After reading a post by mattcass I became concerned about the way the like button is used here.
The post read....
After the last three weeks which have been great my RA decides to remind me it's still there in agony all over nothing working to help relieve it been here since four oclock this morning hope it goes away soon I thing the trip into Edinburgh yeserday might have triggered it off.
We can't show support in the forums current configuration without actually writing a message and that isn't always possible.
We need more buttons!
The fact that someone liked matts message gives me concern.
Obviously, I understand the like was a show of support for matt, but I think we should examine the potential negatives of liking a negative?
Personally I felt deep sorrow for you matt and couldn't like the post if I tried?
This stops me pressing the button and showing love.
Maybe this board needs some better buttons so we can convey our true feelings of support to each other.
A range of Emoticons might be good like the new ones they have on facebook.
Worryingly enough there is a potential for psychosomatic issues creeping in here that admin should be aware of?
If we are all going to be better we need to start with our emotional awareness just as much as our physical mechanical issues. Anything to help us stop reinforcing negative restricting views on disease, and that helps us express hope for posters, would be better than liking anguished messages like poor old matts....... Just a thought.
Please be aware I'm not criticising anyone! Merely bringing attention to a very subtle mental emotional process that is well documented in science.
Love you all for showing your support through the like button, but the current system could be much better.
Discuss....
Have a great pain free day all!
Hugs,
Wade Tate
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WadeTate
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I know what you mean. How can you 'like' something that is something bad happening. It's the same on Facebook. There was a plan to introduce a 'dislike' button, but nothing has appeared yet. Possibly because it could lead to discord. It's easy to 'like' something so it makes people happy. But if you 'dislike' something it is a one word answer so people could get upset. 'Why don't you like what I posted? I hate you now'. See what I mean? I think people use the 'like' button, merely as a show of support and as you say it saves people writing long replies.....like mine 😂
Unfortunately it's standard template & included at the end of a post whether it's a positive or negative one. I was one invited to be included on the trial when the latest changes were made & it wasn't something raised or recommended by anyone so feel maybe it's not been much of a issue generally, certainly not acted on anyhow. My thoughts are we figuratively know one another & each appreciate no harm would be meant should a "Like" be left on a less positive post, rather taken as a show of support. Personally I rarely use it & prefer to leave a message or "Like" someone else's post if on the rare occasion I come on the site & I'm in a rush. That said I tend to come here when I've a bit of time so generally do have time to leave my own message however short.
If you wish to you could leave your thoughts with the HU Admin team (base of each page) Support > Help Centre > Email Us.
I posted here with the intention of creating discussion around how the individual users felt about not being able to show their feelings through the like button.
A discussion with user backing would be more helpful to changing this situation so I'm not going to mention it to admin just yet.
For anything to change we usually have to have a shared need and enough people interested, so I'll wait and see how this develops.
Your point that most people know each other on here is a valid one, but healthunlocked.com is a very large website. it gets 900,000 hits a month of which 450,000 of those are direct searches with the great majority of them being new people.
We have a lot of lurkers who are not engaging. Bringing some easily to use expressive emoticons might bring a few of these people out of the woodwork and improve our overall knowledge base. After all, a forum is only as good as the knowledge and engagement of it's members.
Writing is not easy for most people, and time is more valuable than gold.
Anything that allows us to interact easily and support each other more positively would be a great addition in my opinion.
Here's a question or two ...
How many people do you think are missing a chance to interact through this poorly though out user experience?
I am one example today. I was bound not to support Matt because of my sorrow for his situation. I avoided that contact because it felt wrong to like a problem.
How much better would people feel if they saw 26 smiley faces and 12 faces of sheer joy as a response to a post? Wouldn't that encourage more interaction and posting? And would it create better feeling or make people more positive.
Positivity and happiness help our bodies achieve their greatest levels of epi genetic expression. That is a science fact and a disease killer.
Coming on and having a good moan is great for unburdening your mind. However, it's not generally a positive interaction and doesn't do much for people at the genetic level.
My hope is to try and bring awareness to this possible sub conscious psychosomatic down regulation and to combat it with some bright shiney buttons that promote interaction, growth of the board, and growth of the individual.
Every little helps.
Thanks for the time taken to post the link and enjoy the rest of your evening.
Unfortunately we can't force people to come on here only welcome them if they wish to. As it is if a post is unlocked those on social media sites are able to read often personal posts, that's been a point of concern since it was introduced. If a non member feels it would be helpful to answer or post a question they will & as long as they're genuinely helpful or in need of help be it experience or advice they're welcome.
I use the odd emoticon but not generally in place of words & I know a few who dislike the use of them at all, that's their choice of course but I fail to see how one choice of a smiling, frowning etc face can cover what is often a distressing post reaching out for support & answers to difficult questions. I would no more have just put a frowning face under Matt's reply than choose not to answer. It's distant at best I feel, not at all personal.
This is one place where members can come to offload or have a moan, in fact we encourage it, we know how it is better than anyone & often it's the case even close family don't understand. Many don't belong to social media for good reason & even more don't blog about their condition as it's just not their cup of tea. They feel safe to talk here, even those on social media who prefer not to discuss their health related problems on Facebook feel they can here & be assured it doesn't reach family or friends who don't or won't understand.
Great to hear your final opinion on this. Duly noted.
Do you think emoticons and these types of interaction will flourish in the future of the web? Facebook adding them should give us every indication that we need to keep an eye on emoticons because they are not going away.
The addition and cross board acceptance in HTML 5 and wordpress points to the fact that emoticons are going to become the norm, no matter how much we dislike them.
If we jettison all possibility of adding these fun and expressive sprites, do you think this board will become less relevant in the future? By not moving with the times and sharing the love this board could become obsolete.
I have seen many boards reduced to ghost towns as a result of being stuck in the past. New features come out, people move on and attitudes change. Lets hope negativity and lack of vision doesn't stagnate this boards growth going forward.
Where would we go to air our troubles then? A better board with happier people I suspect.
My initial observation wasn't that I couldn't put a dislike to matts post, far from it? I would of liked to have the opportunity to share some empathy without having to write a post. That's a simple solution to a simple problem in my view. Maybe a broken heart with flowers around it would be appropriate for showing empathy?
Neither would I like to see a negative button or anything like it. In my view that wouldn't help anyone.
Many of us don't have the time, or want, to engage in every post that comes along.
The idea was to illustrate we could do better by employing a set of positive emoticons that convey our true feeling and can be used on smaller devices such as smart phones.
People on low incomes like most of us on support and people in the developing world will undoubtedly use this board in the coming years. Catering for all of those people should be our concern and could organically increase engagement, helping more people overcome disease in the process.
Users can still use the board for moaning, or whatever else they feel is appropriate given the rules.xx
I know change is difficult but never would I thought that something positive and seemingly innocuous would elicit such passionate debate?
Have a super evening and thanks for your comments.
We've rubbed along quite well so far so no, I don't think for the lack of smiley faces the site could become obsolete or stagnate it's growth. The people here make it & aren't here to look for approval in the way of emoticons. If they're included in text that's fine but it's not a game it's real life with people who struggle at times & a few words say a thousand more than a generic face.
Personally I don't use any other sites so if emoticons took over the world it wouldn't rock mine.
Please don't think I'm suggesting you have any unmet approval needs or are seeking a pat on the head for every post you write. I can see you're not like that and genuinely care.
We should all get along as best we can and share as much love, knowledge and encourage each other when possible.
I don't actually care if this is taken up or not? WE are talking theoretically and the idea is but a tiny embryo of a thing.
What does disturb me somewhat is that I have felt like I made some ridiculous suggestion and should stop speaking? lol
My observation was based on thinking that the board in it's current form is lacking in a vital area.
The discussion we are having was started to try and rat these concepts out, but I care not? I have no personal investment in the idea other than having the thought.
It would of been nice if the discussion could result in some positive suggestions or original ideas. That would be way better than plain old NO.
This board will likely get along without any added bells and whistles, but we probably all thought it was ok before it had it's new look?
Boards come and go, that is a fact of life. Someone will pick these ideas up and run with them and may or may not make a better job of serving communities.
Make no mistake, technology waits for no one.
Anyways, positive solutions are more than welcome.
And please remember I have nothing invested in this or any agenda other than playing devils advocate in a way that makes people actually think.
I just want to stimulate debate and see if there is a better way to share the love.
It didn't cross my mind you could have had an invested interest but you did ask for a discussion & that's what's happened. If the consensus is it's not favoured then that's as it is, we don't all agree with the suggestion. Don't make more of it than it is, a discussion & putting forth our reasons as you have yours.
I was hoping it would generate ideas or at least some suggestions of how to fix a gaping hole in this forum.
A lot of anguished cries for help are offered here that we simply can't help with. Do we have to like every moan and groan just because it's the best we can do if were pushed for time, and do you agree it feels counter intuitive?
What are your thoughts on that?
Not everyone has to agree with something for it to be implemented?
If some thing makes another thing better shouldn't it be tried? Or do we throw it away because the first three people who hear of it don't agree?
But it's your opinion it'd make it better not the majority & a majority is what wins a vote. You said yourself that user backing & shared need what was needed & you've got your answer.
I don't understand re a lot of anguished cries. I disagree if you mean if we cannot attempt to be of help or empathetic if help isn't required or appropriate. Either don't reply if you don't have the time or revisit the post & reply when you do, ignore the "Like" button, it's not imperative you use it, it's an option. Nobody expects everyone to reply to their posts but we do appreciate the input of those who do.
I doubt I've got an outright answer from 3 people?
Are there more than three people reading this board? I would hope so or they already went elsewhere.
The point is an opportunity is being missed to show your solidarity to a poster through an emoticon for whatever reason. Time, can't be bothered, don't care, too busy sharpening my teeth, who cares?
The current button isn't fit for purpose.
Do you think the current problem needs a solution? And what do you think to the image I shared in the original post to illustrate the type of thing I mean?
I don't see a problem so no need for a solution. As the image you added isn't an option I have no feelings good or bad, I'd still reply & express my feelings if I felt my message could be helpful as I always have rather than just leave a "Like" to the post.
Disagree entirely! Emoticons are perfectly fine for reviewing a film, or pictures or to add a bit of humour to a text but I find them completely vacuous and entirely unsuitable as a means to comment on real life. They trivialise human emotions to a ridiculous degree, as I find it nonsense to think we can have a meaningful interaction using little coloured blobs. Life stops being about sticking coloured stars on a chart once you leave primary school.
I would also not gain anything from unknown people responding to anything I did by awarding me coloured blobs as this has no real meaning for me, and is certainly not the way I'd gain positive feedback. Getting a message that someone I have some knowledge of has read and liked my text does have meaning, and I'd like to think I'm able to understand what a "like" means when attached to a more difficult post.
And trying to stimulate growth for growth's sake I also find rather odd. There is no way a single forum can meet the needs of everyone, and it seems rather futile to try. Rather have many different ones and people can use the ones they find most suited to their needs/interests.
You certainly do have a strong opinion on trying to create positive spaces that hear people into speech?
I think you are somewhat missing the point?
This is not about just you, but your opinion is very welcome.
What doesn't suit you may be entirely suitable for another, and I am glad you have issued your strongly worded opinion on this.
I think it goes in the negative pile of replies and will be given the due respect and equal weight it deserves.
The idea is to engage people who are not engaging and build good feeling in the board. It is not a cop out or way to avoid writing messages?
Your own feelings are very strong and leave no doubt about your hate for 16 x 16 pixel images of smiling faces. Why not just use the word emoticon rather than saying little coloured blobs? To try and ridicule the idea or diminish the poor loveless sprites to playground badges is not helpful.
Sharing a loving feeling takes but a second, feeling an emotion after coming into contact with a beautiful flower, or seeing the smiling face of a child has a greater effect on us than all of the tea and sympathy the human race can muster. Should we not use it to our advantage?
Remember this is not a system of rating?
We are not seeing who can get the most likes?
None of us are free from disease until we are all free!
I never said I was trying to stimulate growth, Just engage some of the lurkers?
Agreed, one forum should not have the final say on what is right and wrong? A healthy eco system needs lots of voices, even negative ones.
Your input is very much appreciated and I hope we can carry on the conversation and work out some of these points together. Doing so airs all of the points and gives us a better solution that we can all share in.
Do you have any positive suggestions on how we could improve the board?
One final thought....
Trying is never futile? Good job life doesn't share your sentiments on that one. lol
English (and other languages) have been evolving and changing for thousands of years. I find it rather sad if language is being reduced to 'text' speak, or as helix forcefully puts it, 'little coloured blobs'. As I said, I used emoticons in posts on Facebook but in context and after I have written a post. Does anyone really think it will encourage those 'lurkers' as you call them to use this forum more by actually replying to a post or writing their own? I doubt it. So by giving people the option of loads of different levels of emoticons to click on. Nah! Not for me I'm afraid. 😃 lol as they say.
Point taken and vote well and truly counted, thanks.
Your fears about language are unfounded.
Language will continue to evolve, and despite your pessimism, will not descend into some form of slang terminology because it is used in forum. You already know this?
Books taught people to read, the web taught people to write.
To assume anything else is invalid. As a race of world peoples in general, nothing has accelerated the understanding of language like the internet.
It is the central nervous system of the world and everyone who writes in these pages, no matter what their level of understanding or intelligence is profoundly valuable.
All writings are valuable at every level, and shouldn't be disrespected for fear of what might become of the words.
Language will outlive us all and will die with us all.
No worries that you don't like the idea, I dont actually care. But what do you propose we do about the problem of liking a negative that I alluded to earlier?
Shall we just leave it in its imperfect state?
I think your being a little pithy by suggesting we have a whole raft of icons? You know very well I suggested using a similar style to the facebook icons. All tiny 6 of them that you can only use once per post, not loads on different levels as you put it?
Be good if we could avoid the histrionics please, they disrupt the flow of the debate.
Thanks for your thoughts though.
Any lurkers out there please feel free to jump in!
Thanks helixhelix, for putting MY thoughts into words and saving me time and effort!! S.xx
I tend to agree with helixhelix. I think a few words can say a lot .... a lot more than an emoticon can. I tend to be a bit wordy, which I guess is okay but I'm often impressed by short responses that say it all. And often that's got nothing to do with command of written english, I don't think you need to be William Shakespeare to post here or to express yourself perfectly well.
If I got a few 'likes' for a post that described a difficult situation I'd just assume they were tokens of support, I've not seen them misused at all. And anyway, people can always post a super-short reply with emoticons in and often do. I'm sure I've seen some replies that consist entirely of emoticons.
To be honest I think this site works well. I reckon there's a great mix of people and it is very friendly. There are always going to be some who prefer to read posts rather than contribute and that is a valid use of sites like this .... you can learn a lot, find reassurance and feel less alone just by reading through.
Bonesmart - the hip/knee replacement forums - have 'Like', 'Useful' and 'Agree' options. They also have a wide range of emoticons, including standard ones like smiles and sad faces, and 'bespoke' ones suitable for the forum like a cartoon of someone with their feet up on a block of ice! I quite like emoticons, personally. They don't take the place of words IMO, but compensate a bit for the fact that we don't have facial expressions and tones of voice to make use of when we type and read
I have updated the original post with exactly what I had in mind to avoid any confusion.
If you hate it then fine, but please be aware these are the facebook icons used for illustration and I don't want to get into a debate about the individual icons.
I think the important purpose of this forum is to offer support , advice and help to people with RD. I think it works well, we don't need emoticons to understand and empathise with each other.To me that's what is important. M x
I am totally confused by all this...as one who does use the "little coloured blobs" a lot in my replies. I tend to use them as words can be taken the wrong way on here sometimes and I use them to enforce what I'm saying and that it is without malice. Honestly, I think there are more important things to be worrying about to be honest!! I am all for them...each to their own!
No, of course it isn't. Who would like a post where the poster is obviously unwell BUT when I have seen these types of posts "liked" I've taken it as a sign of support for the poster..personally I would show my support with a reply. I use the like button for when I genuinely like something or agree with what's being said. I am all for emoctions or buttons..to enforce what I am saying or showing my support especially when we are not face to face etc...not everyone has a way with words or are great at writing epic posts on how they are feeling. I agree with you in the fact that it could be supporting the fact that someone is unwell instead of encouraging them it's certainly one for a debate but you're never going to please everyone! I admire you for having the balls to raise this on here. Best wishes to Matt by the way...I hope you feel better soon 😀
You are correct, I don't know you to judge you and should have said 'wow, your comment was patronising' ..... I have no trouble with the like button as in Matt's case I would press like to show support,now I feel bad for missing Matt's post!! Will read it now Matt x
I think you are trying to twist my words now. No, I'm not saying this at all...BUT you must have known when you originally posted it would cause....mmmm let's say ...a debate?!!! Enough said now..Best wishes to you.
No way am I trying to twist your words? Why would I do that in the context of that message, it holds no value? I merely responded to what I thought was a very odd and somewhat fearful remark.
Maybe you were trying to warn me to shut up and put it more succinctly than I could gather.
In hindsight you might of been correct.
I always hope to cause debate...it's a forum?
The mistake would be to try and presume my intent.
I get the feeling from your post that talking out of line isn't welcome and that maybe you feel afraid to broach the subject yourself? Maybe I have that wrong too? It is very possible.
This I know.......No one should ever feel afraid to speak out, that is what's wrong with this world.
If we had better leaders, who followed their hearts and not their heads, we would all live in a less fearful place where free debate was championed above all things. As it was in ancient Greece and Rome.
If people are making others feel afraid to speak it isn't me who needs to be quiet?
I value free will and self determination above everything on this planet. If I see that being removed from another I will challenge it lovingly . Be that here or anywhere else. It is my duty to do so.
That's not me looking for a fight either before we get embroiled.lol
Anyway, I'm sure that would never happen and I just hit a nerve on a weekend?
Have a great evening and come and say hi soon. I look forward to chatting because you seem like a really kind soul.
The point was never about subjective views on emoticons?
The point was to address the gaping hole that is liking the unlikeable.
I only suggested emoticons as one possible solution. I find it most unfortunate that no one offered a counter solution or anything remotely positive.
My well meaning intention sought to find a better solution for the way the forum doesn't appear to perform well.
Ticks
Different wording on the button
Not having a like button
Forcing reply
A range of philosophical quotes
A private message button for direct contact
A way to post pictures
A way to link to threads people in similar situations found helpful
All possible replies or options that could of been discussed in this debate but no. Nothing of the like surfaced, in fact few positive comments or supportive were made at all?
Until just now.
Thank you.
Best wishes,
Wade Tate
Oh WadeTate you've made me laugh! I've been searching for an appropriate emoticon to express my total discombobulation but I fear it does not exist. How come someone who is prepared to argue the toss about something at such unbelievably great length wants emoticons to save time & effort??!
Just trying to shed light on a problem I came across.
Apparently the problem of liking a negative doesn't exist?
If we all gave up talking after the first negative reply we would have no discussion at all.
The only reason any of this is getting aired is because I'm prepared to put myself at the mercy of the people who use this board to find a better resolution to a current problem that exists.
A vexed topic. Emoticons arrived as a result of terse formats for expression, as in SMS /text messages, when they first appeared. They were economic ways to convey feelings. But the little symbols are insufficient to express the complexity of our emotions - especially I think for a topic such as we are afflicted with.
I find they can trivialise a response and I only use a limited number - I prefer to use words from my mother tongue.
Having said that, I'd prefer to have a like button as an 'Agree' button. It would cover more accurately the sentiment I have for a lot of the comments. It would also not take too much recoding - and as a developer of websites, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't take too much effort <<--- there you go! OMG! LOLz...
Thanks for your very balanced and considered reply.
Communicating in pictures predates the use of writing by millennia.
To discard the use of writing in pictures would be to give up the liberal arts and burn the great works of art that speak to our very soul. Rightly understood these modes of communication say more than words.
Being a developer of websites I am sure you are aware of the now standard set for emoji's in HTML5, wordpress and others by unicode 7.0 and it's previous iterations that have lead to this point?
Emoticons are here to stay.
Currently there are 1,022,046,624 active uses of the face with tears of joy on twitter.
These little sprites are helping people globally to express feelings where language creates a barrier. Anyone who thinks different is simply being pedantic.
If that doesn't make for increased engagement I don't know what does. It may not happen today, but soon....Very soon!
You raise some very valid concerns and points but I don't agree that use of emoticons diminishes the art of communication. Quite the opposite for the reasons set out above.
Current trends seem to vindicate this view, but no matter this isn't about emoticons?
Thank you for sharing your considered thoughts and have a great day.
All my very best,
Wade Tate
Anyone like to add an objective view on how we could improve on liking a negative without emoticons, Please jump in anytime you like.
Communicating in pictures predates the use of writing by millennia.
:: And their limitations made a movement to a more complex character based expression. I could equally argue that once the flexibility and richness of words arrived, those hieroglyphs were history. Two reeds, anyone?
To discard the use of writing in pictures would be to give up the liberal arts and burn the great works of art that speak to our very soul. Rightly understood these modes of communication say more than words.
:: Whoa there tiger, we're taking about the use of emoticons in modern day communication methods and formats, not the use of religious icons or what Da Vinci et al was knocking out. All those works of art were expressing higher ideals of life, death and aspiration, not a condensed small format of a facial expression because we didn't want to run to another text message when they cost 50p a time. That's conflation of arguments there.
Being a developer of websites I am sure you are aware of the now standard set for emoji's in HTML5, wordpress and others by unicode 7.0 and it's previous iterations that have lead to this point?
Emoticons are here to stay.
:: Yeap they were there in the 128 ASCII character set from the old IBM PC days. I stunned people by including them in letters. Yes they are here to stay, but in a different venue to this one, I'll posit. (BTW, Wordpress is a blogging / CMS bunch of code, not any sort of a 'standard' which HTML or unicode has. And HTML is at it's core a page description language (ref: SGML) - I think you might have been referring to UTF-8 & unicode as the character set which does have this: 😣 and others... There are currently 74 candidates - not ratified - for emoticons for UFT-8. I am at a loss on how I would use a squid emoticon though... even a kiwifruit has limited use for me.)
Currently there are 1,022,046,624 active uses of the face with tears of joy on twitter.
:: I don't think that's helping your argment - a billion users are not going to be expressing the same thing with one 'tears of joy' emoticon - or is that 'laughing so hard I'm crying'. Or perhaps 'dicing onions'...?
These little sprites are helping people globally to express feelings where language creates a barrier. Anyone who thinks different is simply being pedantic.
:: I'm surprised you have summarily dismissed those people who have expressed preferences for words in this post. And, as this environment is in english (to use a text based meme) 'your argument is invalid'. And are you meaning pedantic in the vernacular form (argumentative), or in a dictionary form (disputing the definition of a word). I'll accept your response in an emoticon... *wink*.
If that doesn't make for increased engagement I don't know what does. It may not happen today, but soon....Very soon!
:: Now, I could see a time when emoticons emerge as a written form of communication and have indeed seen competitions where emoticons were used exclusively for express sentences, but the rules were written in - words. But it has it's limitations for when you want to convey distinctions that are beyond a facial expression. They are used to express states of emotion, but I've not seen any to allow me to quickly and effectively express, 'could you walk the dogs as I've got snarled up in traffic'...
You raise some very valid concerns and points but I don't agree that use of emoticons diminishes the art of communication. Quite the opposite for the reasons set out above.
:: What I'm saying is that emoticons have limitations and I prefer to use them in a limited way. I think it can deteriorate communication as if you are using emoticons with an audience who do not use them, your message is being lost and one would not be an effective communicator.
Current trends seem to vindicate this view, but no matter this isn't about emoticons?
:: Trends wax and wane - that's why they're trends. Now I'll take you to task: #&$ is that question mark on the end of the sentence for?!?! Rising intonation in text?!? You were making a statement weren't you? Or asking for verification that the post is about the facilities available, rather than emoticons? Now that's one commonly used symbol from our indo-european language and I'm not sure how you meant to use it.
Oh and on your request for a contribution "improve on liking a negative without emoticons" - perhaps the lack of suggestions shows the limitations of emoticons...
Just a quick point because I don't have much time...
You wrote " request for a contribution "improve on liking a negative without emoticons"
perhaps the lack of suggestions shows the limitations of emoticons..."
My point was ask to get away from the talk about emoticons. Why bring it up again and not answer your own question properly? The statement doesn't make any sense.
What would help the problem of not liking the unlikeable without using emojis?
I'll answer that in any way you prefer to keep the peace & bring an end to all this daftness. I've never known anything like it, all over something you'd like & most wouldn't! Pushing for people to answer your question when you asked for a debate.... check the OD definition & I think you'll find that's what you got. Then look up controversy & you got that too, bonus.
Are you not understanding? It's not a laughing matter, you've caused ructions in an otherwise happy community & please stop with the affected valedictions, I would not assume everyone accepts "hugs", "peace", "x" at first contact, I find it inappropriate.
It comes over as insincere, throwaway when you don't know someone, as you rightly say strangers, by that I mean not had regular contact with, that's all so don't take it to heart.
If we're getting nowhere & going over the same old ground it's hardly a reason to continue.
I don't take heart from it? It's not a issue for me because I don't hold onto those emotions. I let them go easily.
Seriously, I have way moved on.
To me we are in a totally different phase of our relationship and getting to know each other through our shared experience from earlier on.
I accept that the emoticon thing is done and it's cool. I'm pleased it got aired and it didn't work out. It obviously reached the right level and is over. Smiles.
That has gone aren't we talking about other issues now. Can't we move on and just chat about random stuff like friends?
I'm sure no one who was in need ever thought a random act of kindness was a throw away event.
Yielding with love is a sign of strength not weakness. I don't feel threatened by my failure to invigorate the discussion I started. x
If you want the subject to be closed then that's fine, but the debate wasn't satisfied in any way was it.
All we got was a discussion on emoticons and not one suggestion from anyone on how this might be improved.
I fail to see how good people don't have any ideas about this. You obviously have great intelligence.......Including a computer programmer who does this for a living.
I hope you don't take it personally because my responses to you all have been meant in good jest, with love, or as I said playing devils advocate to try and illicit a response on the nub of this question.
A question that still lacks an answer.
I am sorry if this got tiresome for you, but we often have to thrash things out and move through them to get to where we need to be. A bit like RA.
Debate should never be stifled, no matter how tiresome the problem at hand gets to discuss.
My intention is not to wind you up or sit here typing for the fun of it. I am a very busy guy. Responding to you all is a big job and I'm just one tiny voice among many of you.
I have a great desire to chat on this board and do some good so we may as well leave this question unanswered for now.
The last thing I want is the original objective, improving the board in a positive way, being clouded with possible negative feeling.
I am powered by positive energy and though and anything that diminishes that feeling me inside of me has to be let go. Maybe this is one of thoe things I can't help with at this time, but that's ok too.
Just because it got difficult to discuss doesn't mean any bad feeling is attached to this board? Quite the opposite!
Nothing has to be so serious that it can't be discussed, even an ideas apparent failure to gain traction. I guess time will tell if we could of done more to communicate better or improve peoples experience of the board.
Sometimes you have to fight for what you want and this was one of those times I had to show some passion. You get nothing if you don't ask and sometimes eggs do have to get broken.
We would all do well to remember that when we fight against disease.
My final thought on emoticons....
Smile and the world smiles with you.
Thank you for all your replies and thoughts. If anyone would like to PM me and chat one to one I'd be happy to hear from you and try to help with your condition.
Best wishes and don't forget I consider you all friends on the same journey.
Ok, we don't want the improvement you suggest, I think that's been made clear so maybe concentrate on supporting people in the conventional way. That's the reason we're all here, to support & be supported.
Oh I never give up hope, I've retained a few favourites but unfortunately my orthotics mean they no longer fit even if I could stand up in them! I'll never bin them though, they're a reminder of prettier feet.
Yes, let's not forget what the forum is about. Debates about changing/ fixing/ improving the forum structure is detracting from what this forum members do extremely well, whether they use the like button or not, they do a tremendous job of listening, empathising, instilling hope and helping people to do what is in their gift.
Why does the forum just have to be about one thing though? It's not like I started 10 threads on how things should be done. To me it was one glaring problem I made a post on and the next thing it was something totally different.
Sorry, it's just the restriction thing that gets at me. Anyways, that's done now so I'll not mention it again unless prompted.
I promise I'll giving as much hope, encouragement and love as anyone else and will gladly give my time to help anyone who needs it.
Early day teething problems aside I think i get the message and will become one of the most vocal and helpful people here.
If I thought it was important I'd honestly tell you, even if was STFU! It wasn't by the way.
I don't use that kind of language and you wouldn't be able to draw me to that anyhow.
Hope your having a great evening and feeling calm?
Honestly, I probably wrote something and decided not to waste any more energy on things that don't represent my best light, or don't make you feel amazing.
Maybe I just took the hint to STFU?
I felt that I was trying to stick to the points but was getting dragged all over the place. I'm sure this has been way more confusing to me?
For the record I've been using wordpress from day one and couldn't be bothered to get into a argument about what was code and what was a CMS?
We both clearly know.
My point was that wordpress had taken emojis on as a standard, I felt it important to point that out. It illustrated my point.
To me you were off point because we were no longer talking about directly related stuff. We had gone onto who has more computer knowledge and that's not productive. It turned into electronic penis measuring and I won't partake in the degrading influences of competition. Not because I can't but it sets one against another and makes building strong future ties more difficult.
I think I may of wanted to state that or some such thing but it's gone now? I hope we can chat about computer stuff sometime, we may even be able to help each other out? I always need good freelance people to help me out and I reward them as is appropriate.
I don't mind being shut out of the conversation, but I won't trade insults ever.
There is nothing wrong with a bit of verbal jousting to keep the mind sharp but when it gets to personal stuff I'm out.
To me chatting and exercising our minds is never a bad thing, I love being challenged like that and expect others to actively join in and try to be nice. I think we all did ok...maybe it's because I'm new here?
Well let's just say it was uncalled for, I didn't instigate it I only replied. If you recall I asked that a line could be drawn under it 9 hours ago so let's leave it at that.
Yeah stuff happens, but we're cool now. Peace be with you and yours.
You seem to be the most vocal poster I have encountered on here and that's great, I like passionate, engaged people. You are clearly one.
Do you mind me asking if you are a moderator or something? You seem to be the powerful one who gives the nudges regarding when a thread is over?
I haven't heard that from anyone else or seen any badges that might indicate a position of responsibility. I'm just guessing you are and want to be informed.
I need to know who I should be listening to for guidance. If so, I think your doing a good job.
Thanks for showing me kindness and not pulling rank on me.
Maybe, I can learn from you, but I can't shut up through orders, it goes against everything I hold dear.
No. Just gave my viewpoint & replied to your replies. You'll notice the longer you're here that the Administrators have their picture, their first name & NRAS plus Administrator alongside.
We're all equal here. Victoria & Beverley from NRAS moderate when it's needed. But it's far better not to need this type of intervention and have respect for each other & self-regulate.
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Who would like 15 minutes (or more) of fame? (Star on Hollywood Walk of Fame not guaranteed)
Treated like a second class citizen.
Changing to tocilizumab
Change of medication 
