Permission

[Azabat]

I give myself permission to give up,

But today my cat is companionable as a hug,

She purrs and snores by turns,

On a cushion atop my desk.

The baby crows have fledged,

They dance the sky in raw delight,

Hopping from my skylight to the cherry tree,

Laughing raucous joy at their own cleverness.

I might give up tomorrow,

If I haven't made other plans,

But today I'll sip my coffee,

Pet my cat,

Breathe deep,

And smile.

M Statham 2015

aka Bats

[heathersmum]

Hi Bat,

What a lovely poem.

I feel like giving up at the moment. My methotrexate has made me very sick so I am coming off of that one, and next week when i see the Rheumatologist she is going to put me on something else. Also I feel absolutely exhausted as if I could sleep forever.

I hope you are okay . Xxx😃

[Azabat in reply to heathersmum]

Physically, I'm pretty crappy today - I think it's still the leflunomide, but it makes mtx days much worse again. The weather here has settled down to a much more pleasant temperature, and I'm planning to go to the coast on Wednesday for a few days. I empathize with the exhaustion in a big way, and I'm pretty nervous about the bus ride. Kelly has a disc-golf tournament in Vancouver, and I'm going to stay with my brother and his wife until Sunday.

I think permission to give up is permission not to fight what is, at least for today. I have to stick this med out for the full six weeks (halfway there!) but I feel pretty much like something the cat left in the litter box

I'm tired and I'm sick, and I'm getting tested for lupus (which would explain so very much, but also scares the crap out of me), but it's too glorious a day for giving up. So I'll send a little of my glorious day your way, and hope it keeps you afloat, too.

xxx

[Jora]

Love it!

J xx

[Jora]

Love it!

Jo xx

[Jora]

Yes, I often get congratulated for Fighting. What would really be an achievement for me is Acceptance; acceptance of what is right now, acceptance of self. Permission is the prerequisite for that, I think.

J x

[Azabat]

I think so too, Jo. It's hard to give up a lifetime's habit of flinging stubborn at a problem until it goes away. It's a bit of precarious balance, but I do genuinely feel like it's okay today to be as I am.

xxM

[mary53]

Lovely poem...I will join for an afternoon of giving up having done too much this morning. Hugs

[Azabat in reply to mary53]

Hugs back I'm glad to share my giving up, especially with a fellow Mary!

[hatshepsut]

What a lovely picture. ......so miss my cats, and their warm purry furry presence. M x

[Smiler53]

Love it. x

[lfu2]

Thank you. You have brightened my day.