When donor grieves transplant recipient - Kidney Transplant

Kidney Transplant

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When donor grieves transplant recipient

JD1922 profile image
13 Replies

seeking: living organ donor to friend/ family who has lost the transplant recipient

I am fortunate to say I donated a kidney to my father 10/13/15.

He recently returned to be with our Lord 1/9/22.

Looking to talk through the weirdness that accompanies when a physical part of you dies along with your loved one.

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JD1922 profile image
JD1922
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13 Replies
RhenDutchess123 profile image
RhenDutchess123

Sorry to hear of your recent loss...I have never experienced what you did, but I lost my Father 18 years ago and I still miss him dearly...Your Gift gave him years he probably would not have had...I dont know if it's weird that a physical part of you died with him or not.....maybe he felt comfort knowing that he left with a little piece of you with him....Blessings

Howdy…Sorry to hear of the passing of your father. 11 of us in our family have polycystic kidney disease. So I’m no stranger to the miracle of transplantation as well as the heartache of death snd dying. Lost my father five years and my uncle twenty years after transplant. Im sure you wish it was longer but those additional years you add to someone life through donation is priceless. I can say this as my wife donated to me, indirectly, through a paired kidney exchange. I forever grateful to my wife as well as my actual donor. Like I said, it’s priceless. Did ya know their are only 6500 living donations each year. Wow! We’re living in “rare air.”

LisaSnow profile image
LisaSnow

I am very sorry for your profound loss. Please take care.

SN23 profile image
SN23

Very sorry for your loss🙏 sending prayers for strength and peace to you🙏

JackieJ_NKF profile image
JackieJ_NKFPartner

I'd like to extend my condolences to you... sorry for your loss!

Eyak1971 profile image
Eyak1971

Transplantation creates a lot of moral feelings. Placing a part of one's body into another. Transplant patients who receive a deceased donor are able to keep a little distance between donor and recipient but still wonder about the relationship they are feeling. I know it's odd to say but I was more comfortable receiving a kidney from a deceased donor from a living donor even though it would have been more beneficial it would have been later. But that is my hangup. Needless to say we all have to handle the transplant process in our own way. Take care and whatever you feel is ok.

Alfredmynewkidney profile image
Alfredmynewkidney in reply to Eyak1971

I totally understand. When I was put on the transplant list anc people were volunteering to be tested it was really hard on me emotionally. I was prepared for my husband to be my donor(not a match) but not friends. It was a hard to describe feeling. I did end up with a deceased donor as no one was a match. JD- I have not been through what you have. I'm also a PKD family, I'm sorry for your loss. I like thinking your dad was happy to have a part of you with him. ❤

Eyak1971 profile image
Eyak1971 in reply to Alfredmynewkidney

As you I was overwhelmed by family volunteers but felt awkward. Thanks for sharing your story. Take care.

Daledavey profile image
Daledavey

God bless hou

Beachgirl32 profile image
Beachgirl32

🙏for your you in this emotional time . What a gift you gave for father and you had extra time with him cause of your gift. I’m sorry you loss your dad.

JD1922 profile image
JD1922

I’m humbled and touched at the responses, thanks to each of you for your kind support and comments. Today was his service and it was hard but I did manage to speak. There are times I feel I come to a place of peace or acceptance and a short time later this realization sets in… wait I’m really never going to see him in his physical form I’ve always known and loved and it almost feels like peeling off the scab just as it forms. Any advice how to not peel the scab? Is it even possible?

RhenDutchess123 profile image
RhenDutchess123

The simple answer is..no...it is always going to hurt...especially Fathers Day and every year when it would have been his Birthday, you will think of what age he would of been...You will never stop getting that pang, and maybe we are not suppose to, that's what love does to us..its glorious and painful at the same time

When the scab shows up and you pick it off, it keeps you Human and I think its okay....Reminds us of whose Child we were... and are...and we straighten our Crowns

JD1922 profile image
JD1922 in reply to RhenDutchess123

🥲 thank you. I think I needed to hear that last part the most 🙏 🤍

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