Help & advice please

Hi guys me again, sorry about all these posts I'm sending out. Have so much going on in my mind. I need to speak to someone...

Basically, I was diagnosed with RA at 22 (severe) in both knees & was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis recently. Im now 34.

I was staying with my mum for a bit after a relationship breakdown..but had to eventually leave because she's an alcoholic & it wasn't healthy with me seeing that, plus the living arrangements wasn't ideal for me.

So, after that, I went to a relative, again the living arrangements aren't ideal for me as the bedroom is upstairs, toilet downstairs & to get in and out of the shower is a nightmare for me as its in a bath. Can't sit on a toilet anymore because of my knees & I know this sounds really bad, but where I am upstairs I can't make the toilet, so I pee in a bottle. I was told by another relative that he likes his own space, I mean I don't ask for help much. I don't know whether he's finding it hard to see me like this. He works nights so sometimes if he can't carry me up the stairs because it's too early, I tend to sleep on the sofa. Anyway, I don't know what to do, I don't really want to stay there as I feel like I'm a burden & yet again, the place isn't ideal for me. I'm not working at the moment due to having this disease, so I'm on esa & dla. I don't know if I'm coming or going, my stuff are all in bags. I'm getting really down about it all, I've booked a docs appointment as I'm so depressed with my health & not knowing where I'll be from one day to the next. I don't know if the council or what can help me.... Can someone help me please.m?

8 Replies

  • If you are classed as homeless and are in receipt of DLA you are entitled to demand help from the council and as a vulnerable adult you would get it. As soon as the council verify you are 1. Homeless and 2. Vulnerable they immediately have to help you. BUT what they dont have to do is give you an appointment to get or verify that information which is a get out and be warned that help could be a B+B and it could be for MONTHS and if you decline that offer they need to offer you nothing more.

    I would suggest that you contact or ask someone to contact your local council adult criscis team or the salvation army who will have that info and do it for you.

    I was in the same situation and eventually after 2 YEARS i got a place in what is called an Extra care facility and i e been here 4 years but i went through hell to get here. I wish you luck and hope you get help my friend.

  • Speak to your dr about getting accomodation in sheltered housing darling as you need a ground floor flat or bungalow.xxxx

  • Have you tried your local church. They might be able to put you in touch with someone who can help you. I wish you the best of luck.

  • I'm not sure if this will help you but I feel so much better since I've been talking 2 table spoons of organic raw extra virgin coconut oil cold pressed and unrefined.m Ake sure it has all I motion. I feel physically and mentally better.

  • Dear Lou,

    sounds like you have a lot going on in your life. if you would like to call the helpline to talk about things please feel free to do so:

    0800 298 7650 Monday - Friday 9.30am -4.30pm

    best wishes

    Beverley (NRAS Helpline)

  • Thank you. I will

  • Bless you, what a bad time you are having! See your GP & explain your situation. I too for reasons had to leave my family home, I moved to a different town. I was offered accommodation but, I couldn't cope practically. An occupational therapist did an assessment of my needs & I had various aids to help me. I wasn't as physically bad as you but, I got things for my needs, e.g. handles in walk in shower, frame around toilet. I even got an allowance for re-allocating & was able to buy a washing machine, bed, etc. You are in a very low place at the moment but, just a relationship breakdown can be bad enough but, being physically ill adds to our misery! I bet all the amazing people on this site are rooting for you like I am. You need to get phoning, ring anybody who maybe able to help you. I'm not sure where I started in this process but CAB are always a good place to begin. I know it's easier said than done but, I believe even though there are many things I physically can't do I can still be proactive in helping myself, I'm so very grateful for the invention of the phone! Keep us informed of your progress, you deserve much more than you are having to put up with! I can guess there will be many more replies to your post with helpful suggestions & empathy!

    Sending you a big hug xx

  • Hi there Lou,

    in my opinion you should post whenever you feel you need a bit of support. Life is clearly extremely tough for you right now and I'm sure I'm not the only person who would like to think that you feel free to turn to this site at any time.

    I notice from another post of yours that you've just started, or are about to start, enbrel. That may well prove to be a game changer for you. It's going to take perhaps a month or two to feel the difference but biologics make a huge difference to many of us. There's also a growing school of thought that PsA responds much better to biologics than to traditional DMARDS.

    The accommodation issues are really tricky. I would imagine that you have a fair way to go before you arrive at somewhere you're much happier with. But if change is what you want, and if you work towards it steadily, you'll get there, you really will. Leonwp's suggestions are good and realistic .... start with the council ASAP. They probably won't have an immediately satisfactory solution, but you need to make (and keep) contact with all the agencies that can provide advice and help. A person who has to be carried upstairs will almost certainly be seen as a priority, and that may result in useful 'leads' / referrals at the very least.

    Meanwhile, make your own little space wherever you are .... and keep your eye on the future, a much better future. There's knee surgery down the line ... another very tough call, but one which again could see a big improvement in your quality of life.

    Thinking of you. Please, please let us know how things go, the bad stuff as well as the good.

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