Hiya all.sorry for the depressing question. On Saturday I had quite a bad day. By the evening I was quite low.

[jaqi1]

And for about an hour i had some very very strong feelings to just end it all . The next day I was quite scared about how strong my feelings were . has anyone else felt like this x

[Victoria-NRAS Partner Moderator NRAS]

Hi Jaqi

I'm really sorry to hear this. Unfortunately, depression is a recognised symptom of rheumatoid arthritis, but having said that, it sounds like this may have been beyond the levels of depression that might be expected with this condition and I think that you should probably seek some specialist help, even if you're starting to feel a bit better now.

I would suggest that it's worth having a conversation with your GP about this and seeing what support they can offer. There are obviously many options for getting depression under good control, including medication and counselling, and I have spoken to many people with RA who have gone down one or both of these routes, so you are certainly not alone.

In the meantime, if you ever feel that low again it might be worth contacting the Samaritans for some support at the time, as it can be a really scary thing to go through on your own. The Samaritans helpline is available 24 hours a day, every day, on 08457 90 90 90.

I really hope you are feeling better, and that you will be able to get some support.

Kind regards

Victoria

(NRAS Helpline)

[Angela123]

Hi Jaqi. I have quite a few weepy moments but nothing like this. Please speak to someone like the Samaritans - I'm sure it will help you make sense of the feelings you had if you talk it through with someone who understands. I do hope your bad day was a one-off and hope you are feeling more optimistic today. Big hug - Angela xx

[Hidden]

Hi Jaqi,

If you PM me and tell me what area of the UK you live in I will send you the details of local mental health helplines, drop in services and crisis lines. Speaking to your GP needs to be your first port of call as there is a lot of help out there - seeing a counsellor or psychotherapist will give you the opportunity to explore these feelings of despair and what triggers them.

You can and will feel better than this again:-} Keep posting, there is a lot of support on here and many people who have had moments when they've felt that it's hard to go on.

Hugs,

Cece x

[Philip]

Hi Jaqi, Samaritans is a great place to start, if there is a branch near where you live you can call in for a cup of tea and a chat in complete confidence, also it is a safe place to talk and get some good emotional support, same as if you phone them on 08457909090 or email [e-mail] you can also txt them on 07725909090, there is someone on the end of the phone 24/7 BUT you only get a brew if you call in to a local branch lol , we all know how bad the pains can be and please hold on in there and don't forget to visit your GP.

Philip

[Dotty7]

Hi Jaqi

As the others have already said, you really do need some proper professional help with this. Talk to your doctor, who will refer you for further help - counselling changed my life.

Big, big hugs,

Dotty xxxxx

[Hidden]

Hello jaqi

Depression is so very common with our conditions,you need to visit your GP ASAP,and possibly have arranged some talking treatment with a CPN.

The final sanction never works, I should know I took an overdose of Pain Killers and associated medications.and was rushed too hospital

Generally most fail at first attempt, treatment can be quite severe when they are bringing you back,and the first attempt is generally the last with regards to not wanting too go through it again. Personally now I feel that even though you fail the feelings family go through are very severe. They range from shock, anger, disbelief and sadness that a family member has been unable to try and discus this act with them.and some families look upon this as blackmail and the main sanction of selfishness,those who are possibly left behind will never recover from what has been done in your name.

As mentioned earlier even If you are calm now it is very important that you now see your GP He will arrange treatment

for you.

If you feel these negative once more call both the NHS Helpline and your GP straight away.If there is going to be a lapse of time before been seen call the Samaritans, they hopefully calm and give support.

Remember if you O/D the treatment will or can be severe and heroic whatever happens you will go through some forms treatments that can really effect you for a long time afterwards. Your family may never recover whatever the result the hospital can do with you.

Many who will go through it the first time become frightened and have second thoughts, what they do not realize is the drugs they have taken will not take their course for three days after the attempt by that time it is too late for the person who has undertaken the final sanction

Please get treatment now,you and your family do deserve that

All the very best, KEEP A HOLD

BOB

[Kittykatxxxxx]

Hey Jaqi I have felt this before. How long have you had arthritis ? This may be a temporary blip for you or you may need some help from your gp to get the depression under control- it is possible. I myself didn't find the Samaritans that helpful as I would rather chat to someone who understands the condition.I havn't felt like that for a while now so things to get better take care of yourself we are always here for you Xx

[Philip in reply to Kittykatxxxxx]

You might even find a Samaritan that does have RA and maybe many other illnesses and diseases, wheather you ring or not it is your choice but others might find it helpfull.

[Kittykatxxxxx]

Yeah I didn't mean that the Samaritans were unhelpful I just found that it was my fellow sufferers were what got me out of my despair.

[mattcass]

Hi Jaqi, I certainly know how you felt I was in the same position and the same strong feeling, i don't know how far back posts go but in my earlier ones it tells part of my story,I had PF for 7 years then RA attacked my lungs for weeks all I could do was walk 5 feet could hardly breath so I locked myself away only blaming myself for what was happening then it hit me why should the ones I love have to suffer because of my selfish act.Contact your GP there is professional help out there you have to ask for it, and talk about it, Then I came on this page the help and support and advice was there 24/7 as it is now for you now, Weeks down the line you will be doing what we are doing now helping someone, keep in touch there is always someone here remember that.Mattcass

[allanah]

Hi Jaqi,

hope you have read all the advice and support from everyone above.

Long term ill health is difficult to deal with and get your head around. I was very lucky and got congnitive behaviour therapy CBT early on after my diagnoses which helped me deal with the dark days. My GP arranged it for me.

I know it feels as though you are in a pit you cant climb out, but heres your hope, someone threw me a line and I caught it and came back into the light with that weight of my chest. If you are like me you will understand. Keep strong, it does get better though it doesnt feel like it at times, hang onto the rope of help. Love Axx

[earthwitch]

What meds are you on? Sometimes they can contribute to this kind of feeling as well. Only time I ever felt like that was when I was on Citalopram, which weirdly enough is supposed to be an antidepressant. Definitely did the opposite for me, and my mood and enthusiasm and initiative all lifted considerably once I came off it.

[jaqi1]

I would just like to thank everyone for their kind words and thoughts x

[francherry]

hi Jaqi, everyone has given you really good replies. Just to add that I found the Samaritans very helpful, I have phoned them four times during my life (first aged 15, when I had severe clinical depression), when I was 20, 28, and more recently, last year. It is totally confidential. I understand your feelings as I actually made an attempt 20 years ago (ie when I was 15) that luckily was unsuccessful. There is a lot of support out there, please talk to your GP, your family and maybe a close friend. I found cognitive behavioural therapy really good, I was referred by my GP. I was able to challenge my negative thoughts and find alternative thoughts for them. I also found the Samaritans helpful, as they were non-judgmental, and it really helped to talk to someone. Things will get better. Feel free to PM me. Take care x

[Trulyfedup]

Hi, how are you feeling now honey? Maryx

[Jeanabelle60]

I think many of us can understand the way you feel sometimes, I know I have. I have been on anti depressants for many years. I did tell my GP and rheumy nurse......they both sat me down and talked with me about it. My rheumy nurse was terrific......she told me what I would probably face in the future and how when I got the right treatment for me how I could have my life back again.......and that is just what happened.

Try to see this as part of your journey through this awful disease.....you have a destination that you, with the help of many other people, are working towards. It is very important they you see a goal and keep that goal in you head.....with every aspect of life there are set backs but as others have said there are many people who want to help you through it......get some medication from your doc first. They will help you to see things a bit clearer and they will help you to make the right decisions for you. And of course you RA team, they were so very, very good to me when at my lowest.

There is always this site too for you to have a good moan......we have all been where you are at one time or another, we want to help you and can because we have walked in your shoes. So please......there is loads of great advice on here. Take care and please keep in touch......XX

[cathie]

I've been there - quite a few years ago really seriously. The only thing I have to add - apart from fellow feeling, is to always have a plan b. If your GP doesnt measure up, then approach the Samaritans. If you can get to see a counsellor that might help, have a friend or nearest and dearest to lean on. Try to get out of doors if the sun is shining. There are many small things you can do. But depression is a serious illness and if your GP doesnt sort you out, get help to see someone else in that practice.

Hope this isnt too disorganised and that you are starting to feel a bit better.

When my grandson was born - 9 years ago - I couldnt do anything with him, I felt that I'd waited for him for so long and now the RA was too much in the way. Now, I am a lot better, but he is very understanding and we do things together. Perhaps you can find something/ one in your life really worth living for. I hope so.

[whitedog]

Hi I've not posted on the site for months but logged in today and am feeling the same. I've had depression in the past, on and off and am on a real downer at the moment. Feel like I've lost interest in life - I don't have much contact with family and just a couple of friends who I see occasionally. My job is isolating and if not for my dog and my mum who is 88 I think I'd seriously be planning my exit.

The GP have sent me 2 letters to see them - one for a general health check because of my age and another a check up because of the RA I guess so I may mention how I'm feeling yet part of me doesn't even want to talk about it. Maybe I'll feel better if I go back on the ADs. I don't know.

If you tell friends how you feel they don't really understand or think you're moaning or suggest things for you to do, but, of course, if it were that easy you wouldn't be depressed.

So I have no answers or remedies for you - just to say you're not alone and hope things are getting better in some way.