Ex Smoker Day four and coping!! (Colitis Sufferer - In remission 24 months)

Hi folks! First of all I must say I’m not new to trying to give up smoking. Ive succeeded at times in the past. Back when I found out I was pregnant with my son (1996), I was smoke free for 3 years. A drink one evening led to having one and then I was back reaching and knowing that nicotine withdrawal feeling. Then in 2001 I gave them up again and then suffered with Colitis (some people suffer Colitis after stopping smoking, I know, strange.) So I tried the meds the doctor prescribed to put the Colitis into remission which didn’t help and then was given a course of taping steroids (ie 30 mgs tapering down to 5 mgs. Was in remission, then given a different medication which didn’t help yet again and I got fed up being the guinea pig so I ended up starting smoking again and without any meds I was able to once again be symptom free. Ok. So I guess you are asking why I would be trying to give them up again. !!! I hate smoking !!!. Up until recently, I smoked 5 - 10 per day and then at the weekend past wasn't feeling all that well (headache 3 days in a row, pain around sockets of eyes, feeling breathless when climbing the stairs, chest a bit wheezy, no energy and most of all in general bad form - I get angry at myself for smoking). I also gave up again in Nov 2010 when my poor aunt died of lung cancer (you’d think it would be a good morning wakeup call - well i gave up the cigs for 18 months until my Colitis came back with a vengeance and I had to be put on Steroids to put the bleeding thing back into remission and believe me when I say, that's not a nice experience as it just practically switches on the hunger pangs (if you walk past the fridge without speaking, it telepathically says eat me!) (not laughing)

Also I cried the early part of 2012 when I had to tell my Mum that I had to start smoking again and yes, guess the Colitis, it completely disappeared yet again. I even said to the doctor, “Would patches of nicotine not help keep it at bay, could we try it? but it was frowned upon cause usually all the NHS covers is the first couple of months with Nicotine replacement therapy. I wonder what the difference would be between the cost of the meds for Colitis and the cost of the Nicotine patches. Hmmmmm.

I was offered patches to see how I would get on but knew the cost of treating myself wouldn’t be affordable. I can hear a lot of people saying “well why not, there should be no price on health if it keeps you well”. I might add that even though I am a divorced, I have never been on the dole, Ive always worked from when Ive left school. Went to college in the evenings for a few years. I own my own home (mortgaged of course), own car, and do not have any bills outstanding and theres always food on the table. I don’t drink now in case it upsets my stomach and the only vice I actually had was smoking. Grrrr.

I went to see the doctor a few months back as I was actually contemplating giving up smoking and the doctor gave me something to think about when she said "maybe you stress at the thought of not smoking which may actually be the cause". Hmmmmmm.

Right so everything is calm, Im not worried about anything. Life in general is grand. My son is doing well at school. I work full-time. My bills are all paid on time. But health is usually reasonable but this smoking is doing nothing for me. Im 46 years old and I wanna live. So this is my pledge . . .

Breathe Free Pledge (9pm)

As of 13th July 2014, I comitted to breathng free. I understand and recognize that this is one of the greatest challenges of my life but i also know that choosing to quit smoking is the best decision I can make to protect and improve my health. Looking back i see that i didnt love myself enough to get rid.

I dont feel safe with smoking. It had control over my life. Why would I want to buy you to just get back stench. I dont wish to dance an early death no more. And besides I didnt marry you so til death do you part with someone else my insane friend, go find so other sucker to fill their lungs with your filth. Im so grateful to smell the roses again and it only been 3 days. How you have marred my senses. Cold fingers and toes to look forward to? No thanks! So Mr C, just to let you know I'm getting along quite well without

you. And just in case you thought we were ever getting back together, I lied, just like you did when you were supposed to bring me relaxation and stress relief. Signed, no longer yours.

Paula

13 Replies

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  • Hello Paula, so lovely of you to be honest with your post, and now starting a new quit, well this is the plaice to be its so wonderful with lots of advice and tips on staying quit.:cool::cool:

    Poor you it's sounds very much like your between the rock and a hard plaice, but as you have quit before you know what to expect, and for what it's worth have been on long term steroids for approx 13 yrs, and yes that fridge does talk to me all the time, as you have said steroids make you starving!:(

    We are all here to help. So a warm welcome from me, and please post and read as you need.

    Great to have you with us:cool:

  • If anyone else out there has Colitis and are in remission and gave up smoking, I would be very interested to hear how you got on. Thanks, Paula D46 :D

  • Message for Tracey (Senior Member)

    Hi Tracey

    Many thanks for the warm welcome. Very kind of you.

    I don't want to confuse anyone with the Steroid use. It has always been a short term use (6 weeks is usually the maximum) as long term use of Prednisilone can lead to osteoporosis. Then I have been given other drugs to see if it can be maintained ie Asacol but never seemed to have gotten any better on this type of drug. In fact it made me worse.

    Kind regards

    Paula

  • Quite some story Paula.

    Love your pledge! Inspirationalp

    Wish you all the very best with your quit - we're all in this to win!

    Andy

  • Hi Paula, i also suffer from IBD but mine is crohns disease. Have had quite a lot of bowel removed and have done the medication-steroids etc . Since giving up smoking (18 months ago) i have improved and don't suffer as much with it. I used patches in the beginning and i thought they were great. Hope this is the quit that sticks for you :D

    Angela x

  • Hi Paula and welcome, good luck on your quit this time. This forum is great and full of lovely people so keep checking in and posting :)

  • A big 'Hello' from me too, Paula,

    I love your pledge :D. The determination just shines through and if you can hold on to that you'll have all you need to make this quit the Forever Quit.

    I shall look forward to your posts and to hearing how your journey progresses. Everyone on the forum is lovely and you'll get all the support, encouragement and advice you could possibly need here.

    Welcome aboard! :)

  • Day 5

    Hi Everyone,

    Such a warm welcome and thank-you to everyone for all your very supportive comments.

    Today I haven't had any real cravings as such and I am very blessed that my boyfriend is being very supportive and kind around me of late by not smoking and using his e-cig as well. He mentioned last night about not buying anymore and I am a bit concerned of late about him cause he has been coughing every time he has lit up. Last night we also went out to meet a girlfriend of mine (old school friend). She knew I had posted up on facebook about my breathe free pledge and was kind to like it and comment, saying she was thinking about it too. I couldn't believe she offered me a cigarette after we finished our chat and drinks but inside my head I kindly said no thanks but thought . . . how dare you offer me a cigarette to try and sabotage all my efforts. (People, shes not a nasty girl usually but my feelings and emotions are all over the place and think she could have been a wee bit more supportive than to do what she did.) Grrrrrr. Anyway Im not gonna dwell on that, there are more important things to think about.

    Yesterday (Day 4) was a bad craving day. I really didn't know what to be doing with myself. Went to work as usual but found my concentration somewhat floundering and somewhat being light headed on more than one occasion.

    Today (Day 5) I find myself sighing a lot and really feeling like I want to scream, I feel agitated by no-one doing anything on me, and angry, I mean what is going on. Then my boss comes in and tells me about a mid year bonus Im getting cause our business did so well (that certainly wasn't expected) and that still doesn't make me smile. I politely said "Thanks very much". My boyfriend then calls me to meet for lunch as he knows Im feeling low (the darling) and Im still not happy. Well I could swear too but I think I'll leave that out. This is a messy day. Today I don't want to make decisions, do anything, see anyone. I really don't want to smoke and don't feel compelled to want to either. You know what. Has anyone got any suggestions to making me feel better. To be honest I just feel yuck and gloomy.

    Im not using any Nicotine replacement therapy AND Im NOT going to throw in the towel for no love nor money (Ive come this far). Is what Im feeling a panic attack but without the panic attack symptoms. I don't even feel that I wanna smoke so I cant imagine that Im actually suffering badly with withdrawal symptoms since Im not on the verge of wanting a cigarette. What What WHAT!!!!!! :eek::eek::eek:

  • Paula, you're doing brilliantly- you really are- and I bet your boyfriend is as proud as punch of you. :)

    Please don't worry about what you're experiencing. It's all perfectly normal and there are a multitude of posts on the forum describing identical symptoms to yours. Read as much as you can as it really does help to know that you aren't alone in what you're feeling currently. For what it is worth, I went through several weeks of feeling terribly depressed & anxious. I couldn't work up any enthusiasm about anything and felt permanently churned up, which isn't like me at all. I came out the other side though and so will you, I promise.

    Every hour that passes is another hour closer to feeling yourself again and experiencing all the wonderful, positive things about quitting. In the meantime, post on here whenever you like, shout, scream, cry, eat furniture (;)) and do whatever it takes to get through it. We will understand and I am sure your boyfriend will too.

    I hope you have a good day today :)

  • Hiya All (Countdown to week two - time is 12:01 - noontime)

    Thanks for the warm welcome from everyone. I hope you are all doing well. Its nice to see the support I'm getting from you all. I don't want to confuse anyone by saying this is an easy task, it certainly is a hard situation to go through. Each day I'll try and blog a bit but even though it may seem to some that im getting on reasonably well, there hasn't been a day gone by since I started my quit that I aint suffered the withdrawal symptoms (some days really bad and some days easier).

    Like for instance, last night after the cinema, Steven and I usually stood and had a smoke outside before we would have headed home. Last night was no different. On the way out of the cinema, that was the first thing that popped into our heads about what we usually did. Hand in hand we walked to the car, me a cold turkey quitter while Steven uses the e-cig. Its still hard for me to watch the usual hand to mouth action when Steven uses his e-cig. Im fine though. I guess Im of the thinking set, why elongate the withdrawal by using nicotine replacement, but there again, Im an individual with my thoughts and others deal with things different to me. Well done Steven. Im just realising (after 3 years) what a babe you really are x

    We are all unique. Well done to everyone no matter what way you're managing with it. The fact that yous are all in this journey with me is comforting to know that the support is there and I am not alone.

    :D

    Paula

    Breathe free and stay safe

  • im on my day 4. gong through the 'usual symptoms' i guess...

    damn i miss smoking !

    power to you paula !

  • thank you for my personal message you sent me ,hang on in there girl ,WE can do this ,cant give you any advice on your illness ,but giving up the fags is a wonderful thing xxxx

  • Hi Paula I too suffer with colitis which started a year or so after I quit the cigs, mine was triggered by food poisioning and is aggravated by stress.

    Sadly it can be caused by stopping smoking but I would definately never smoke again as I know what's worse for you.

    I have about one flare a year sofar, try not too worry, easier said than done.

    Chrones is opposite and is made worse by smoking.

    Don't give up xx

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