Alone and struggling

[Starlight_ftm]

Even with everything I feel and struggle with I’m always the one people go to for a kind shoulder to cry on. I just noticing more and more that when I say “I’m struggling” it quickly goes back to them and how they’re struggling. I don’t mind being there for others - I’m a Counsellor by trade so it is what I strive for - to make people smile again! Just feeling really alone in how I am because no one is taking the time to reach out and say “are you ok now? Anything want to talk about”. I struggle to talk about me so it’s disheartening giving the clues out there and being honest then not getting the support I feel I need.

[Hacery]

Hello,

Because you are always the one who takes care of peoples' emotions or problems, it can be hard for people around you to imagine that you need some support. Maybe trying to have some new friends by some new events can be a good idea. By the way I would like to hear some more about you

[Starlight_ftm in reply to Hacery]

Thanks so much for your reply; I appreciate it a lot. I’m actually going to stop seeing the counsellor I’m seeing because I don’t feel he able to hit the deep issues need to and because I’d put brave face on and easily avoid I need someone to challenge me. I am under the Perinatal mental health services so I will continue with them and save money. I actually feeling quite depressed; I’ve logged off Facebook and just having some time away. In doing that though it’s made me have quite dark thoughts so just going to look after self. Got midwife Monday and Mental Health nurse Tuesday so I will focus on that. Hope you’re ok and thanks again

[Hidden]

I end up being the ear in my friendship group too. Where are you location wise? If you are nearby I would be happy to meet for coffee and a chat, sometimes the best kind of therapy is the kind not with a professional xx

[MOUSEYG40]

HELLO EVERYONE IM NEW AT ALL THIS, PLEASE DON'T BE OFFENDED BY ME TYPING IN CAPS,ITS BECAUSE IM LOSING MY EYESIGHT,ITS REALLY AMAZING TO ME THE WAY EVERYONE IS SO KIND.THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING SO AMAZING.

[hough]

Starlight, don't give up, keep going. Sounds like you have been through alot lately & need some to look after you (i did the same a few years back early 2014, as I was a careers adviser with young people & adults for 12 years & commuting 3-4 hours for work by then. Miscarried 1st preg (very early days & I have a long-term health condition that can affect fertility) Jan 2014, left my job for one 20 mins bus from home 28th Feb 2014. Earn less now, hate my current job (we've relocated since & I've worked for 2 diff uni's in Admissions since then) as some of staff not very friendly.

BUT taking a step back for me was best decision I ever made! Our son will be 3 in April & I am a very lucky woman (married nearly 13 years, together 19, etc.) life is richer & fuller now. Miscarried early again Nov 2017, but have made absolute peace. Really only thing make life easier - reducing commute again as I now commute round 3 hours a day to work since Aug 2016.

Honestly do what is best for you - get the right counsellor, speak to friends & family, explain & ask for them to support you, grow your support network (online mental health / post natal depression groups, etc. or in person - set up meet ups with local mums via NCT or Tescos baby club, mumsnet, etc.)

Wishing you the best & speedy recovery - also check in with GP in case the post-natal depression you have is clinical & needs meds temporarily to assist your recovery (my mum wrongly diagnosed bipolar, for over a decade, but the meds did her some favours in beginning as she had actually had a nervous breakdown, so her depression symptoms WERE clinical - rather than emotional based).

[Lyndsaytw79]

Hi Starlight, how are you feeling? What kind of dark thoughts are you having? This a no judge zone. Also you know that intrusive/dark thoughts are just a biproduct of depression/anxiety, so try not to worry that any of them will actually materialise xx