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Toddler crying on waking

Millbanks profile image
16 Replies

Hi lovelies,

Hope you’re all well.

I’m wondering if anyone has / is experiencing similar to us right now. My little boy (20 months) sleeps really well. He has no trouble going to bed but when he wakes in the morning he is inconsolable until I get there. He really cries and sobs. It’s heartbreaking to hear although as soon as I get there he stops and calms down then is perfectly happy.

He also struggles to wake from naps without crying and can sometimes be in a bit of a funk for 20 mins after before he’ll let go of me.

I’ve wondered if maybe because he’s waking in pitch black it upsets him, or could it be separation anxiety at this age?

Any tips or experiences greatly appreciated!

Thanks as always xx

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Millbanks profile image
Millbanks
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16 Replies
hifer profile image
hifer

Hey my love, we’re going through exactly the same thing but at 3am. It’s such a shocker. She will not go down either. We put a night light in the room and that hasn’t helped her but could be an option for you? Very interested to hear people’s advice xx

Millbanks profile image
Millbanks in reply tohifer

Argh! Sorry to hear this!! It’s so tough isn’t it.

Fingers crossed someone else has the silver bullet 🙏🏼♥️ xxx

JoyfulStar profile image
JoyfulStar

Hi my lovely,

I don’t know if it is the same but we have had this with Micah in the middle of the night intermittently. The most recent was when we were on holiday in September. She’d wake up crying and be inconsolable. As she is beginning to communicate, we checked what it was and found out it was the AC in the hotel room.

Although she is not 2 yet, it is clear she has developed a fear of the dark and objects in the night seem to scare her more at night. The thing that helped us was talking her through what an AC was, allowing her to use the controls, getting her close to it during the day. We also left the bathroom light on at night to make sure.

On a day to day basis, if she wakes up when it is dark, we taught her turn the light on and she now looks forward to turning the light on when it is dark. It also helps that her cot is still in our bedroom ( for now).

Hoping it is a phase for your little man and he outgrows it soon xxx

Millbanks profile image
Millbanks in reply toJoyfulStar

Oh bless her, what a sweetheart. I do think now they can communicate a bit more they can tell us?!

I do wonder if it’s a dark thing as he’s just started commenting on when things are dark like a cupboard.

Maybe a nightlight would help.

Hope you’re doing well my lovely xxx

XOXO13 profile image
XOXO13

Hello, Masey is the same! Always has been, and I did work out that he doesn’t like the dark so when they go to bed, I leave the curtains open and only close the blinds so it’s still dark but not pitch black. I also leave the door open so he can see out. He still wakes really upset a lot of the time, and that I believe is because he doesn’t like to be alone! He never has, he’s a cuddly baby and always wants to contact nap or have someone next to him holding his hand! It’s an ongoing thing (and exhausting when he wakes a lot through night and won’t settle until you stay with him).

I would imagine if Killian is the same, it’s likely separation anxiety at this stage vs anything else, especially because he settles when you pick him up. Does he have a comforter or anything like that? Masey has two and holding those always seems to soothe him xx

Millbanks profile image
Millbanks in reply toXOXO13

Oh Masey! Sweet boy.

I do think separation anxiety is currently surfacing. I get a lot of “mumma up”

As we’ve just moved too I’m sure it doesn’t help although he’s always cried on waking.

Defo going to try a nightlight xxx

Fruitandflowers profile image
Fruitandflowers

My 18mnth LG is similar - she always seems to cry as she is waking. Sometimes it's probably because she's woken on her own and it's dark, but tbh a lot of the time she's in the bed with us (or on one of us!) and she still does it. She sleeps brilliantly and is not inconsolable or even really that upset, and she seems to brighten immediately and is very cheerful, so I wondered whether it was almost the confusion and bleariness as she comes to, like it takes a little while to properly wake and realise where she is - babies can sleep so deeply it might be a bit like waking up from a general anaesthetic for all I know and I always cry with those!

Millbanks profile image
Millbanks in reply toFruitandflowers

Yes that sounds likely too. Just blearliness?!

I hate waking up so maybe he gets it from me.

Thanks for your message xx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2

hey we put a wee star projector as he used to wake and just play but then got upset or starts yelling for us instantly! We also let him take his fav Thomas to bed I think waking when it’s darker has messed him up a bit and he just needs the extra light for comfort, he also has a wee paw patrol torch it has helped with the crying but not the impatience to see us 😂

He doesn’t regularly nap now but if he falls asleep in the car or does nap it’s alway tears and about 20mins of hugs until he comes round I’ve found no way to stop this really except trying to avoid a nap altogether where I can but some days he does need them, like if he has a cold etc. He keeps asking if it’s morning or night or afternoon I think the darker nights and shorter days have really confused him too! As before he saw only light as it was still a bit light at bedtime and then light in the morning and now it’s dark at both times so I think playing a part of being a bit scared of the dark and confused xx

Millbanks profile image
Millbanks in reply toTwiglet2

Oh gosh he’d love a star projector. He’d never go to sleep!

It must be so hard for them at this age, so much going on in their little brains. Big brains!

Xx

Tigr profile image
Tigr

Was a phase for us too. I try yo make sure I get to him asap when he wakes up so he learns that it not the crying that makes sure we go and get him. He usually is a bit cross when waking up but not as badly any more. I think when they start communicating more and recognising feelings more they get confused about in between steps like between being awake and happily asleep and the other way around. They kind of like both but the transitions are hard.

Millbanks profile image
Millbanks in reply toTigr

Thanks lovely. That’s really interesting. I always try to get there asap too. I guess he’ll just grow out of it either way xx

Sparklylife profile image
Sparklylife

We have had this too! We never figured out what was causing it. We still have it occasionally, but now much rarer, and mainly after naps. But he also fights naps a little now. And it is not after every nap. But takes a good 20min for him to wake up after a nap and be “happy” again.. so was never able to plan something for after naps as never knew how long until he would let me do anything other than sit and cuddle. We have had bedtime struggles lately though, almost like he is scared going to bed, but I think it is the fact he does not want to separate or we have had too much fun. Even when we do calm activities before bed! Papa has been doing bedtime this week, as less dramatic with him and it seems to be getting better again - which means bedtime is not taking so long and he is getting to sleep earlier again! Stalling bedtime was causing him to get too little sleep on a night and our days would be affected too! But much better now we are falling asleep a bit earlier again!

Last two weeks he has woken up happy and our mornings have been so much calmer and nicer! We have not really changed anything. (Other than bedtime lately - by papa rather than mamma, but crying on waking has been going on since he was 12 months for us). So maybe just an age thing, he is now 27months 🥰🥹

Millbanks profile image
Millbanks in reply toSparklylife

Ah that’s so nice to hear! Everything is a phase huh!

Yea I reckon the crying on waking has been since about 12 months too. So crazy how they have these weird little things.

I reckon we’ll try a nightlight and hope he grows out of it too xxx

Sevy571 profile image
Sevy571

For us this happened too and we were cosleeping! So I think it was a phase that only lasted a couple weeks, and so etching to do with their emotional development. Good luck.

Millbanks profile image
Millbanks in reply toSevy571

thank you! X

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