I am reaching boiling point with my weight and my figure... I am simply not happy. I am so self conscious, I wear the same clothes which are baggy enough to hide my mummy tum and hate my husband seeing me anything less than fully clothed - he says I am beautiful and he loves me exactly as I am though.
I guess this is a little plead for advice... I need to find the will power and enthusiasm to go walking, exercise at home (found some videos on youtube) and reduce the amount or find good alternatives to what I eat. But how on earth do I do this? I am lacking the oomph to get going on this and I fear my weight will get out of hand if I leave this any longer.
Can anyone please help at all?
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MrsM243
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It’s a bit of misnomer that when you lose weight you automatically become fit, healthy and confident. In actual fact, often the reverse is true. You need get healthy and positive before you can lose weight. You need to dig deep and find some measure of self worth so you truly believe your amazing body deserves decent nutrition.
Looking back to your original Post here healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh... I see you had several nice friendly responses with some useful advice about hunger hormones and why certain foods trigger cravings and make weight loss difficult. Did you find time to read them? This one in particular is especially helpful healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...
And please stop beating yourself up, you are beautiful and loved, and can turn this around 👍. it doesn’t have to be complicated, we don’t need to live on lettuce and spend hours in the gym, small changes add up 😊
Hi Mrs M243 - I find myself in a similar situation. Every day is 'going to be the day', but by the evening, I fall off the wagon with wine or chocolate. I've started this NHS Weight Plan because it's no frills and simple - it reminds me of Rosemary Conley, which I did quite successfully 'in the olden days'. It's ironic that I'm about to go on holiday for two weeks, but if it helps me keep a sense of proportion then great. What I think is - you have to be in the right headspace and I think IndigoBlue61's points about self-esteem is really important! Just keep going - every journey starts with a first step and all. Whatever happens, keep going - I hope we both have success this time!
Thank you! I will do the weigh in tomorrow as I am lead to believe weighing first thing in the morning, before a shower, etc, is when you get the more accurate weight (I hope this is correct?!)
Many Thanks for the link, I shall know what to look out for tomorrow morning!
Visualising yourself with the body you want worked for me. I was so out of shape, looking pretty grim. 5 months on, I'm bang on the centre of what is considered a healthy weight. I struggled with get-up-and-go, but forced myself on because I wanted a great body more than I wanted my next meal. I would not have dreamed taking my shirt off 6 months ago, but for the last month, I've hardly put a shirt on. My wife has been so supportive and she constantly tells me I look fab. It's changed my life. I used a gym several times a week and took up cycling. You can do this too. Best of luck, hope you are telling us of your success in 5-6 months.
If you want this to work for the longer term MrsM243 , you need to think about it as a lifestyle change rather than a diet. That lifestyle change will need to happen a bit at a time and will involve many things : changing your behaviour around food, portion control, identifying emotional eating triggers, increasing your activity levels, trying new foods, making healthy food swaps, etc.
Commitment to diet/lifestyle change and resistance to temptation doesn't just happen! It has to be worked at.
The only way I have succeeded this time is to change how I approach food and eating it. I have learned to resist temptation! BUT please believe that this has taken a LOT of hard work and practice.
It's about "normalising" or "modifying" behaviour around food... and I think that with enough "practice" it becomes more and more easy until you get to the point where a behaviour is modified to the point of it becoming the only way.
I am sure that even some people who are not over weight do sometimes over indulge - but the fact is they don't do it very often...
Those of us who are over weight have been used to "treating" ourselves, eating portions that are too large, eating the things that we know are calorific because we can!
It's been a combination of changing all of those aspects of how I behave around food that has meant I have been successful this time.
I have developed a respect for the food I eat. Not everyone has the ability to eat as well as we in the western world eat. We should not abuse the privilege.
I rarely eat "on the hoof" any more, I rarely eat between meals. I take time to sit at a table and present my meals nicely. I take a moment or two to really look at my plate of food before I pick up my knife and fork.
Almost daily I say to hubbie "Aren't we lucky to be able to enjoy such lovely food". I really mean that too, I am not saying it for anyones benefit but his and mine. We should never take for granted having easy access to delicious food stuffs and our ability and love of cooking!
If you log your food - keep track of how many calories some of those "treats" contain, after a while they kind of stay in your head (medium egg = 70 cals, slice of white bread 100 cals, meringue nest 57 cals, 30g (matchbox size) of cheddar, 122 cals)
I do have sweet treats, but I buy my own choice, so things like 2 finger Kitkat, single finger Twix, Club biscuit... these are all around 100 calories. I keep them in a tin and I can have one whenever I want to, but I limit it to no more than one a day and usually with my afternoon cup of tea. That's not to say I eat one on a daily basis (usually about 2-3 times a week). They are always logged into my diary.
If you don't keep a log of what you are eating and the calories foods contain, then it's a bit like trying to travel from one place to another without a map! You might get there eventually BUT it's likely to take you much longer than if you planned the route and used a map PLUS you might take a few wrong turnings and end up going back on yourself!
I have also learned not to plan each trip out of the house to include food. Once upon a time, I'd have included lunch with a trip into town, coffee and cake with a visit to the garden centre.
I now plan or even prepare a meal BEFORE I go out (usually a salad) so that I know exactly what I can eat as soon as I walk into the door... and don't turn to "what I fancy" (usually high calorie carbs that don't keep you full for very long...)
Make a list of the reasons WHY you want to lose weight. Keep it somewhere safe (stuck to the inside of a kitchen cupboard door?) and look at it from time to time, especially when you are raiding the kitchen for treats!
I always ask myself before eating something really calorific "Do I really want to eat this thing more than I want to lose weight this week?". It's called "mindful eating" - being aware of why you are considering eating - real hunger? Boredom? Temptation? Feeling fed up?
Have a glass of water, wait 5 minutes and consider whether you still want the food. Once it's been snaffled down, it's too late and you may end up feeling cross and angry with yourself....
....and that feeling (guilt, failure) lasts for a long time, much longer than the temporary enjoyment of whatever treat you ate....
Oh, and I always remind myself how good the feeling is of seeing a loss on the scales at my weekly weigh in! That wonderful feeling lasts for days! Don't forget how that feels - you need to remind yourself of that feeling next time temptation strikes!
I’m healthier and fitter now at the age of 56 than I was 20 years ago…..
I am writing this as someone who had struggled all of my life (since the age of 9) to lose weight. I have a significant disability that affects my mobility - use a wheelchair outside of the house. I am also very short (4ft 8”). It wasn't until the age of 49 when I started to log everything and kept track of the calories I was consuming that the truth hit me between the eyes. I was eating FAR TOO MUCH for a short sedentary person. I changed my whole approach to food and eating it that everything else clicked into place
Just wished I’d found what worked for me years ago.
I have poor self-control so the way I started is by 'mindful eating'- rather than denying myself a chocolate bar, I would think 'Yes, I could have that but that leaves me with less calorie allowance for my tea' so more often than not, I don't eat it.
Logging what you eat helps if you're overeating as it's easy to forget how many snacks you have.
For exercise, I reframed it into something positive- I think of it as 'me' time, where I can put my headphones in and take control of my exercise. If you're using a exercise bike that has a back to it, you can even get reading done!
I'm not sure if you're still needing to lose weight, but we have something for everyone, including maintainers :
Follow this link to our chat thread and a list of all the activities we run. We've found active participation to be key to success, especially with our weigh-ins and Daily Diary.
I know how you feel. I have been saying ‘I’ll start tomorrow for years’ . I think my trips to the kitchen cupboard were a habit and I reached for the junk food as the fruit went mouldy. I finally engaged with the forums last week and am now feeling positive.
As for exercise- well I don’t do much at the moment. It’s hard when your knees are creaking 😅. I walk my dogs and I go to Pilates which is the only thing I’ve ever stuck with. I think part of he reason is that I pay for 8 weeks in advance. It takes that indecision away because I don’t want to waste my money. I also go with a friend which also helps.
I’m now looking at other activities to try. If I find it’s not for me I’ll try something else.
Hi MrsM. First off, good on your husband! I have found this forum so helpful, informative and supportive. I don't know which way of eating you have decided on, I do lchf, it's the best"diet" ( it's actually a way of life now) I've ever done. Once you get used to not eating carbs it's very easy if it suits you. Anyway, the best of luck whatever you decide.
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Small loss of motivation
I'm upset and I don't know why.
My feel good is officially gone...
Help me, I am disgusted with myself!! 
