Should I be over my miscarriage?: I know it might sound... - NCT

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Should I be over my miscarriage?


I know it might sound so ridiculous, but in those months i knew I was pregnant I felt I had company 24/7, I didn’t ever feel alone even when I was. After that I’ve been feeling lonely when on my own and when I’m around certain people. With the right people who understand me I feel ok. I’m scared to share what I feel with people as they immediately tell me I should go counseling. So should I be over it already? I had my miscarriage in September, I feel I’ve improved a lot, I don’t cry every day, I‘m ready for another pregnancy. The pain is still there, should feel fully recovered from the loss? Should I have no desire to talk about it any longer?

11 Replies

After my second miscarriage I have a few counselling session, What I learnt was your pain will be there but you learn to live with it, I am so sorry you feeling sad, but give ourself some time its still relatively new. ❤️

There is no rule book for this so you need to do everything and anything that puts you in a better place. You can’t just switch off those feelings you had and still have. I hope you get to a better place x

I’ve had 3 mc I still feel broken when I think about them. I think it’s because we can’t move on unless we actually have a pregnancy that gets to term or permanently stop trying. I’ve just had a Chemical at the weekend aswel but it doesn’t feel the same.

I think with any great trauma in life you cannot ever worry about the fact you have forgotten it, people experience pain and loss in varying degrees and in different ways. My experience has been that day to day when the pain is recent and deep you think about it every day and it hurts. Further down the line I have realised that it doesn’t hurt so much any more, then eventually it is not something you think about ever day. And then further still you have dealt with the pain and moved on. ‘Getting over’ loss is not the way to look at it, we should acknowledge our feelings particularly where they are in regard to events over which we have no control. If you can not control what happened you cannot expect to guide your emotions to forget the loss.


I want to talk about my losses. I want to acknowledge my babies existed but it’s old news to everybody else so I know how you feel. You don’t have to ever be over your miscarriage you will just learn to live with what happened. You are welcome to talk to me about it anytime! Sending lots of love x

FrancyItaly in reply to Hidden

Thank you! 😊

I have had 3 miscarriages. My first one was in 2012. The most recent in 2017. I have 2 gorgeous boys born in 2015 and this year and I know how blessed I am to have them in my life. However I still get upset and think of the babies I have lost. But it does get easier with time. You can manage those feelings better but you never forget. Be kind to yourself and don't expect anything from yourself. Take time to grieve what you have lost. I hope you get your rainbow baby soon.

FrancyItaly in reply to GemX81

Thank you 💕

I know a lady who lost her babies over 25 years ago, she still refers to them by name in conversation, it's her way of coping. Everyone learns to cope with loses in their own way and their own time. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Hi there, I found this piece about grief really resounded with me.

I had a missed miscarriage a year ago in September and still remember that awful pain that sliced straight through me when we were told. It's such a hard time but I did find the more people I spoke to about it, the more common I found out too. So many people have been through it and I found that talking about our shared experiences helped. If people suggest counselling it may be that it's helped them so don't be put off telling about it, if they suggest it. Best of luck

There’s absolutely no timeframe for grief. Everyone is different. I miscarried very early on 8 months after having my son. I got pregnant 5 months later and now also have a healthy 8 month old daughter but that early loss still really gets to me. Even after having a healthy pregnancy. There’s no right or wrong way to feel about it. I don’t think the pain ever really goes away, the same as when a loved one passes away (because that’s essentially what’s happened we we miscarry) the pain will probably always be there but we learn to cope better with it and come to terms with what’s happened. Thinking of you. Xxx

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