Hi folks! First of all I must say I’m not new to trying to give up smoking. Ive succeeded at times in the past. Back when I found out I was pregnant with my son (1996), I was smoke free for 3 years. A drink one evening led to having one and then I was back reaching and knowing that nicotine withdrawal feeling. Then in 2001 I gave them up again and then suffered with Colitis (some people suffer Colitis after stopping smoking, I know, strange.) So I tried the meds the doctor prescribed to put the Colitis into remission which didn’t help and then was given a course of taping steroids (ie 30 mgs tapering down to 5 mgs. Was in remission, then given a different medication which didn’t help yet again and I got fed up being the guinea pig so I ended up starting smoking again and without any meds I was able to once again be symptom free. Ok. So I guess you are asking why I would be trying to give them up again. !!! I hate smoking !!!. Up until recently, I smoked 5 - 10 per day and then at the weekend past wasn't feeling all that well (headache 3 days in a row, pain around sockets of eyes, feeling breathless when climbing the stairs, chest a bit wheezy, no energy and most of all in general bad form - I get angry at myself for smoking). I also gave up again in Nov 2010 when my poor aunt died of lung cancer (you’d think it would be a good morning wakeup call - well i gave up the cigs for 18 months until my Colitis came back with a vengeance and I had to be put on Steroids to put the bleeding thing back into remission and believe me when I say, that's not a nice experience as it just practically switches on the hunger pangs (if you walk past the fridge without speaking, it telepathically says eat me!) (not laughing)
Also I cried the early part of 2012 when I had to tell my Mum that I had to start smoking again and yes, guess the Colitis, it completely disappeared yet again. I even said to the doctor, “Would patches of nicotine not help keep it at bay, could we try it? but it was frowned upon cause usually all the NHS covers is the first couple of months with Nicotine replacement therapy. I wonder what the difference would be between the cost of the meds for Colitis and the cost of the Nicotine patches. Hmmmmm.
I was offered patches to see how I would get on but knew the cost of treating myself wouldn’t be affordable. I can hear a lot of people saying “well why not, there should be no price on health if it keeps you well”. I might add that even though I am a divorced, I have never been on the dole, Ive always worked from when Ive left school. Went to college in the evenings for a few years. I own my own home (mortgaged of course), own car, and do not have any bills outstanding and theres always food on the table. I don’t drink now in case it upsets my stomach and the only vice I actually had was smoking. Grrrr.
I went to see the doctor a few months back as I was actually contemplating giving up smoking and the doctor gave me something to think about when she said "maybe you stress at the thought of not smoking which may actually be the cause". Hmmmmmm.
Right so everything is calm, Im not worried about anything. Life in general is grand. My son is doing well at school. I work full-time. My bills are all paid on time. But health is usually reasonable but this smoking is doing nothing for me. Im 46 years old and I wanna live. So this is my pledge . . .
Breathe Free Pledge (9pm)
As of 13th July 2014, I comitted to breathng free. I understand and recognize that this is one of the greatest challenges of my life but i also know that choosing to quit smoking is the best decision I can make to protect and improve my health. Looking back i see that i didnt love myself enough to get rid.
I dont feel safe with smoking. It had control over my life. Why would I want to buy you to just get back stench. I dont wish to dance an early death no more. And besides I didnt marry you so til death do you part with someone else my insane friend, go find so other sucker to fill their lungs with your filth. Im so grateful to smell the roses again and it only been 3 days. How you have marred my senses. Cold fingers and toes to look forward to? No thanks! So Mr C, just to let you know I'm getting along quite well without
you. And just in case you thought we were ever getting back together, I lied, just like you did when you were supposed to bring me relaxation and stress relief. Signed, no longer yours.