RA and ED

[Lizzie411975]

Hi my partner and I had a good sex life untill recently... he was on 30mg per day for RA pain and 3 months ago we started weaning him off them, he is currently down to 5mg per day which is brilliant but since we have started the weaning process he has had problems with ED, I was wondering if anybody else has had this problem and maybe advise me or share ur experiences. Please we thought we were getting somewhere but it just seems to be every time we see positive it gets destroyed with negatives. The steroids he is on are prednisoline. Thanks in advance. Liz

[Hidden]

Hi Lizzie

You may find the NRAS booklet on Emotions, Relationships and Sexuality helpful - you can order one free via the nras.org.uk/publications or call us (though not today as we are having major telephone issues today) on 0845 458 3969.

ED is far more common than you would think and it is well worth speaking together to your husband's rheumatology specialist nurse or GP who can give some further advice on ED.

I am guessing when you talk about reducing 30mg to 5mg you are talking about methotrexate? If so again speak to your husbands rheumatology team about considering other DMARDs to keep his RA controlled with perhaps less reliance on steroids.

[Lizzie411975 in reply to Hidden]

Sorry the 30 and 5mg I am talking about are the steroids, he had to come off meth about 4 months ago because of severe mood swings... it just seems every time we think we are getting somewhere we hit another brick wall and it's back to square one to try and sort it out... he is quite low about this and keeps telling me it's not fair on me, regardless of how much reassurance I give him he still won't believe it. RA is one hell of a disease and to each and everyone of you all take it from me you are all true fighters and hero's, because I have seen first hand what this horrible disease can do

[Hidden in reply to Lizzie411975]

Hi Lizzie

Do you think it might help him to chat to another chap who has been where he is now? We have trained telephone support volunteers who can talk over the phone at a mutually convenient time that might helpful? In the meantime drop me an email [e-mail] with your name and address and I'll pop a booklet in the post to you that I really think would help you and your husband with some very practical tips.

He is lucky to have you and I couldn't agree more that people living with RA are THE most amazingly stoic and brave people. I am always truly humbled by their resilience and fortitude.

[Witness2]

The great thing is that you're taking to each other about this problem Lizzie. As long as you can be open with each other you'll stay strong. It's when guilt and resentment creep in that problems arise I think (no pun intended!). ED happens to many men irrrespective of health issues, but naturally they aren't keen to broadcast it. Any 'failure' usually creates worries next time. Keep cuddling while you seek advice on the meds. You aren't alone with this.