Post transplant depression/anxiety

[Ladybug_05]

Hello all, I received my transplant 11 weeks ago come Tuesday. I've had depression and anxiety issues since I was in stage 3 CKD many years ago (like a decade or more- I was born with CKD), but it's gotten worse as my CKD progressed into kidney failure/dialysis and is still a big struggle post transplant. I am on an anti-depressant and anxiety medication which helps about 70% of the time, but other times it's like I'm not on anything at all. I was sick for about 2 months after my transplant between getting C Diff twice and catching an upper respiratory thing that turned into a sinus infection, but even now that I'm feeling physically better my mental and emotional state feels like it's in shambles.

I'm having a hard time expressing my needs to my support people, since I always end up with the "it is not about you" speech when I do get upset or have an especially bad day. It's like they forget that I'm on all new meds that have side effects that I'm still learning to manage, and they have all messed with my psyche. I've realized that I'm internalizing a lot, which is only making things worse and my normal coping strategies aren't doing much anymore.

Any support would be greatly appreciated. I feel lost and alone in this right now, and quite frankly having this transplant, while I'm grateful to have it, is making the rest of my health issues go haywire and just life in general much harder than I'd imagined.

[Donaldson0007]

I would most definitely consider private counseling or cognitive behavioral therapy and exercises, you can read up online, or get books from the library too, if counseling is not for you, not covered by insurance etc. Same position as you leading up to and post transplant and topped it off losing my job of nearly 15 yrs within days of my surgery. Then (friends) started to disappear as well. Guess I was not handling things they way they thought I should? Everyone has an opinion until it is them, ha ha. It was NOT a good time in life. I did go speak to 2 separate councilors early on. And I also feel as you do sometimes, this is a blessing and a curse, but have to remind myself to get out of my head, deal with one thing at a time and keep moving forward. It is very difficult, it is your journey and I hope you get where you want to be with this. Congratulations and best of luck to you.

[WYOAnne NKF Ambassador]

I agree with Donaldson0007 that you should consider some counseling as a way to handle this right now. Please know that it does get better! Your body eventually gets used to the pills, tremors stop, sleeping gets easier and it all becomes second nature. I am 19 years post transplant and hardly remember what it was like before the transplant.

I do remember that at the 6 month mark I could stop taking the viral and bacterial antibiotics and the dose of prednisone was lowered. Things got better for me then. I had really bad diarrhea those first 6 months

[Cazzy41]

It’s just been a year since my transplant, and sweetheart you are not alone. I have been referred to a Renal psychologist as never felt so low. I had many issues after my transplant, the surgery went amazing but my aftercare was very poor to say the least. I have now been told that due to the situations I was put in, I have been diagnosed with PTSD. I don’t sleep due to horrendous nightmares which happen every night, and I have never felt so alone. If I can be of any help even if it’s just a listening ear or a friend to talk with please don’t hesitate to contact me. After all only we know what we go through and what we have been through. Please if the thoughts get dark or worrying please please seek professional help ASAP. But hunny you are not alone please remember that. ❤️❤️❤️