Second miscarriage and feelin angry with my body

I started bleeding last night at exactly 10 wks. I can't believe this is happening to me again, I miscarried in January at 6 wks and fell pregnant again straight away without having a period. I thought I was really lucky to have caught so quickly and as this pregnancy progressed I was able to tell myself that I was unlucky last time and that it wasn't ment to be on that occasion. But now it's happening to us again I just feel so angry and let down by my body!! I'm 36 yrs old and have 2 daughters. Have many of your experienced this ? My previous pregnancies were in my 20's could this be my age ? How common is this ? I feel so discouraged and would greatly appreciate your thoughts and experiences.

Thank you in advance xx

16 Replies

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  • I'm so sorry for your loss, espicially at 10wks of pregnancy. But i don't think you should let this upset you too much.

    You mentioned that you have 2 beautiful daughters already & a loving, caring husband/ partner by your side to help you get through it.

    I understand it may be difficult to cope with this happening very close together but imagine the thousands of women around the country/world who have major difficulty concieving a child full term & continiously feel the need to endure medical treatment at high costs.

    You can always continue to try again but it may be alot more challenging due to your age.

  • I am so sorry this happen to you :(

    I don't think is your age. There is so many older women that are parents, some for the first time, and they have successful pregnancies.

    Have you talked to your midwife or doctor yet about this? They are the experts (I know sometimes they aren't) but they can give you a personal explanation.

    I wish you and your family all the best!

    Take care.

  • oh I'm so sorry to hear this, its so hard when there is no explanation to why it happens, are u bleeding heavy? I've heard a of someone who have had 2 or more miscarriages was due to their blood being too thick and had to inject themselves everyday and went on to have full term pregnancies and this is after they had had children, if this is a miscarriage then they should investigate it for you, they do say that it higher risk of miscarriage when ur older, I have had spotting thru this pregnancy and when I went for my scan the consultant said I was 50% more likely to miscarry then someone in their 20's I'm 38. hopefully it might stop for u and everything will be ok, there are women on her that have heavy bleeds. and they are doing ok x

  • Thanx to you all for your kind comments. I spoke to my midwife this morning and she didn't have any advice other than to wait and booked me in for an appointment with the epu on Tuesday. But I guess that's all that can be said at this stage.

    Abenaa ur right I am very lucky to have two beautiful healthy daughters and of course I'm thankful everyday for the joy they bring to our lives. I also appreciate how many women out there who struggle to conceive at all, I have a friend aged 38 who is currently having fertility tests after trying for over a year to conceive.

    Sometimes though it's hard not to feel like this is all so unfair..... Should I give my body a break ? But then again time is not on my side

    Babymother...my bleeding is just slightly lighter than a period at the moment and has increased as the day has gone on there is also some clotting so unfortunatly there isn't much doubt in my mind that this is a miscarriage. I wish you all the luck in the world with your pregnancy.

    Thanx again to all you ladies for your advice xx

  • Im sorry to hear about this. I know how you feel. I had a miscarriage aswell. My sister in law had 4 miscarriages and she didn't have any kids before. She was also in her 20s. Now she has 3 healthy kids.Her kids don't have a big age gap either. She had her oldest after 10 years of marriage. So don't lose hope and I wish you all the best

  • Hiya, sorry you are going through this, I hope its just a bleed and just maybe baby is ok! But I guess you will have to wait for your scan.

    Now after my miscarriage, seven years if trying and still no children. I have done lot of research into miscarriage and age etc etc

    I am not a doc but please ask about what I am going to tell you and see what is said.

    This pregnancy I take baby asprin everyday 75mg half the normal dose, it has been proven to prevent miscarriages, often stopping blood clots forming in the placenta, which causes loss of baby, I am not alone in this knowledge my sister just had her first ivf baby she too was put on baby asprin for the whole of her pregnancy. Also there is a doc on here and she too is on baby asprin!

    B12, folic acid, iron- I again if you are low on these this can affect pregnancy outcome, so again before I was pregnant I was on high dose of b12 and folic acid, but I was fine for iron, not the case now at 26 weeks so on two tablets a day.

    ,

    Maybe for you, your progesterone levels are low, when this happens the uterus is unable to support the pregnancy. Ask for progesterone tablets as soon as you are pregnant again, you will be on these till 12 weeks, until the placenta takes over fully. Again this is used in ivf 100% of the time and usually with reoccurring miscarriages. It does not harm pregnancy if your levels were fine!

    Steroid therapy, this has been used when a certain condition is diagnosed but you will have to read up on this one as it is rare.

    I wish you luck and don't give up xxx

  • Thanks to skyblueboston and sugar123 for your help. Unfortunately things are not good for me. I was holding on to the hope that this may not be as bad as it seemed but when I woke this morning I started having bad pains making me double up and heavy bleeding. My partner put me in the bath hoping it would ease the pain, which it did a little. But shortly after I went to the toilet twice and lost large clots which I can only assume is my little one leaving me :-( sorry for the graphic info.

    The pain is easing now but is happening in waves.... Have any of you experienced this kind of pain ? Is it the norm ? My previous miscarriage had no pain just bleeding but I'm assuming this is due to the fact that it was earlier in my pregnancy.

    Thank you skyblueboston for your advice on medication, these are things I was unaware of so I will be asking my doctor next week about using these options next time. I'm hoping there will be a next time but I feel my partner and I will need some time to grieve, so much has happened in a short space in time it may be worthwhile giving my body a break.

    I wish you all the best we all deserve a happy ending xx

  • Hi Hun, I had a missed misscarriage and had an erpc done, but I was rushed back in due to servere pain, I was still passing clots get think they may have missed bits of the pregnancy, I was on tramadole 100 mg 3 times a day I knocked me out thank god I was on the ward for two days.

    Please don't suffer with the pain, if its very bad go to a&e and get help.

    I wish it was better news for you, if you need to chat I'm always here.

    I needed quite alot of time to grieve, maybe once your misscarriage is complete, let your body rest for a few months, you and hubby ave a holiday, its so traumatic you need time Hun xxxx

  • I'm so sorry to hear that you had such a traumatic experience, it must have made things that much harder for you both.

    I haven't had any further pain for the last few hours so I'm hoping that all is happening naturally. I really appreciate the support you ladies have given me it does help to talk it though with someone who understands the emotions I'm experiencing.

    I hope all is well with you xx

  • Its okay hun. I had a lot of pain when miscarrying and I did have lots of blood cloths. Im not trying to scare you hun but did you contact your midwife yet?

  • Thank you for confirming that the pain I've experienced is normal. It helps to know that what I'm experiencing is normal.

    Fortunately the pain stopped a few hours ago I have a dull ache now, so hopefully things are happening as they should. I have only spoken to my midwife once yesterday when things started, she advised me to go to A&E if things got bad over weekend as they are only available Monday to Friday. She booked me in to the early baby unit for a scan on Tuesday afternoon.

    Do I still go for the scan on Tuesday to check it's a complete mc ? Will they be able to give me any answers ?

    Thank you again for your kind help and advice xx

  • Yep go for your scan to make sure everything is completed. They can tell you this there and then. In way of answers to why you misscarried I doubt it, they would need to examine the fetus.

    Xxx

  • Hi again,

    Just to update you, unfortunaly the pains returned with a vengeance on sat night and the bleeding became so bad I got concerned so I went to A and E sunday moring, they admitted me. They did an internal examination and removed all the clots and after a further examination confirmed that my cervix had closed and put me on a drip. Fortunately the bleeding improved greatly after this and I didn't have to have surgery. Docs said they feel that the mc was complete but I have to return in 10days for a pregnancy test to check all is Ok.

    The doctor was very reassuring as I felt that there was something wrong with me having two mc in a row. He assured me that there is no reason at this stage to think I have been anything other than unlucky. Although I feel sad and empty now it has helped me feel there is hope for the future.

    Thank for your support during such a difficult time and I hope your doing well. Xx

  • Hi, I'm pleased your getting lots of support, my thoughts are with you. I hope you let yourself rest and recover for the next few months.

    Don't give up Hun xx

    Look into using baby asprin for our next pregnancy, so many women I know use this to help maintain their pregnancy, its sops clotting in the placenta. Good luck with your research xxxx

  • My thoughts are with you and your family and I wish you a speedy recovery. I had a series of mcs and an ectopic before having my first child at 30. I was advised to let my body recover for about 3-6 mnths before trying again after a miscarry. Big hearts to you for being so brave through all this. X x x

  • Morning,

    your story could have been mine. In 2011 I mc at 6 weeks, didnt have a period and caught again straight away but mc at 9 weeks. I gave my body a break for 3 months before starting to try again. I am now holding my 9 week old baby boy in my arms. I was like you, so angry with my body. We had a 4 year old daughter and I just didnt understand why my body was letting me down. This time around I still had little bleeds at 6, 8,11 and 13 weeks and they couldnt really tell me why but my little boy hung on and here he is. I did beg my midwife for baby aspirin but she said they dont go down that route until 3 mc's but after one bleed my doctor actually spoke to someone at the hospital and he agreed it wouldnt hurt for me to take it this time around. Did it help me carry full term this time around?i may never know BUT it did help me believe i was doing anything to help pregnancy along. Mad I know but after 2 mc's i just needed anything to help me along until the 12 weeks were over.

    Good luck for the future and massive hugs to you for both losses xxx

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