrone]

Can relate. I had sarcoma and I found it easier than R.A.

[cuttysark]

Great post!!

I totally agree we do notice much more of the beauty close around than others.

Before I had Autoimmune disease I rushed about busy all the time with four rapidly growing sons and husband and part time job. Gradually over 20 years of worsening health everything has slowed down. I am now 66 , had three strokes and now CNS vasculitis in the mix. Life is so different and so restricted, but most of the time I keep cheery!

Even meeting a stranger and having an unexpected chat out walking the dog can make your day and help you to cope with all that we carry.

But I also need to grieve every so often, and howl to the heavens as it has robbed me of so much. I cant look after my four grandchildren at all but I am blessed with having them, and all nearby.I have a wonderfully supportive family ,so in many ways I don't know I am born!

The ironic thing is without this chronic illness I would not have appreciated all I do have, just as everyone has said.

My friends, most of them same age and totally healthy, moan about so many irrelevant things!

We know what is precious , So after the tears I can settle again and be grateful. Sometimes you have just to let those healing tears fall as a safety valve ,and not feel you are any kind of a failure. They are needed to get you back on track again.

But this forum too is a life saver and wonderful we can share our worries and all our victories with each other. X

[Rals52]

Beautifully said! As I’m aging with RA, I’ve also realized each day is very precious. I do my best to find the joy, beauty& the best in each day!

[Paisley58]

I guess I needed to read this as I have been in the pits of hell for quite sometime.

I had decided the moment I was diagnoised that this disease was not going to win. Everything they told me I couldn't do I proved them wrong and have remained very positive. However in 2016 I had a heart attack. Couple months later a stroke and I became acutely aware how Sarcoidosis and R.A was slowly breaking my body down despite my attempts at never allowing it to change me or break me. It has been extremely hard fighting my way back from those two setbacks amongst other things and now I am so exhausted. I never really took stock of how much mental energy it took to keep 'fighting' and I also realised through this forum that I was 'fighting' to get back to the woman I was before these disease invaded my life.

I currently feel like I have lost that zeal I used to have for life because I am living with an annoying, inconsiderate, selfish room mate who seems hell bent on taking over my life and I wasn't going to allow her to win. This post has reminded me that it isn't about winning but about accepting I have this roomie. That I need to quit 'fighting' to get back to post Sarcoidosis & R.A. I just have to keep making those adjustments and not see them as a failure but as just that an adjustment to a different kind fo life.

Thanks for the post btw

[DRunnerchick]

Great post! I think chronic disease can put us closer to our true selves and what is important if we slow down to think, and are honest with ourselves. It very quickly helps us jettison all the worthless time sucks we have that we never noticed before that keep us from our dreams and/or families. It’s a hard way to learn that lesson, but some people never do!

D🏃🏽‍♀️