Mom with Stage 5 kidney disease: Mom is in... - Kidney Disease

Kidney Disease

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Mom with Stage 5 kidney disease

Iteachoct1971 profile image

Mom is in hospice with Stage 5 kidney disease. How long can you live with this? She has so many other issues the doctor told us not to do dialysis.

16 Replies

Hi, I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. I've attached a short booklet from the NKF that explains some of things you may already know and hopefully will answer any other question(s) you may have.

Bassetmommer profile image
BassetmommerNKF Ambassador

You have our sympathies Iteachoct. My father-in-law was in the same situation with his failed kidneys and decided not to do dialysis. He was 94. There is no way anyone can predict what will happen for you Mom. I hope you will build a good support team for her which will include palliative and then hospice care which will include social work and spiritual support if you want it.

You are so kind Bassetmommer. I have anticipatory anxiety and all I can think is when it is going to happen. How long can a person be without kidney function. I’m trying to prepare myself. I must sound so selfish. I’m just really scared.

Rene70 profile image
Rene70 in reply to Iteachoct1971

Hello my symthapy as well, I have stage 5 and scared too...

Iteachoct1971 profile image
Iteachoct1971 in reply to Rene70

Rene my mom has so mAny other organ issues and she has severe dementia. You are my age and a future ahead of you. Keep fighting!! You got this! Don’t lose hope 🙏

Bassetmommer profile image
BassetmommerNKF Ambassador in reply to Iteachoct1971

It does not matter how old we are, our parents are our parents and it is hard to watch them suffer. You are a good child to help. And you are not being selfish. My mother passed when I was 23. I spent her last weeks with her every day talking when she could or wanted to and just being with her when she wanted to just be. It was the best thing I could have done and made her passing easier for both of us. Three years ago, I did the same thing with my mother -in-law. She had dementia and was in and out of it most of her last days. But every time she smiled at me, I knew she was still there and she knew she was loved.

It is nine months later than when you first posted. But today when I read this, you've encouraged me to join the National Kidney Foundation and all the sites they offer . So you've helped at least one person and I suspect many more.

Thank you for your words of encouragement that is my plan and keep fighting I keep believing in God keep me in your prayers as I keep you in my prayers I know what it's like to have a parent with dementia I take care of my 80 year old father who has dementia been taking care of him for 10 years and I take care of my 80 year old mom who has congestive heart failure so everything that's happened to me in some Shock in a disappointment cuz I feel like me taking care of him I have no life but I know that I'll be blessed for what I do I do want to be married again someday that's the plan but I know what all these health issues with my kidneys and diabetes is kind of hard but I appreciate everything that you just shared with me but yes I've been taking care of my dad as well with dementia here in the household I did not put him in a nursing home if I had to put him in a nursing home my father would have died by now I got him situated to where I can take care of him he doesn't wrong and he has severe dementia I have to feed him well not feed him he feed himself but I have to fix his food and then I also have to make sure that I changed him his depends he does know how to go to the bathroom but I still have to change him every day in this times I have to get up at 3 or 4 in the morning to check on the make sure he's dry so yes I have my hands full plus a special needs son that does not live with me but I'm still juggling everything oh yes I got a lot on my plate

jdapja profile image
jdapja in reply to Rene70

I don't know how you are doing it. I thought I had my hands full with 4 bypasses and then going on dialysis that by the way is not working right now. God I know is with you for all you do for your parents and He will reward you in the next life. I guess we are all hoping for the same thing. God Bless. Tippy

God is able! My prayers are with you...

Mom has been assigned a 24 nurse now. She’s all swollen, not eating, and medicated a few hours. It’s a matter of time. I don’t know what to say to her and what to expect.

I don't know how bad the dementia is right now and I don't really think she would expect you to say anything. Just being there is enough. Are you alone with her or are your other siblings sharing that duty? Take Care.

Iteachoct1971 profile image
Iteachoct1971 in reply to

Im by myself, but I’ve called others to come say goodbye. Thank you Mr Kidney ❤️


Thank you! She is now resting in peace 🙏

I'm sorry to hear about your loss but, I'm sure you and your siblings have many wonderful memories to get you through this difficult time.

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