NCT

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Anxiety and first time mum.

Right, I really need some advice as this is my first pregnancy and I’m not exactly one for opening up to people..

I have suffered with depression when I was 16/17.. but eventually got off my medication and have been fine for the last 3/4 years.. however being pregnant (24 weeks gone) I am feeling more off centred than usual. I worry over nothing, feel anxious and sick at just a simple conversation of becoming a parent..

I’ve always wanted children and always thought I was a maternal woman.

Does anyone else worry about being a bad mum, not being able to cope, the outside world being a scary place for a little baby (over protective)..

Everyone talks about pregnancy as it’s the best thing, especially my mum and how perfect it was but my worrying isn’t letting me see it like that?

7 Replies

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Hi hunni I’m 24 weeks too on my 3rd baby no hunni your not alone . My First I was only 19 and didn’t have a care in the world my second I was 28 and everything worried me from being a bad mum to thinking I’d forget her on the bus or not know if incould Cope . I suffer from depression too . I’m now 35 with my 3rd baby on the way and I’m very up and down with my moods still wondering if I’ll cope. Guess what I have and I will see the doc or talk to your midwife Hun x you’ll be a fab mum xxx the fact your not a open person but have had the courage to open up on here says it all you’ll be fab xxx

Thank you😘 I talk to my partner about all this and he does reassure me but it’s always nicer to hear it from someone who isn’t obligated to say what you want to hear and has felt similar xxx

You're not alone hun. I had depression when I was about 14. Came out of it eventually until we lost our first baby in Dec 2016. We lost another baby in April 2017 which bought back my depression but bought anxiety with it. If I burnt tea while I was pregnant I would cry and say how can I look after our son when I can't even cook tea? How can I feed him properly? (I burnt tea twice while pregnant!).

I ended up going on medication because I was so up and down. When you do your green book at the beginning you have to say if you've had depression and that don't you so it was bought up by my midwife one day and I just told her I'm stressing so bad. She recommended going back on my meds because it's better for me and it's a lot better for our baby

If you're worrying then talk to your midwife hun. She won't judge you. She's there to make sure you and baby are well.

I will give you the heads up though, baby blues is a real thing! I had it for 2 to 3 weeks. When be was first born, if he was asleep then I couldn't be, I had to watch him all the time. I was in high dependency for a few days then they moved me into a side room so someone could stay with me at all times as my anxiety was that bad. My fiancé had to keep going home and back as we have a dog.

You'll cry a lot and think it'll never pass but I promise you it does! I've ways been maternal and now our son is 3 months old, we've found a routine and it's like we've been doing it all our life.

You'll be an amazing mum! Just for the fact you're worrying shows how much you care. As long as your baby has a full belly, is clean and is loved, that's all they want. I'm always here if you wanna chat!

Sorry for the paragraph haha!

Charli xx

Thank you! Hearing your story definitely helps, got a GP appointment next week so will bring it up to her to see what can be done to help 😊 it’s always a scary thing telling someone though cause I don’t want them to think I’m incapable xxx

It sounds normal to have these worries. However, do mention them to your midwife/healthcare professionals as then, they can be ready to provide extra support when needed and can even have arrangements in place should you suffer from any post-natal depression. I would recommend just trying to enjoy the pregnancy and keeping busy preparing for the arrival of the little one.

I was same with my 4th and Sam as you speak to your midwife and go as most areas now have specialist pregnancy mental health workers who are experts in not just mental health but the affect pregnancy has on conditions you have/have had in the past hope if gets better for you x

Hey there dear. Your story is kinda amazing... I wish nobody goes through what you did! However the way you dealt with it is amazing. You beat your issues fair and square! I wish I could be more like you. As per your current issue. I can understand that it is conserning to you but please,try your best to understand that you are blessed. A lot of women out there wish they were on your position. We dream of having children yet we can't! Don't think as parenthood as an issue that you have to overcome. Look at it as the pinnacle of your life! I also dare say that during pregnancy you hormones go all over the place. Maybe that has to do with your current state... Can't say for sure. Wish you well my friend. God bless you xxoo