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Hi it has been a long time since I posted.My mum passed away last week, I am now in the middle of a huge flare & was looking for any advise?

Following the funeral, my hand has swollen up, as has my ankle. I am having bloods tmaro to check ESR & CRP.I am on 10 Mtx, & Humira injections, all has been stable for a couple of years now. I have delayed an ankle fusion because of mum's illness, my wrist has always given me trouble. Really just wondering has this happened anyone else. As is it wasn't bad enough the grief, now I have unbearable pain too. I Will see my Consultant next week, but do not want steroids. Anyone else go thru this, and like to advise. :(

10 Replies

Hello I am so sorry about your mum! I can't offer much advise I am afraid but just wanted to say I hope you ease the flare soon.Maybe you could ask your gp or phone the rheumatology helpline and see if they have any advice. Take care x


Condolences on your sad loss. It may sound a bit strange, and I am probably wrong, but I wonder if stress might be a contributory factor in the onset of the swellings. I would have a long talk with your consultant and explain what you have been going through. Now your mum has passed, it is now time for your health to take first priority. Grief is never easy, but it does get easier eventually. Hope you will soon feel better.

Pam x


Hello, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Losing your mum is awful at any time and as Pam said is probably what is behind the current flare.

This may be asking the impossible but what you really need to do is to stop for a while and rest up. Give your body a chance to catch up with itself. A bit of pampering, hot water bottles and a good book or film to help you relax. Hopefully it will be short-lived.

Take care. xx


I'm so sorry to hear of your sad loss. As the others have said, stress may well have triggered this flare just to add to your woes. Try to rest up as much as you can, and look after yourself.

Much love,

Dotty xx


Hi thanks for replies, I am sure is stress too, will it ease of its own accord do u think if I rest? I am seeing rheumy Tues & new bloods, just bit worried as so unexpected. Hope Humira hasn't stopped working. Tmaro aft bed for me with hot waty & book. Xx


So sorry to hear about your mum. I have to say I think grief but probably more importantly stress are factors in RA. I developed RA soon after my mum died. Naturally there was grief but there was also prolonged severe stress due to family pressure and I am sure that contributed. I notice now that when I am stressed the RA flares! So definitely, as others have said, relax, hot water bottles, a good book or film and sink into a warm comfy bed. It will take time but it will improve. Best wishes for an improvement soon!

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My consultant is the most lovely lady and as I been going through a bad flare and she knows tablet form Steroids don't agree with me ahe gave me a slow release steroid injection in my bottom as she said an early christmas present this I had on Tues and already feeling the benifits. Why not ask your consultant hope you feel better soon I'm so sorry to hear your sad news .


It's acknowledged on the ARC mind map of RA that emotionally stressful events are a contributory factor in triggering flares. This happened to me when my Dad died and the consultant explained that stress impacts our immune system, so any big life event like a close bereavement is bound to impact an autoimmune disease. It's unlikely to go by itself so I would accept a steroid injection and be kind to yourself:-}

I'm really sorry for your loss and hope that you have someone to support you through this.

Cece x


So sorry for your loss. Stress always does me. Do take a steroid injection if poss, and spoil yourself a bit.

Hope the pain eases soon. M x


I am so sorry for your loss. Any stressful event can trigger a flare and all the grief of losing your Mum and then the funeral would take its toll on a fully well person, never mind someone with our conditions. It could be that with your Mum being ill you've been ignoring your pain and now as you've been able to relax even just a little, it's come back with a bang.

Don't let anyone tell you hw to grieve for your Mum, or for how long

Do whatever gives you the most peace of mind.

Look after yourself,




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