Learning to put myself first

Learning to put myself first

Goodmorning everyone. Tomorrow I'll be 50 years old and my hubby has been asking me want I want for this milestone. My answer to him? I want to be more relaxed and carefree. I want to be able to say "No" when extended family and friends ask too much of me. My husband agrees. He has alway said "Sue, stop trying to save the world. Think of yourself sometimes." I think I'm going to try and take his advice.

Take care


PS This is a photo of my front garden that my hubby and I created <3

31 Replies

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  • What a lovely garden. We should be able to say No without feeling guilty. Have a lovely birthday

  • Absolutely think of you. I was the same as you - always there for everyone else and couldn't say no but I just can't do it all, all the time.

    True friends and family understand and those that don't, well are they truly friends?

    Be good to yourself and have a fabulous 50th tomorrow ๐ŸŽ‚๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽˆ๐ŸŽ‰

  • Thank you Sanbanan. I've gotta learn to take the time for myself.

  • It hurts like ** not being able to do all you want but you have to look at want you would like to do and want you need to do to achieve that. I feel awfully guilty as it was my Mums birthday earlier in the week but the children have several things to organise and do for this weekend so I have to conserve my energy and pick out the necessary bits. Thankfully she understands but it still hurts me that I have to pick and choose. Farm

  • Happy birthday when it comes. One thing I tried to implement was to delay answering. Can I think about that, I'm not sure I'll get back to you. It seems to make it easier than just saying no. Which is fine anyway!

  • Good idea Cathie. I don't want to be rude so I think saying "I'll get back to you" is a great saying.

  • Love the garden, and love your gift to yourself.

  • Oh darling what a lovely garden. Your right you need to put yourself first,but that is easier said than done darling. Also you want to rest more and again easier said than done.

    I wish you a very happy 50th birthday darling with loads of love from me.xxxxxxx

  • Awe thanks Sylvi. I enjoy looking at your photos of your garden. I thought I should share mine with you :)

  • And i enjoyed lookig at it darling.xxxxxx

  • Happy 50th for tomorrow ๐Ÿ˜€Loving the garden!๐ŸŽ‚๐ŸŒท๐Ÿธx

  • Thank you

  • Hope you have a lovely day tomorrow and good luck with putting yourself first but then saving the world is not a bad idea !!

  • Beautiful garden you have created.

    Happy Birthday for tomorrow.

    And take one step at a time in not being so available . It is hard when you have been doing it so long and it becomes expected of you. So from tomorrow aim for the more relaxed carefree you.


  • Sounds a good hubby, great garden and a fantastic plan

    Happy birthday and good luck

    M x

  • Have a great birthday tomorrow. Hope you succeed in putting yourself first sometimes...I have been trying too, but it's hard to change when you have always been one to give....take it bit by bit, annd don't blame yourself if you don't always get it right. M xx

  • Happy birthday! And you plan sounds excellent! :)

  • Firstly-HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! For tomorrow (which it now is).Hope you have something nice planned.

    When you have always done so much for other folks they just assume that you will carry on doing it.Some of the time it is just down to sheer ignorance of your condition and how it affects you.Other Times it may be just selfishness - I am sure you would be able to wheedle out the genuine ones in all of that.

    However you have a life changing disease which cannot be ignored and others are just going to have to accept that you can no longer just keep on giving so much.

    So a little bit less of feeling guilty.The real true people in your life already know that if you were able to do more then you would be first up to do so. But now it's their turn to do the same for you.

    People that matter won't mind

    People that mind won't matter.

    So don't feel guilty, and turning 50 is a good starting point at which to change.Think of it as a birthday present to yourself,and put yourself first.

    Have a great day whatever you do and what a smashing garden.!



  • Loved the people who mind won't matter and people who matter won't mind.

  • It's what somebody told me once .I didn't believe it at first,but it didn't take long to find out they were right.

    I hadn't forgotten it.



  • Hi suzanndale

    Your husband's right (we usually are ๐Ÿ˜Ž).

    Have a great birthday, not that many years till my big 5 0. Where did that go? ๐Ÿ˜ต



  • Hi, great looking garden. And time you listened to hubby. Have a wonderful bday.

  • Happy birthday for tomorrow ๐Ÿ˜€Love the roses!

  • Happy birthday ๐Ÿ’๐ŸŽˆ๐ŸŽ‚

  • Beautiful garden, definitely care for your self, they will hopefully appreciate you more when you can say yes. Learning to say no without feeling guilty is very hard, you can do it. Happy birthday and good luck xx

  • A very happy birthday to you. xx Ah, just looking at your garden is relaxing :)

  • Go for it girl. By thinking of yourself first you'll be happier and that in turn will reflect on others. So everybody is a winner. Happy happy happy lovey birthday.

  • Happy Birthday! Such a lovely garden :)

  • Enjoy your special day!Happy birthday and many happy returns.... Whatever the number!

  • Sue you are so right, and hubby too of course, it's your life so you have to live it to your standards not others. Stick to your commitment and I can assure you your life will be so much more 'liveable'. This disease means we have to so no every now and then and you have no reason to feel guilty about this decisions......let others get the message and they will soon learn to accommodate you. Have a happy 50th......I'd give my top row of teeth to be 50 again! XXXX

  • Many happy returns Sue!

    Hope your birthday was utterly splendid relaxed and carefree! Plus this continues going forwards.

    Very best regards to you.


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