Having a bit of a difficult time right now but I actually have no-one to blame but myself.
Diagnosed about 18 months ago with only the most minor of symptoms - swollen little finger - and put on a hefty MTX dose. I got completely freaked out by everything and ended up focusing on the meds and getting totally obsessed with that.
I realise now, that as I only had such mild symptoms, it was very hard for me to come to terms with the diagnosis, especially as I had only recovered from 20 years of severe depression and anxiety for a few years and was feeling like I had my life back.
I decide to stop taking my meds because I was crying all the time and freaking out.
4 or 5 months later, started getting pains all over the place.
Now, I've got pain in my hands, wrists, knees, shoulder feet. Can't have a bath because I can't get out. Can't carry a mug of tea. Can't open anything. Can't take my top off because my shoulder won't co-operate. Can't sleep. can't lift anything. Can't walk much.
So, I'm back on 20mg mtx. 4 weeks now. Hoping that it'll sort all this out.
I think I'm getting my head round the fact that I've got a serious condition and I can't just sulk and cry and ignore it. Let's hope so.
Hard to accept those things when you've only got a swollen finger....