found out it's a boy- emotions, questions

Hi everyone,

I found out yesterday my little one is a boy. Am amazed and slightly baffled - I think I subconsciously expected to get a girl for no good reason except that I am a girl myself. Very silly, I know... I have this image that boys tend to be less cuddlly with their mothers which I find sad to think about. And I worry I will be a less good mother as I don't know what it is like to be a boy, so I might understand him less well than I might with a girl. Hm...

Otherwise I am wondering: Is there particular things I should avoid eating when expecting a boy? I read that the hormonal balance is very important - so is there food stuffs I need to avoid? Or others that are particularly good for little boys?

When I try to look up that question online, all I find is "how to eat to conceive a boy" but nothing about how, having found out the sex of your little one, you might need to adjust your nutritional intake?

Sorry if my question is stupid, appreciate any thoughts.

22 Replies

oldestnewest
  • Congrats! Not sure on what foods to eat, sorry. I always thought boys got in better with their mums, u no the old saying mummy's boys, daddy's girl. U will be a great mum, best of luck x

  • All the boys in my family seem to be closer to there mums than girls. Mums and daughters seem to argue more, and need there mums less. I wouldn't worry to much, I'm sure you'll just as good as a mum regardless of if it's a joy or a girl. Congratulations on your little boy! Xx

  • Congratulations!

    I know how you feel!

    I was wishing for a baby for past 6 years, but traveled, worked and studied and it was not the right time. So I was imagining things how they will be once I'll be expecting , once I'll be a mother.

    I was sure I am expecting a girl but on Friday scan it looked like a boy.

    I am still shocked. I have 3 sisters and younger brother. Every oldest in the family is a niece and same with my cousins.

    I never thought I'll be a mum for a boy. Also worried about bonding as I think it's more easier and natural with girls. Imagined already how we would share secrets and I would teach her knitting, sewing and croshet and we would wear floral dresses in summer and make flower crowns from daisies...

    So the same day after scan I went to the shop and bought blue baby outfit, blue socks - so I can accept the reality. My partner was a bit shocked too as he thought it's a girl.

    x

  • Hi Chris,

    I could do with those sewing lessons of yours!!!

    I ask my partner a lot of questions now about what it was like to be a little boy and that seems to help. I also am glad that he immediately agreed to show me how to clean my little ones private parts when I change his nappy, although that request made him laugh. I find it not so funny, as I know how important it is to get it right with little girls.

    One thing I am worried about is that he might get bullied. Boys and young men are statistically much more likely to be victims of gang violence and bullying behaviour, so I am worried how to help him feel strong enough. Both my partner and I are rather the small thin variety of humans...

    I guess it'll have to be one step at a time.

    Your boy might still like making flower crowns to put them on your head in the summer!!!

  • So great that your partner is so understanding and helpful! :)

    I agree about the idea that for boys the social aspect of life can be tougher than for the girls. So we will need to try and teach them to be tough! (However, I have seen mums who want their boys to be tough by saying to their boys: real men are strong, they are never scared and they don't cry- which I totally disagree with...)

    One thing I am worried about is: I am an extrovert person who likes talking (about my experiences, feelings, worries) also if some arguing comes up if needed: it's totally fine. My partner is the opposite: totally intovert, never discloses his feelings, we can't discuss problems as he gets too upset and thinks I am preaching him and often he does not treat me as nice as I would expect (would love more compliments, flowers more often than once every 2 years after nagging to get them, some help when he sees I am struggling (one day baby was low down that I found hard to bend to put socks on so I asked for a help - he took it as a joke and walked away) or just do something that would make me smile more often).

    So my worry is that my boy might learn from his dad how to deal with life and in that case I won't have access to him, specially when school problems might appear or puberty / girl related ones (dad is so introvert that I can't imagine him ever speak to his son about those things) Then again: I suppose these things you're born with (being introvert or extrovert) but the surroundings can shape you a bit too - so from day 1 I will try to console, care, reassure and chat to my boy so he grows up thinking it's normal to talk to mummy about everything.

    Maybe we just over think things. Instead we just should be taking day at the time and embrace it! :) As all will workout just fine! 💙 good luck with rest of your pregnancy!x

    (Sounds like our boys will be born around summer solstice time!)

  • I know of the cliché that boys and men don't cry but I have never known any mother to actually tell her boy that that's the way things should be. How abhorrent!

    I used to be very extroverted as a little girl and then came to be more quiet as I aged. Now I tend not to chat much at all. But if a situation arises where I feel comfortable with someone and we get talking on a subject, I won't shut up.

    About your partner: you say he doesn't like talking about his thoughts and feelings much. But do you have a feeling that he nevertheless processes problems and emotional goings-on and that, most importantly, he adapts his behaviour if the circumstances demand it?

    With him not helping you when you need help, my alarm bells are ringing. He should be able to tell the difference between when you guys are joking around and when you are seriously in need. Try to think back to moments where he did just the right thing- what was different then? maybe it's a detail of communication? Just a mad idea: might he understand "she is exhausted and needs my help" better when you don't tell him but when you sit there staring into space not moving? Then he might think to himself: "She's gone offline, what's wrong? She needs my help!". Just a mad though - and sorry if I'm galopping completely in the wrong direction with this!

    When you imagine the dynamic between the three of you in future, your child is not unlikely to see through you and partner from an early age onwards. I remember sussing out my parents: both how they ticked individually so I could get the most out of them for myself, but also how the interacted. I have a vivid memory of their fightings, how they annoyed each other and how they emotionally hurt each other. I then tried to help them - trying to manipulate them into being nicer towards one another. In case of my parents, none of this worked and it ended up being a big emotional disaster. But of course I am assuming that in your and my case, we have luck and love on our side, and we are another generation so we have much better tools to deal with emotional baggage. (My parents were still in the "marriage is for life, any problems are to be hidden, one cannot admit failure etc...." generation.)

    All of this I am saying actually only to say: when it comes to your partner and you, go under the assumption that yes, you are different from one another, but you can trust that you both want the best for your boy, that you will both "give your best". And that in your different ways, you have different tools for coping with life that you can offer your son. He will observe both of you and pick and choose what seems best to him.

    And you can trust that he will hold up a mirror to both of you. If you are open to it, you might find it quite amusing and your son might help you both grow stronger together that way.

    My duedate was shifted from july 30 to july 25. When is yours?

    Sorry I rambled... You got me going, sister!😂

  • Honestly don't worry about it.

    We didn't find out what we were having. But I thought it was a girl until about two weeks before I was due. Once you hold your baby it will be instant love, deeper then you can imagine. My child was a boy and we are completely inseparable. I am currently pregnant again and would love a girl as me and my mum have a really good relationship, but if it's another boy so be it. I'm gonna love it just as much as the first!

    You'll be fine!

  • Congratulations ☺. I have a boy and he is still breastfed at 19 months so has always been quite mummy orientated. He said just starting to ask for daddy over me which makes me feel sad. He is very cuddly. Always giving us kisses and cuddles so don't worry about that! My friends have boys too and they are the same!

    With regards to eating certain things, I had never heard that so I didn't do anything differently to the usual advice!

  • Boys are more cuddly in my experience and in so many others' too. My nearly five month old is a total Mummy's boy and craves me. He sits with his daddy, who he loves, and watches me the whole time. He wants to know where I am all of the time. Bfeeding helps the bond with any baby but it has certainly helped mine with my gorgeous boy. As soon as I saw him (whilst throwing up and being stitched up after c section) I said, if we have another, I hope it's a boy! He was so beautiful and still is.

    Don't be disappointed. Be happy that you have a healthy baby, ready to enter your life and be the best thing ever.

  • Congrats.

    What you eat makes no difference. Hormones are made in the body not directly via food. Food just gives the building blocks not the actual hormone itself. Also my husband eats the same food I prepare for us both.... And so far he has not turned into a woman, so there is really nothing to worry about.

    Also with regard tI

    Understanding being a boy or girl... I honestly don't think when they are so young there is much of a difference. Possibly boys are naughtier in general but this is really an individual trait rather than a gender based one.

  • I have got two boys ages 10, and six and I've got a six week old boy

    Wouldn't change them being boys for all the money in the world. my bestie has 2 girls and I don't envy the teenage strops and cattiness and their independence. My boys are still very cuddly and not in a rush to grow up. I can't imagine having a girl I'm very happy with the hand I've been dealt ❤️

  • Thank you so much everyone for your kind replies!!!!

    I guess it really is very individual, not only about the genetic predisposition of the individual child, boy or girl, but about the whole interaction with the parents and siblings etc. My older brother was very uncuddly, he never wanted huggs and kisses, he was positively against them. He did not tend to share his emotions and thoughts and fled the nest early. My partner is on very good terms with his parents but when they meet he handshakes with his father and he says it's been like that for a long time. I can't help thinking it's a "man thing".

    Anyhow that's probably where my preconceptions come from.

    I am so very glad to hear of so many of you having very close relationships with your boys! That helps me to shake my fears a bit.

    I guess what I am having to learn right now is that I want to love my baby with all of its attributes and I may find that it has aspects to it that differ from how I imagined it to be. But that's my job to deal with because I chose to have my baby, whereas my baby did not choose to have me! My mum used to say to me: "I will always love you - except if you murder somebody." (I think she was trying to make me laugh with that.) "... Although even then, I would probably still love you. Let's not find out."

    The nutrition question came up for me because I remember reading somewhere that certain foods can mimic certain hormones. I seem to remember soya being one of them. So I wondered if one should go easy on them for the balance in the maternal body. If noone has heard about it, I will ask my doc at next appointment.

    After the xray they still needed urine from me. I was so shaken by the boy news, I went to the bathroom with the plastic cup and came back out without having used it. Silly me had to down some water and sit in the waiting room for another half hour to do my deed again. He's already got me dancing to his tune!

    ;-)

    Thanks all for the feedback, I'll gladly read more personal reports on how you get on with your boys, I find it very comforting!

  • What makes me smile is that we were not yet trying for the baby (we only discussed it as the next half a year plan) and suddenly I learned that I am pregnant. Therefore I am a strong believer that the baby boy 💙 just chose me to be his mum 😍 and I'll be the best mum I can be! So will you!!! as you're already enquiring and thinking what and how to do best!x

  • I used to tell my mother that I had chosen to be with her. When we were lying in bed, she was trying to get me to aleep, and I told her that all children fly through the night, like little star, and they look into the windows of couples, and they choose the home they want to come to. I had chosen to come to her, and one night, as she was sleeping, I came through the window and entered her through her belly button.

    So yes, I totally agree, your boy chose you both to be his parents, of course he did!!! 💫

  • Hi there, I have one of each - and I definitely get more cuddles from my son! He's a proper mummy's boy whereas my daughter is very independent. As for nutrition- I don't think you eat different foods for one gender over another - or people wouldn't wait til birth to find out the baby's sex. Good luck and enjoy your little boy x x x

  • Hi Sea-Jay, thanks so much, that's the best point: if there ws really any evidence we should eat differently depending on what we expect, then the doctors would be much more keen to find out and tell us what we are having. Since that's not the case, there is probably no difference to be noted.

    Thank you!!!

    How old are your 2 children? I don't even have my first yet and am already wondering when yo plan number 2...

  • Exactly! Try and enjoy your pregnancy! I have a 9 year old girl and a 7 year old boy - and am now expecting no 3! I think I'm more scared this time than any! Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy! X

  • Hey congratulations

    I'm also 1st time pragnant and u have also a boy I'm in my 17 week may Allah bless both of us

    And about eating I just suggest whatever u feel like to eat u just eat those things and it's good for ur little one too .... As I'm doing the same 😊

    Good luck xx

  • Congratulations. I have 2 boys and a girl and expecting another girl. Believe me you will be just as close and bonded to a boy as you would have been with a girl. Infact girls are more complexed lol. Boys tend to wear their hearts on their sleeves and they are just as cuddly and cute as girls. I would just say eat what you can eat and don't worry too much about that. Obviously don't eat anything deemed to be dangerous in pregnancy x

  • Don't have any practical advice on foods etc... but I can say boys are a lot more affectionate with mums, girls tend to be more independent earlier on.

  • I don't think your diet should be altered for either gender. Just eat as a healthy and nutritious as you can.

    In terms of having a boy I think it's natural to feel apprehensive being a woman and not knowing what to expect but honestly being a mother to a little boy is the best thing I ever did. He is so cuddly and lovable I could literally eat him lol. Don't worry about not understanding him you could have a little girl and struggle to understand her too.

  • Congratulations. Personally I am hoping for a boy slightly more than a girl. Girls seem to run in the family and I would love to break the trend and parent a boy. I am sure you will bond just great with your child and learn to love all things little boy!

You may also like...