Been searching around the internet for a nice forum to get some help from. As per my user name, I have been backed into a corner re my smoking and feeling very angry about it. My story:
35 yr old 20 year habit of about 10 - 15 per day. A few years ago I decided to get my health in order tackling one thing at a time, lost weight in year one, tackled the drinking in year two, started going to the gym this year and 2009 was going to be the year of the fags. I was doing realy well at the gym, running 3 miles a day and knowing that at some point I was going to have to stop smoking to reach my goal of doing a half marathon next year. I would tackle that when I go to it.
Any way two weeks ago I was taken into the hospital with severe pneumonia, hooked up to drips to give my antibiotics and attached to oxygen 24 / 7. They discharged me last week having got rid of the infection but still with fluid on my lungs. My consultant made me promise I would not have a fag until he could confirm the fluid had gone as he explained I would just aggrevate my lungs and be put straight back into hospital. I of course agreed so now I am 3 weeks in (2 in hospital, one at home) to a forced 4 week non-smoking period. I am due back at the hospital next Friday and if I get the all clear I can officially smoke.
Now to all my non-smoking freinds that just does not make sense - why would I want to go back to something I have managed to give up for four weeks? And the sensible side of me agrees - but all you ex-smokers out there can surly understand I feel cheated out of making the decision for myself & the ritual last smoke that I feel I should have before giving up. I am getting into a panic about going back to the hospital and being given the all clear.
Thr problem is I am not getting any o the benifits. I feel worse because of the illness than I did before - I cannot walk very far - never mind getting back to the gym (I've been told I will need two months before I can put that much strain on my lungs) the antibiotics I am still taking have given me jaundice, bleeding gums, diohrea, thrush, and a metalic taste in my mouth that makes everything taste foul - so much for things tasting better!
I just need some support here and perhaps some tips. I'm going to be house bound for 4 more weeksand all I can think about is having a smoke.....
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Support is plentiful here and I understand exactly where you are coming from about making the decision yourself.
However, the enforced situation has meant that the physical nicotine withdrawal has passed so it would be an ideal time to make the choice not to smoke again. You will still have to deal with the psychological side with is the tough bit, but you have a head start!
Read up about nicotine addiction and what to expect, think about why you smoke, and make the decision to take advantage of the situation and not re-start.
Your non smoking friends will never understand, like we do, but equally I think you know in your own heart that you don't really want to start again!
All the best with it, and check out these websites for further reading:-
It might sound odd but you’re actually in a position of strength.
You’ve been off the fags for 4 weeks, your body is cleared of nicotine and some of the symptoms of nicotine cleansing have got lost in the other ailments that you’ve unfortunately been suffering.
You’ve simply got to face the fact that everything you’re now feeling with regards to a smoke is simply the remnants of a compulsive habit which you are now in a perfect position to eradicate.
You’ve escaped the persistent clutches of the pharmaceutical companies and you’re effectively free.
Get yourself over to whyquit.com and read and read and read. Hopefully you’ll be able to look back at this point in your life and be very thankful that the decision to stop didn’t have to be made by you.
You are in the worst possible position - being forced to not smoke is the worst thing in the world for a smoker to handle.
But, if you stop to think about it - you have a huge head start should you choose to continue.
1) You are already past the physical cravings for Nicotine and all you have left are the psycological thoughts of smoking.
2) The bad effects of quitting (sleeplessness, restlessness, cough, etc) have been mixed up with the other problems and dealt with in hospital.
I suggest you read the info on the links posted by Nic above. You can only quit long term by making the choice yourself - you already know the only logical choice, but you can only do it if you want to.
If you decide you want to - it could turn out to be the easiest quit in history... as you already have the hard part behind you!
surely the pnumonia has given you the scare you need to stop smoking? i 100% understand your point about being forced into it and how you havnt "said goodbye" so to speak with the cigarettes. kind of like closure i guess and the mental part of letting go is what seems to be the hardest
however, perhaps it was just meant to be this way? everything happens for a reason. your body would have already done a lot of repairing so why go back to square 1 when it must have been so tough already for you to keep off them.
have a read of the websites nic posted - they may help with your thinking. some of them really hit home with me.
lastly i hope you make a speedy recovery from your illness xx
Don't think if it as having been forced to quit, try turn it around in your head, and say a big "thank you" to the powers that be for making the decision for you.
Reading is the key, but I know if someone had said that to me a year ago, I'd have shaken my head in utter disbelief and walked away mumbling :rolleyes:
Stay on the forum, post away to your heart's content, and try the links in my signature for a bit of reading
You have accomplished so much, so you gonna let a 4" fag get the better of you????? Naw, don't think so!
Smoking is effectively a trap, you only want to do it because you are adicted, the only reason why smoker 'enjoy' smoking soo much is because it relieves them of the withdrwal pangs that smoking causes, like wearing tight shoes and feeling relieved when you take them off! i would say read some allan carr and the other sites the guys mentioned if you can see the trap for what it is the only thing that you will be frustrated about is that you smoked for soo long. remember if you smoke it will take another 3 days to get the nicotine out of your system and you will have to go through the hardest bit... the first few weeks again
I would like to add that I am housebound at the moment due to a bad leg, and I am struggling a bit. But I come to this place and read other things that make me stronger.
Quitting smoking is not easy, but the hard bit is done - for me and for you.
All we have to beat now is ourselves... and that bit is only a lesson or 2 away.
Do some reading and make a choice... make yourself more ill, or continue to heal. The choice is really that simple and that stark.
I posted on more than one forum - this was what I got from one of the others - set me weeping for a while - can't believe how fragile I am at the moment. Getting good vibes from this site thanks.
"WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU EVEN THINK OF SMOKING WHEN QUITE FRANKLY IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE LUCKY TO BE ALIVE!!!
Get a grip and stop wallowing in self pity!!!!!!!!!!
think about it you have already done the hard bit now get well and enjoy it!
why not try nicotine patches if you think that will help?
Is that last ritualistic ciggie really worth it ??
I think not!
Good Luck hope you get well soon"
Anyway - do you still think Alan Carr will help? I met a lady i the hospital who recomended it - but said it finishes with the last fag - should I just ignore that or actually do it to give me that closure? As for reading - I am but with the illness I'm not actually getting the same timeline results - although it is good to hear it confirmed as I thought that I am nicotene free. My husband had offered to get me some gum or something but I thought that would be pointless at this stage. I had told him I thought it was the habit not the drug that was driving me insane.
I can't go out on my own yet because I don't fel strong enough to go in my handbag - complete with open packet of fags to get the car keys....how pathetic is that. I probably need an open discussion with my husband about how I'm feeling but I've always been the strong one and now I just feel as stupid as a junkie - I'm clean but can't stop thinknig about the want. Has anyone had any experience of hypnotherapy or any other therapy The group clinics at GP surgerys for instance....
You are already free of nicotine and past any possible physical withdrawals.
Allen Carr is certainly worth a read, PM me your email address - I have an electronic copy I can send you
You don't have to smoke through it, but it may click with you and make you suddenly not want to smoke and it may not. It didn't help me much to be honest... but it has helped others.
I think, by the sound of it that you just need to talk to people who have been there and to read as much as you physically can... something will make you understand the way you are feeling and put you in the right frame of mind.
The thought of not having the last smoke yet but just delaying it is a powerful one.
Similar to the one I use at the gym when I thought I couldn't go any further! Can you do 30 seconds longer? Then telling myself you might as well go to the next minute etc etc - just pushing it further and further all the time.
I suppose my problem is the NEVER AGAIN bit. If I just break that down into not today or even when it's bad not this morning or not till 10am then re-evaluating seems less scary.
I'm going to become a pest with my postings - does anyone mind if I almost make it a daily diary whilst I need to? I am so in need of positive messages at the moment, just writing and readingmakes me cry....
The thought of not having the last smoke yet but just delaying it is a powerful one.
Similar to the one I use at the gym when I thought I couldn't go any further! Can you do 30 seconds longer? Then telling myself you might as well go to the next minute etc etc - just pushing it further and further all the time.
I suppose my problem is the NEVER AGAIN bit. If I just break that down into not today or even when it's bad not this morning or not till 10am then re-evaluating seems less scary.
I'm going to become a pest with my postings - does anyone mind if I almost make it a daily diary whilst I need to? I am so in need of positive messages at the moment, just writing and readingmakes me cry....
Thanks
Posting on here has helped most of us, post as and when you need to - someone will be here to answer most of the time
Ignore the never again bit.
Just don't smoke now.
Do something else before you have the cigarette, or wait 10 minutes. Or whatever you need to do.
I follow 2 simple rules...
1) A smoke does not make anything better. The situation will be the same, but I will have had a cigarette to make it even worse.
2) A craving will go, whether or not I smoke. It will. So why bother with the smoke when I don't have to do a thing to make it go away?
Feel free to use this place however you need to
1 thing I do every day since I quit is to write in my diary. I post my feelings and something along the lines of...
I am a nicotine addict. I will always be one.
I must not feed that addiction if I am to remain free.
So, just for today - I choose health over sickness. I choose life over death. I choose freedom over slavery. I choose self control over obediance.
I choose not to smoke today.
Writing it down helps me fix it in my mind. I've not failed to keep my promises to myself yet
I'm going to become a pest with my postings - does anyone mind if I almost make it a daily diary whilst I need to? I am so in need of positive messages at the moment, just writing and readingmakes me cry....
Everybody else has said it already, so I'll keep this short:
Educating oneself + active forum usage = successful quit.
I found that I felt anxious about the thought of never smoking again until I got it straight in my own mind that quitting smoking is not a sacrifice, you are not missing out on some great thing.
In fact you are gaining a healthier way of life, something you have already been putting into practice by the sounds of things.
Read all you can. Get the mind right and its way easier.
I posted on more than one forum - this was what I got from one of the others - set me weeping for a while - can't believe how fragile I am at the moment. Getting good vibes from this site thanks.
"WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU EVEN THINK OF SMOKING WHEN QUITE FRANKLY IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE LUCKY TO BE ALIVE!!!
Get a grip and stop wallowing in self pity!!!!!!!!!!
think about it you have already done the hard bit now get well and enjoy it!
why not try nicotine patches if you think that will help?
Is that last ritualistic ciggie really worth it ??
I think not!
Good Luck hope you get well soon"
Anyway - do you still think Alan Carr will help? I met a lady i the hospital who recomended it - but said it finishes with the last fag - should I just ignore that or actually do it to give me that closure? As for reading - I am but with the illness I'm not actually getting the same timeline results - although it is good to hear it confirmed as I thought that I am nicotene free. My husband had offered to get me some gum or something but I thought that would be pointless at this stage. I had told him I thought it was the habit not the drug that was driving me insane.
I can't go out on my own yet because I don't fel strong enough to go in my handbag - complete with open packet of fags to get the car keys....how pathetic is that. I probably need an open discussion with my husband about how I'm feeling but I've always been the strong one and now I just feel as stupid as a junkie - I'm clean but can't stop thinknig about the want. Has anyone had any experience of hypnotherapy or any other therapy The group clinics at GP surgerys for instance....
I thought the above was rather harsh. You won't get that kind of response here thank goodness. The replies will be firm but kindly with some laughter and light relief in between.
I am sorry to hear about your illness and hope you recover soon. I can only reiterate what everyone else has said. I have been off them myself for 3 weeks using Champix. If you have come this far CT then keep going it is well worth it in the long run. I wish you well in your quit and hope to see you posting here a lot in the future.
i think those replies are very harsh especially if they come from ex-smokers who all at some point in their life, have probably done very crazy things just to get their fix!
i do think you need to concentrate on the benefits that you have already acheived and re-focus your thinking towards smoking.
if someone said to you "you are never going to risk being seriously ill by getting pnumonia ever again" - would you panic? of course you wouldnt. thats how you need to see smoking. its just a cause of serious illness and the pleasure you think you will feel by having one, is purely mental (and maybe a little bit physical)
its the mental side you have to get right, so i just repeat what the others have said already which is to do the reading and research (even if you think it wont help) and come on here and post away your thoughts
have you considered going to a local no smoking group just to talk to people about what your going through and hear the organisers tell you about benefits you probably didnt even know you were getting? x
Hello and welcome! I can only reiterate the good advice already given.
However, I think you've got to do something positive to reward yourself for not smoking. When I stopped I put £20.00 a week away. This was a lot less than I spent on the evil weed. We had a short holiday in Portugal in May all paid for and we're going on a cruise this Xmas. I know that I am in a lucky position to be able to do this because both my husband I work but my quit counter says today I have saved £2,648 by not smoking 10,444 cigarettes and that's about right!
Try not to feel that you have been "forced" to quit. Think on it as a benefit! "Someone" took the crawling up the wall stage away from you! Just think how nice you smell now you don't smoke!
Go on - do something rash like getting on the Brantano web site and ordering a pair of shoes that you can't possibly wear at the moment!!
When I first stopped I had a very positive attitude to my quit and it has kept me on the straight and narrow.
Often in the early days I would unnecessarily trouble myself by asking myself questions like, “how can I go on holiday and lie on the beach without a fag.†“how can I do that long drive without a fagâ€, “how can I play that gig without a fag.†“I always have a fag after qualifying†etc etc
What I was doing was worrying about things in the future and sort of forgetting about the now.
If you tell yourself not to smoke today, not to smoke tomorrow and then sort the rest out when you get there you’ll be fine.
You’re long past any withdrawal and you’re post-nicotine. You just have a filthy habit trying to take over again and it’s all in your head.
Laugh in the face of tobacco, it was never the smoke that felt good it was the situation and the situation will be just the same and just as good without tobacco… trust us.
oh dear it sounds like you are in turmoil and feeling really tortured by all this and its doubly difficult if you haven't made the decision for yourself as you won't have the strong feeling of empowerment and the adrenaline rush that many of us get at the beginning, i agree with the other guys about reading up and also about not smoking again but i also recommend to get over the "should i shouldn't i" torture, just sit down....take a few calming breathes and ask yourself whether you want to smoke or not? its really that simple, if the answer is NO i don't want to smoke (now or ever) then its time to start reading!!!! and we are all here to help you through the days when you feel like you are going crazy and all you can think about is smoking, at the beginning its probably easier to take it one day at a time...when you get up in the morning just take a deep calming breath and promise yourself you won't smoke TODAY...not forever if its too daunting at the minute(you can deal with forever tomorrow), just today, and be very proud of yourself when it gets to bedtime and you kept your promise, hope this helps xxx
Can I just point out that NO ONE has forced you not to smoke. You have CHOSEN not to smoke. If you really wanted one you would have had it. No matter how much it would have messed you up you would have got outside that hospital and sparked up. We have all been there, see it, done it and coughed our lungs up. You know in your heart of hearts that if you had of smoked it would have hurt and because of this you chose not to.
So it's not 2009 yet, true, but all that means is you have a head start and you can find another goal for 2009. also if you save what you would have spent on smoking from now until when you planned to stop instead of stopping then you can spend the, what, £2k, on a holiday or something and celebrate not smoking and it being your choice not to.
It is true that it is a very scary thing to say I will never smoke again. Never is a very long time. I personally am not going to smoke now. I can't say where i'll be in 2 years but if I keep not smoking 'now' I hope not to be smoking 'now' in 2 years. IYKWIM.
I found this very helpful when looking at the 'forever' issue
And this one for me is the one that I come back to again and again as it really hit home with me and I now remind myself if I feed my imp he'll turn into a demon again.
Have been in similar situation myself about 6 years ago! After having my youngest son, I had a DVT in my groin, removed by emergency surgery and warned that I should give up smoking whilst I was still young and how lucky I was! Went home and lit a cigarette! 2 days later, ended up in hospital with Pulmonary Embolism, partly caused by removal of DVT but, never-the-less, still smoking related! Again, warned that the best thing I could do to avoid further episodes was to quit. Did I quit this time? NO!! I know I should have but, like you, I didn't want someone else to "force" me, I wanted to make that decision myself (stupidly) I knew that they were right but, nobody was dictating to me when or why I should give up, it had to be when I was ready.
Sadly, it took 6 years to finally make that decision and (so far) stick to it, I've had numerous weak, failed attempts but, now feel with the support of Fourms like this one and education that I have made the right decision and hopefully you will do so too. As someone said on an earlier reply "ask yourself if you really do want that cigarette?" and if you really did, you'd have it, if not, you won't! It seems that you are battling with your conscience but, you have done the hard bit and it would be great to just continue from where you are now. Can completely understand about the "saying goodbye" to your last cigarette and forever is a very long time! Break it down and just not smoke for today, worry about tomorrow when it gets here! As the days and weeks pass, you'll still have thoughts about smoking but, it will get easier.
My word, what lovely words of encouragement I've woken up to.
Today I have woke up and I'm classing this as day one that I have decided to give up. See it even hurts to write that down......you see I was a model smoker, I had every excuse under the sun not to give up. It wasn't costing me much money, we were not hurting the kids (child free) and it was prevelant at work. I work in financial services and of a staff of about 400 in our building I could say 1 in 4 still smoked. The bus shelter at the back of the building was the social hub of work - not the coffee shop.
I read that people put away the money they would have spent - I'm afraid that does not apply to me or my still smoking husband.
I refused to buy cigarettes when they went over £2 per 20. I travel overseas so much for both work and pleasure that I have a constant supply of duty free or EU duty paid. In the kitchen we have a smoking cupboard. I don't even want to look in there at the moment but there must be 4000 cigarettes in there as I was just back from another trip. I hope I get to the day where I can sell these on but at the moment it's a bit like a comfort blanket knowing they are there.
So, Saturday, easier or harder? On the plus side husband is home all day distracting me, but also distracting me by standing at the back door with his fags. I've banished all indoor smoking since I came home - if I'm not having one no-one else is.
Had an argument with work yesterday about a return to work plan. The medical profession want a 4 week phased return to work however my HR have said if you need 4 weeks to get back to full time then the first two weeks you are not fit to work and they would rather me take longer off. So looks like I'm going to be stuck in the house bored for the next 3 weeks at least..... I feel if I could get my mind busy I could stop obsessing about my old mate...
So off to the GP on Monday for extended sick notes and a word about the smoking clinics they have. I feel like I'm admitting defeat - I have rebelled all my life now I've got to turn into clean living girl - don't drink, don't smoke don't eat carbs after 2pm......what do you do to be a bit wild now? Are we all turning into puritans?
Managed to get out yesterday to local shopping centre. Wandered round M&S food and enjoyed putting rubbish food in my trolly like steamed puddings and fish cakes - made with potato. I don't know what it is about our group of freinds but serving carbs with dinner or having custard would be more of a crime than lighting up.....sign of the times perhaps, the food police are trendy. We all boast about our omega 3 consumption and lack of refined sugars but no-one really worries about the bottle of wine a night, or 15 fags, or in extreme cases the illegals that some people indulge in at the weekend.
Anyway, got dressed for the first time since leaving hospital yesterday and the skinny jeans are seriously baggy - a positive side effect of the foul taste in my mouth. Nothing tastes right - I used to have a huge diet coke habit but it just tastes wrong....can't wait for the end of the drugs to what should be the best taste I've had in years....
BTW sorry if the above seems slightly vain after I've een so ill but I'll take any positive at the moment. I look like a junky anyway - all my veins have collapsed due to the amount of drips and blood they've taken so I'm bruised at every major vein - the tracks on the inside of my elbow are particulaly attractive (not). Combine that with the jaundice one set of antibiotics has brought on and I have the "herion chic" look down to a tee.
Will probably be back tonight to let you know how it goes - the suger dependancy seems to be coming down - husband is going to Tesco today - I think I'll downsize the boiled sweets to sugar free gum as a replacement, one of those huge tubs of gum can go everywhere with me instead of the fags.
If I'm strong today going to tackle the car, clean it, hoover it and empty it of all the spare lighters, half smoked packets, emergency packets etc.
Will be back later to let you know how my day went.
You sound a lot better, well done on making the decision and I want to wish you all the best.
Notice I didn't say "luck"... it's not about luck.
I hope you get well soon, and feel loads better due to not smoking. Maybe then hubby will quit too! But if not, he can stand outside and get wet and cold
I hope your day remained as positive as it started out but remember you have not given anything up you have gained your freedom and will gain an awful lot else once you are better
I hope by now you are tucked up in bed busy healing yourself...
Have to agree with most of what everyone else has said...for me the never ever was what kept me smoking for years and accounted for many a failed quit...
I wrote a diary for the first week or so along the lines of "Today I choose not to smoke"...and it certainly helped get me thru the first week (and you're already thru those grim times!!!;))
You've done the hard work even though you didn't choose to do it or particularly know you were doing it...don't go back now...let us all help you through to a healthier future...
Well done for making the decision yourself, you will feel better for it in the long run but, may take a while to "come to terms with it"!! Hope your 1st day on choosing not to smoke (rather than being forced) has been a success!
Having decided for myself that I will not go back to smoking once I get the all clear from the hospital I thought I would be better posting in the Quitting experiences.
As a newbie I'm going straight into 1st Month which is a little scary but also shows I've come quite far (without even realising it).
We are all here for you, to help you along the way.
Many of us have got though the 1st month already while others are working towards it. You should recognise that what you have achieved so far is no mean feat whether you feel you had a choice or not.
You may find that posting encouragement for others helps you to reinforce your desire to banish smoking to the past, I know that I do.
I was in hospital in april for 4 weeks how i wish i had given up then didnot even miss smoking for first week but then a nurse asked did i need a patcg or something and thar set of the craving and of course i started again but have stopped now have not smoked in nearly 2 weeks keep going you can do this
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
and its doubly difficult if you haven't made the decision for yourself as you won't have the strong feeling of empowerment and the adrenaline rush that many of us get at the beginning, i agree with the other guys about reading up and also about not smoking again but i also recommend to get over the "should i shouldn't i" torture, just sit down....take a few calming breathes and ask yourself whether you want to smoke or not? its really that simple, if the answer is NO i don't want to smoke (now or ever) then its time to start reading!!!! and we are all here to help you through the days when you feel like you are going crazy and all you can think about is smoking, at the beginning its probably easier to take it one day at a time...when you get up in the morning just take a deep calming breath and promise yourself you won't smoke TODAY...not forever if its too daunting at the minute(you can deal with forever tomorrow), just today, and be very proud of yourself when it gets to bedtime and you kept your promise, hope this helps xxx
I know I should have but, like you, I didn't want someone else to "force" me, I wanted to make that decision myself (stupidly) I knew that they were right but, nobody was dictating to me when or why I should give up, it had to be when I was ready.
