My baby prefers my husband :(: Hi all, thought I’d... - NCT

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My baby prefers my husband :(

Missjej85 profile image

Hi all, thought I’d message to see if anyone else has been through this.. I have a 2 month old who seems to love smiling and cooing for my husband but not me.. as the primary caregiver it’s so disheartening and it’s really bothering me.. not sure what I’m doing wrong

14 Replies

I'm sure that babies are programmed to do this to their dads to stop them leaving them. I thinks it's an evolution thing not a you're doing anything wrong thing.

Plus baby still think you and they are one entity at the moment, they still haven't worked out that you're a separate person yet. So they just expect you to be there, at the moment you're their everything while dad is this separate new thing to explore.

I'd say try not to feel too jealous and take full advantage of it, have a long bath with candles and a glass of wine, while dad takes care of baby or just go for a nap while they hang out together.

I missed baking when I had a newborn baby, so when dad had her I remember making a cake and feeling like a new woman 😂🎂

My little girl is 15 months now and downstairs with her dad right now calling mummy at the top of her voice, so it does not last for long until your very much in demand.

Good luck xx

Missjej85 profile image
Missjej85 in reply to Seb9

Thank you so much for your message I will try bare this in mind and not get to jealous.. it’s so hard when I’m the one getting covered in sick, p*ss and sh*t and playing with her all the time and dad walks in for 5 mins and he’s apparently superman! Defo gonna take up your suggestion and have a nice relaxing Sunday whilst I can 🤗 xx

Hi Missjej85

This happened with my brother with their second child. When she was a baby, they used to joke that the baby hated her daddy. Whenever he picked her up she would screech or sick all over him. It stayed like this for the first year. In your case it doesn’t sound nearly as bad and the thing to remember is that it passes. She’s three now and she’s super close to both her parents.

Thank you so much, it’s nice to know it will pass..I can’t wait for my baby to be close to me the way I feel close to her.. I shall try and be patient. Thanks for sharing it has really helped x

My little one smiled for everyone else first. I remember her smiling for the health visitor and still not me. There is something about at a young age they dont know you are a separate person from them. Also they know your not going anywhere, I ended up seeing it a she was just well attached to me so didn't feel the need.

Thank you that really helps, I read about preferences/favourites in 7+ month old babies but nothing about that happening with younger babies.. and to the mother aswel..your post gave me reassurance that I’m not the only one this has happened to.. and that I’m not doing anything wrong.. thank you so much! Xx

Hello yes my baby does seem to smile more for her dad. I was worried I was intimidating her or something! It's really interesting to hear what people are saying about baby thinking you and they are one entity! X

Missjej85 profile image
Missjej85 in reply to Samcz

Yes it’s very interesting and reassuring that it’s not us being intimidating.. and more a single entity thing.. I felt exactly the same as you, hope you take comfort in it the way I have.. I was starting to get abit upset about it x

My 10 week old is the same. I put it down to daddy being more stupid and she’s laughing at him, his silly baby voice and goofy expressions :)

Haha! That sounds about right my husband does the same thing with the silly voice and expressions! I’m glad it’s not just my baby who does this.. they dont mention this in any books iv read 🤣

Hello there! This is so totally normal and even if I tell you not to be upset its very hard not to be. But at this age they do not know that you're separate from them, plus you're always there so I think it's like when we're just lounging on the sofa all day, we don't smile but imagine a visitor (daddy) coming, we'd dress up and put on our best chat lol hope that makes somewhat sense.

When your baby is getting ill you'll quickly see that only mummy will do. There are some nights with my 13 month old where he will only calm down if I hold him. If dad tries to he kicks off screaming the house down... There will be times to come you'll be glad your partner can distract your baby.

But I know in the moment it's very disheartening. I remember at that age my boy would start crying/being moody in the afternoon, I'd try to distract him nothing would help. Dad comes to the living room after work and my son is rainbows and sunshine and my partner doesn't understand why I'm exhausted...... Its hard as a mum. Its the hardest job I've ever had in my life and also not really being thanked a lot or given payrises haha

Just trust yourself, you are a fabulous mum, your baby loves and needs you and soon enough you'll get all the smiles and hugs, they're learning and there will be the small signs at this stage where only mummy is best. Don't be frustrated, you just tell your little one how many hugs are owed xxx

Aww thanks so much for your message it brought a tear to my eye.. your right being a mum is the hardest job ever especially when you give it everything and it seems like my baby doesn’t smile or seem to even like me at times!

It makes sense what you’ve said and I’m so encouraged by it..i can’t wait to tell my little one how many hugs are owed xx

It’s passes and gets easier my daughter would cry and as soon as dad walked in be happy and content I put it down to she don’t remember him really so seeing him after day is like meetin a new person and because your the closest to baby baby can show you emotions more and knows ur there to comfort . With my son his dad ain’t around and he is such a happy baby will go to anybody and no issues which is great just remember soon will be all mommy mommy mommy and you will wonder where your peace has gone when you have take with you just go toilet cus daddy ain’t wanted lol xx

Missjej85 profile image
Missjej85 in reply to ali1009

Haha! Thank you so much.. makes sense, you made me smile with the toilet part! I can’t imagine my little girl wanting to come with me everywhere.. it’s a struggle just to get her to engage with me at all some days! I guess I should enjoy it while it lasts xx

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