Day 18 - Where's my motivation gone?

Howdie folks

It's been almost 4 days since I last put Champix in my body and 18 days since I last chose to inhale all those chemicals from a lit cigarette.

The doc agreed it a good idea for me to stay away from work for a few days until the anxiety/super-assertiveness/agression passed which, was agreed very likely related to the Champix.

Happy to report these feelings have gone: super-assertiveness, anxiety, vivid distressing dreams, a little paranoia, panic sensation, aggressive thinking/behaviour. All gone :)

Not so happy to report I am left feeling: Major sense of being disconnected from the world, feeling out of focus to the world around me. I want to get things done but whatever it is that normally motivates me is missing. I sleep and sleep and sleep. I have a constant frontal headache and my vision is a bit blurry. My stomach still feels bloated and I can only eat snacks. Full plate of grub makes me barf at the sight of it. I find myself standing in my flat sometimes thinking what am I doing next?

Where has all my motivation gone?

Is this what life is like as a non smoker? If it's not then please tell me what life is supposed to be like for a non smoker?

I'm feeling much more tired, flat and fuzzy minded than I did pre-quit. And yes, I will speak to my GP about it.

I'm just not feeling very happy today, what can I say...

Later folks

Andrew

5 Replies

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  • Hi Andrew

    God I remember that feeling - flat,tired, fuzzy and thinking 'is this what the rest of my life is going to be like' :( your motivation is still there it's just taking a breather :) stick with it as it does get better - I promise. Glad some of the bad stuff is improving since you stopped the champix and everything else will follow - have a chat with your GP though as it's good to have your mind put to rest.

    Take care and keep posting xx

  • Thanks Pook

    I been doin a bit reading and I think I'm at the depression stage of the "Emotional Loss Experience" as described by author Joel. "denial," "anger," "bargaining," "depression," and finally, "acceptance."

    I know this emotional cycle well but hadn't applied it to my old smokey joe addiction :p

    Funny, I thought I had reached the "acceptance" stage but a bit of ping pong going on.

    Later folks

    Andrew

  • Hi Andrew

    I remember feeling like you do early in quit....I remember losing motivation just like you have,....I had to push myself to do things.. anything. Just to break that empty feeling of being lost ......I used fags like treats , rewards..after ive done this ill have a nice fag with a brew...Ill just wash these dishes & have a fag.....Bla bla bla......And now its like youve no treats anymore ...so you feel at a loose end.

    It will get easier...quite soon you will have filled them lost times with something else.. And you will feel stronger every day that goes by

    Good luck andrew & well done on your 18 days, amazing mate

  • Thanks Andrew and KK

    I have to say this really hit home with me:

    "I used fags like treats , rewards..after ive done this ill have a nice fag with a brew...Ill just wash these dishes & have a fag.....Bla bla bla......And now its like youve no treats anymore ...so you feel at a loose end."

    I can completely relate. Now, though, nothing gets done. As there are no more "treats", I have no motivation to do anything.

    Any idea on how long it might take to get the motivation back?

  • Hi,

    I have to agree with all that's been said...I'm almost at 5 months complete...and still lacking motivation and still sleepy all the time...I keep wondering when it's all gonna change.

    Some people say that after about 6 months, things improve...so I'm hanging onto that thought...

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