Hey everyone, I'm new here and wanted to share a kind of "poem" I wrote about RA. I was diagnosed about half a year ago, at age 17. I currently make weekly MTX injections and have just recently started to vape CBD Oil. I'd love to know what you think of this "poem" and whether I should continue to post such things. I'd really like any type of feedback as well.
What if there’s a demon inside of you?
That demon is feeding on the time you have left
and on all the parts of you that used to be okay.
It lights your body on fire night and day and the fire reaches your mind,
reaches your soul and leaves a permanent scar inside of you.
It’s invisible, like the demon itself,
but you, and only you, can feel it burning every second.
And you feel the burning in your soul as well.
Your time is not enough to satisfy the demon’s hunger
so, it feeds on your dreams too.
It feeds on your future, on the all the plans you had
and leaves you with nothing but an unrealizable
wish to live.
You are alive but you are not living.
You crave the fulfillment you had expected from life
but you are stuck.
Alive but not living.
Stuck with this demon inside of you
and the endless war goes on.
It always will, because
you have no choice.
You are the demon.
Written by
ifxx
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Welcome. You've stumbled upon one of the most supportive places to be where we can all share our fears, highs and lows- and Demons, if necessary.
You've done well to express yourself in your poem. It gives a good sense of where you are, where you've been and maybe where you'd hoped to see your self going, before this dreadful disease. I hear you and I get it!
However, my feelings are that the Demin of RA, with the right meds and a healthy lifestyle can be quietened and my hope is that as medical science progresses, new are more effective, kind treatments will be identified.
It is a Demon of a disease, but don't let it consume you- life is still very much rich and worth living.
I completely get what you are saying. I was broadsided with my diagnosis, too. And I agree, this forum is a great place to vent and get support. Since I've only been on meds for a short while, I'm not experiencing any relief yet and the idea of relearning my diet is just too exhausting to fathom. But, I also realize "the only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time." I personally feel I can't give up. I've already learned a lot from this site and a few others, so I'll keep on keeping on.
Hang in there. You are among friends so keep writing and sharing your poetry and your feelings. Sometimes just knowing you aren't alone helps.
Thank you for your kind words Lori, you're absolutely right and thanks to this site I now know I'm not alone! I'm excited to keep fighting with your support.
Yes , I think most of us "get" where you are at. I really hope you keep on this site .....as you will find everyone very supportive , and many that are very positive , and knowledgeable. Glad to hear you are on some cbd oil , and hope it is helping !
What an incredible gift you have. The ability you have to express yourself will serve you well in your journey. It will also enable you to look back and see how far you have come.
The Poem resonates with all with chronic illness or pain.
For such a young person it must seem so overwhelming. Try to tackle those demons one at a time. I look forward to a time when we can offer more than platitudes. Through darker periods I try to focus on an old mantra 'this too shall pass'.There are new discoveries everyday so none of us knows what the day will bring, only how we will receive it. Once your Rheumy finds a treatment which works for you the future will seem much brighter. Hang Tuff ❤️❤️❤️❤️feel free to vent whenever you like, we do understand.
Thank you so much, I will definitely keep posting. You're right, there's still so much to be discovered and even if it's hard to imagine sometimes, I'm sure all of us will get through this with each other's help.
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