Having a hard time : Ive been struggling recently with... - NRAS

NRAS

36,607 members45,226 posts

Having a hard time

Suki1088 profile image
12 Replies

Ive been struggling recently with my RA and feel trapped in my own body. Last night I became really upset by the state of my arms. My elbows are permanently bent and I feel so deformed. It's one thing that has really depressed me over the years and I sometimes desperately search for stories where straightness in the elbow has been regained but that story doesn't seem to exist, I know I need surgery as my elbows are so damaged and painful. I'm waiting on a date but I know that not even surgery will give me my straight arms back (although I don't understand why it's not possible) I wondered does anyone else get this upset about being unable to straighten their arms?

Written by
Suki1088 profile image
Suki1088
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Read more about...
12 Replies
popsmith1874 profile image
popsmith1874

Morning Suki this illness really gets me down at times so I know how you feel, but please try to keep your chin up because it will make everything feel a lot worse is there someone you could talk to so that you can let everything out because sometimes it helps and maybe after your operation things will get better , xxx

Barrister profile image
Barrister

I don't have this problem but as popsmith said, you need to talk to someone. Why not try giving the NRAS helpline a call? They might be able to give you some information which will give you some hope. Good luck. Clemmie

mary4444 profile image
mary4444

so sad to read your post u sound very down and unhappy i am sure things will be better after your op will be thinking of u keep posting xxmary

lornaisobel profile image
lornaisobel

I get upset about how saggy I am - I have lost all my muscle tone so I have saggy arms - stomach- and thighs - I use to be so fit and tonned. I think its a combination of drugs. the disease and being to exhausted to do what I use to. I hate having RA - it disfigures your body - your life - your relationships bloody hateful disease. Your elbows will look better after your op - good luck

Jewels94 profile image
Jewels94

Hi, I know exactly how you feel. I have just had an elbow replacement in my left arm and am waiting for a date to get my right elbow done. 3 months on from my replacement my arm is still not completely straight but is straighter than it was pre op, and I am still doing my physio in the hope of getting it straighter.

Eiram50 profile image
Eiram50 in reply to Jewels94

Hi can I ask, how bad were your elbows, before they took the decision to replace them?

Jewels94 profile image
Jewels94 in reply to Eiram50

I could only straighten them to about 60 degrees. The X-rays showed them to be in a pretty bad condition. I was first referred about two years ago, but wasn't sure about getting them done at first. I went back again last year and told them I wanted them done. It was a big decision for me to make as I work in a special needs school and the work is quite physical at times. I

Eiram50 profile image
Eiram50 in reply to Jewels94

Thanks for your response jewels. I ask because I've been told both of mine will need replaced but although the do hurt and sometimes my whole arms become like a dead weight, I can still move them well.

I guess I was maybe just surprised to know they were in such a bad state.

Having said this, the greatest pain was in my hips and they quickly replaced both of them and three months later, replaced both knees. Whilst clearly, I knew my hips were in a bad way, for all the damage in my knees, they didn't really pain me too much?

Maybe pain isn't really a good indicator of damage done.

Jewels94 profile image
Jewels94 in reply to Eiram50

I personally think we get so used to living in pain that we block it out. The day after my op the only painkiller I was on was paracetamol and even that I never took as much as I was allowed.

cathie profile image
cathie

It sounds as though a good physiotherapist would help. Can you get a referral?

Witness2 profile image
Witness2

I hate the disfigurement too Suki. I hope you are supported by someone who truly understands, as we do here. The helpline could definitely help you, they're amazing. I have decided that disfigurement is so hard to deal with because it changes how we see ourselves and can make us look 'comical'. I walk like Charlie Chaplin - waddling - and I think it makes me look daft. But what I'm told is that people don't always experience me that way. I'm not suggesting people don't notice your elbows, more that they can be distracted by other aspects of us. A big smile for example, or sense of purpose. Is there anything in your life that brings you self esteem, helps you feel useful? The days I do something meaningful, my RA matters less. I hope you feel much better soon..

Jeanslmn profile image
Jeanslmn

Well I get upset with all the pain it cause s and the fact i cannot do the things I've always done it stops me living my normal life,makes me lonely being home alone so much not joining in every day life activities or even able to care for myself properly some days but that's life I suppose

You may also like...

I have severe pain but hardly any swelling.

you make out,most of my pain is mostly around my arms shoulders and grion but mostly my hands and...

having a hard day

husband and I feel like my life was stollen from me. I don't mean to be a debbie downer, I know...

Been having a nice time!

mind it was more for daughter ha ha ! Xx Don't know why I phone turns pictures on side any advice?

this is hard but i am going to ask you who have listened and helped me in past

blown it in need of desperate help works for nhs who have kept her on books dont know full...

For all those going through a hard time right now.