I really need some advice from mums with 2 little people, ideally those who also experience shift work!
My youngest is 4 months old, and eldest is 2 years 4 months. Day times are no issue, its chaos but fun until it gets to bedtime routine.
The 2 year old won't go to sleep unless we stay with him in his room and until about a week ago wouldn't sleep in his own room all night, he'd end up in our bed by about 2am. That's slowly stopping and although he still comes in and wakes us up, is calm when we take him back to bed. Although we still have to lie with him again til he gets back to sleep.
The baby is showing signs he's getting ready for a regular bedtime around 7.30 but bedtime for eldest is at 7.
So the issue is, my husband works shifts, meaning 3 / 10 nights he isn't around for bedtime, and another 2/10 nights he's on a night shift so not there through the night.
We cannot seem to find any way of making it work where we can get them both settled and in bed when it's only one of us around for bedtime.
Does anyone else have any experience of this or suggestions of what we could try for a 'single parent routine with 2' Letting the eldest fall asleep on the sofa then carrying him up seems to be the only way of a calm bedtime, but I hate him doing this! Or help with how to get the eldest to go to sleep on his own / stay in his own room. We have a night light which he loves, it's a soft silicone dinosaur that changed colour and we've told him he 'looks after him' at night time.
Help!
What age should you look at sleep routine for baby?
Screaming at bedtime again! 😬
Baby no 2 on the way 😀
Grumpy daddy and night feeds
hey I’ve not got 2 yet - but am about to!
What I think will probably help you is dedicating some time to getting your toddler to fall asleep on his own and stay in his room - we still cuddle our little boy to sleep for a nap but at bedtime he goes in his bed on his own, tends to chat for 10-15 mins himself and then is off to sleep.
I won’t lie - I thought we would never get there with him, but we have and I think it will make life much easier when baby comes so I can then dedicate time to babies bedtime once he’s in bed. We got there by talking to him about bedtime, going to sleep on his own and there were tears for a while, but he’s happy with it now, I haven’t got exact experience of over 2 and being in a bed rather than a cot, hopefully someone else will do.
We also have a gro clock which changes colour, he knows mummy is asleep while it’s blue in the morning and I’ll come for him when it’s yellow. I’m not sure If that’s the same sort of clock/light you have but it really helped us with him wanting to get up at a time starting with a 5! Sometimes he wakes up when it’s still blue (it changes at 6.20) but as long as he’s just happily chatting I wait until 6.20 to go and get him. We got our gro clock second hand on eBay for about a tenner, well worth it for us!
Best of luck x
I tried a grow clock with my daughter, she carefully listened as I explained she'd need to be in bed while it was blue etc, she smiled, nodded and walked over and switched it off 😂
I imagine this is what my little boy would do too!!
LOL that would be mine too
haha oh dear!! Think we may have just been lucky with him on this one then 😂 but it is out of reach too so that might help x
Thank you. How old is your little boy?
You don't mention if there was shift work involved in your routine setting. We can manage it while there are 2 adults at bedtime but as soon as there is only 1 it doesn't work.
Having him in the routine you talk about should definitely help when the new baby arrives. Good luck x
he’s 2 years 7 months now, we don’t have shift work but my husband is often out 2 nights a week, and sometimes the same for me so we need something that’s manageable for both of us to do on our own.
Thanks, I am nervous about having to do bedtime and things on my own, but will get there I hope, all the best x